We had a great empathizing and praying for a father; so many good responses. And \u201cDad\u2019s\u201d response yesterday showed what a blog community can do for folks. Here is the response I wrote to him, now just a little fleshed out than the note I sent to him last week. By the way, Ken White\u2019s pastorally insightful comment was special for all of us to see as the father wrote in and said, \u201cYep, he\u2019s just like me.\u201d <\/em> We had a great empathizing and praying for a father; so many good responses. And \u201cDad\u2019s\u201d response yesterday showed what a blog community can do for folks. Here is the response I wrote to him, now just a little fleshed out than the note I sent to him last week. By the way, Ken White\u2019s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":197,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1758],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3984","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-birds"],"yoast_head":"\n
\nDear Father,
\nThis is a tough one because your son is now forming his basic identity. He\u2019s not a newbie; he\u2019s got some ideas already formed. I suspect he\u2019s gotten this stuff from peers, school and the like. Doesn\u2019t matter that much. I feel for you brother; I\u2019ve seen lots of this.
\nThe single most important thing I would say (from a college professor\u2019s vantage point) is to latch onto a person (1) he can identify with and (2) who models the faith and (3) who is not an authority figure, like you or your wife.
\nThe second thing is this: do whatever you can to understand him; empathize; chase his ideas down even further than he\u2019s willing to chase. In other words, get into his skin with him and share his relativism.
\nKeep communicating; asking; not mettling but not afraid to ask; make his answers safe; keep it at the conversational level; let him know you trust him and that you want to think with him about these things.
\nRemember this is not just intellectual; this is whole person stuff. No matter how intellectual his arguments might be, it is always more than that. But, there are some today who might suggest relativism is not important to counter; I disagree. We might be relative to something, but total relativism defeats life and truth at the basic level. Humans can\u2019t and therefore don\u2019t live at that level.
\nGood books? Shane Claiborne. Rob Bell. Brian McLaren. Whether you like these guys or not, they are speaking that language quite well. Donald Miller is another one.
\nAlso, you can\u2019t manufacture this but I suggest a good youth group; vibrant; faithful and serving; biblical, that sort of thing. A vibrant leader of the youth group who loves kids can do kids a world of good. I can\u2019t tell you the number of students who, as first year students, talk about their youth pastor; many of them don\u2019t mention the youth pastor by the time they are college seniors.
\nI didn\u2019t say anything about relativism in morals. CS Lewis\u2019 Mere Christianity constructs everything from here and I suggest you read it again; I don\u2019t know many high schoolers who find much value in him, but Lewis\u2019 approach is potent for many of us.
\nHave you asked him if he thinks anything is wrong? Then the next one is \u201cwhy?\u201d and then \u201cHow many things are like that?\u201d and then \u201cHow do we know such things?\u201d Of course, this isn\u2019t a 15 minute conversation but month long conversations. Sort of like a blog series!
\nAnyway, these are my first thoughts.
\nOur prayers are with you, father, and you also know that many readers of this blog spent some time in prayer for you, your wife, your son and his bothers yesterday. This is the blog world at its best friend.
\nBlessings,
\nScot<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"