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{"id":67,"date":"2010-09-02T00:03:09","date_gmt":"2010-09-02T06:03:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/community\/jesuscreed\/?p=67"},"modified":"2010-09-10T16:24:09","modified_gmt":"2010-09-10T21:24:09","slug":"dads-in-divorce-court-by-taylor-george","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/2010\/09\/02\/dads-in-divorce-court-by-taylor-george\/","title":{"rendered":"Dads in Divorce Court (by Taylor George)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

$\"\"$ <\/a><\/p>\n

Not often can you find two men at work hugging, crying, and sharing a story.\u00a0 That\u2019s the situation I found myself in a couple years back when a coworker of mine, Ted, told me his child custody story while I was trying to fix his computer.\u00a0 It\u2019s a story it seems I am hearing almost every other month from friends and family alike. <\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

It goes something like this: we married seven years ago and grew apart.\u00a0 Along the way we had a couple kids but now I hardly get to see them.\u00a0 In Ted\u2019s case it was four toddler aged boys and a bit older, and according to Ted when the fourth one turned out to be a boy his wife left him.\u00a0 \u201cYou see,\u201d said Ted. \u201cShe wanted a girl, and when that didn\u2019t happen she became disinterested in the marriage.\u201d<\/p>\n

Now he\u2019s left with a child support payment and little contact or influence with his kids.\u00a0 He has a picture from their younger days sitting on his desk, and as he told me his story we both began to tear up.\u00a0 I realize that Ted\u2019s ex-wife has a side to this story.\u00a0 The fact is this however, as a father it is possible to be nearly perfect and lose physical and legal custody of the kids.<\/p>\n

Truth be told, there is no perfect way to split a family.\u00a0 It is obviously a complex situation for a third party to figure out.\u00a0 Once again though, we know how the courts usually rule.\u00a0 Fathers get a couple weekends a month, a week or two in the summer, no decision making in the life of the children, and many times a crippling monthly payment.\u00a0 In the state of California it can be as much as sixty percent of your income.<\/p>\n

So<\/strong> here is the question:\u00a0 Why does this have to be the de facto one size fits all solution?\u00a0 Why must Dads be guilty until proven innocent? Why can\u2019t we figure out how to share physical custody especially for children well beyond infancy?
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

One answer might be retribution.\u00a0 For years men worked, came home plopped their feet up on the couch and watched on while mommy plugged away changing diapers. \u00a0I get that.\u00a0 I get the parts of this debate that are related to women\u2019s liberation and rewarding those who nurture.\u00a0 I can remember my 80 year old grandmother at a Thanksgiving dinner two years ago unsuspectingly unloading on all of us about how our dead grandfather \u201cwouldn\u2019t do a damn thing with the kids after work.\u201d\u00a0 Strong words for a Southern Baptist.<\/p>\n

To this line of thinking I\u2019d like to say firstly that times have changed, and more importantly fathers have changed.\u00a0 Dads today are more involved and more nurturing.\u00a0\u00a0 So let me state this: We need a change.\u00a0 We need to draw Dads back into the equation.\u00a0 Dads need their kids, and kids need their dads.\u00a0 We need to treat Dads fairly in custody situations.\u00a0 We need to quit pitting Moms against Dads, and quit giving Mom\u2019s an incentive to seek a divorce unnecessarily.<\/p>\n

To the people that disagree with my direction on this I have to ask, how would you want the courts to treat your sons as grown adult fathers?<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"