\u201cWho\u2019s in charge?\u201d is a source of friction in many marriages. Latching on to the traditional concept of \u201cmale headship,\u201d a number of Christian husbands use this mantra to abuse or marginalize their wives. I would like to suggest that there is a healing paradigm that would liberate couples and vastly improve marital relationships\u2014seek the mind of the Lord together<\/em>. This paradigm is unfolded in 1 Corinthians 7:1-5.<\/p>\n1 Corinthians 7:1-5 is the\u00a0only<\/em> place in the New Testament where the word \u201cauthority\u201d (Greek,\u00a0exousia<\/em>) is used with reference to marriage. Yet it is not the authority of the husband over the wife, or vice versa, that is in view, but rather a\u00a0mutual authority<\/em> over each other\u2019s body. 1 Corinthians 7:4 states that the wife has authority over her husband\u2019s body. One would think that this would be a hard pill to swallow for those who see \u201cauthority\u201d as resting only in the husband\u2019s headship.<\/p>\nIn the context of this passage Paul states that a couple cannot separate from one another physically unless there is\u00a0mutual consent<\/em> (Greek,\u00a0symphonou<\/em>). Both parties must agree to the separation or it shouldn\u2019t happen. There is, then, nothing in this text supporting the contention that the husband\u2019s \u201cauthority\u201d should override his wife\u2019s differing viewpoint.<\/p><\/blockquote>\nJohn Piper suggests that \u201cmature masculinity accepts the burden of the final say in disagreements between husband and wife, but does not presume to use it in every instance\u201d (What\u2019s the Difference?<\/em>, p. 32). But 1 Corinthians 7:5 challenges Piper\u2019s assumed maxim. If the wife disagrees with a physical separation, the husband should not overrule his wife with the \u201cfinal choice.\u201d Biblically, such separation can occur only if both husband and wife are in \u201csymphony\u201d (unity) about such an action.<\/p>\nNow if mutual consent applies in an important issue like physical separation from one another for a period of time, wouldn\u2019t it seem proper that coming to one-mindedness would be the broad decision-making model in a healthy marriage? Piper feels that \u201cin a good marriage decision-making is focused on the husband, but is not unilateral\u201d (What\u2019s the Difference?<\/em>, p. 32). Yet in light of 1 Corinthians 7:1-5, I suggest that decision-making should focus on\u00a0finding the Lord\u2019s mind together<\/em>. Over the years the good ideas, solutions to problems, and answers to dilemmas will flow from both husband and wife as they seek the Lord as a couple for \u201csymphony.\u201d<\/p>\n1 Corinthians 7:5 throws a wrench into the works for those who would conclude that the husband has the \u201cfinal say\u201d under presumed authority commonly known as \u201cmale headship.\u201d Paul teaches that unless the couple can agree on a course of action, it should not be executed. I suggest that this revelation invites us to re-examine what the husband\u2019s headship really entails (cf. Gordon D. Fee, \u201c1 Corinthians 7:1-7 Revisited,\u201d\u00a0Paul & the Corinthians: Studies On A Community in Conflict<\/em>, Trevor J. Burke\/J. Keith Elliott, eds.).<\/p>\nIt is safe to say that most evangelical husbands have been affected by the \u201cfinal say\u201d position embedded in traditional ideas about \u201cmale headship.\u201d I would invite believing husbands to meditate on 1 Corinthians 7:1-5, pray about it before the Lord, and discuss it with your precious wives. I think you will find that\u00a0seeking the Lord together<\/em> and waiting for the \u201csymphony\u201d that brings unity and peace is a far better way to function together in a Christ-honoring marriage. The traditional top-down, hierarchical, the-man-is-in-charge model is out of sync with Paul\u2019s words in 1 Corinthians 7:1-5.<\/p>\nRemember, 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 is the only place in Scripture where the word \u201cauthority\u201d is mentioned in connection with marriage. The really striking thing about this \u201cauthority\u201d is that it is a\u00a0mutual authority over each other\u2019s body<\/em>, and has nothing to do with the husband\u2019s alleged \u201cauthority\u201d over his wife. The truth is, compared to traditional ideas about male headship since the 3rd century AD, Paul\u2019s perspective here is revolutionary\u2014especially when it is recalled that in the first century AD women were often viewed as property or chattel.<\/p><\/blockquote>\nA good post recently from Jim Martin about marriage relationships<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"John Zens, author of a recent book on Paul and women, in the weekly newletter of CBE, posts this:<\/p>\n
“Who’s in charge?” is a source of friction in many marriages. Latching on to the traditional concept of “male headship,” a number of Christian husbands use this mantra to abuse or marginalize their wives. I would like to suggest that there is a healing paradigm that would liberate couples and vastly improve marital relationships\u2014seek the mind of the Lord together. This paradigm is unfolded in 1 Corinthians 7:1-5.<\/p>\n
1 Corinthians 7:1-5 is the only place in the New Testament where the word “authority” (Greek, exousia) is used with reference to marriage. Yet it is not the authority of the husband over the wife, or vice versa, that is in view, but rather a mutual authority over each other’s body. 1 Corinthians 7:4 states that the wife has authority over her husband\u2019s body. One would think that this would be a hard pill to swallow for those who see “authority” as resting only in the husband’s headship.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":197,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1756],"tags":[1898,1899,1897],"class_list":["post-7924","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-love-and-marriage","tag-egalitarian","tag-john-piper","tag-john-zens"],"yoast_head":"\n
Who's in charge (in this marriage)?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"John Zens, author of a recent book on Paul and women, in the weekly newletter of CBE, posts this: "Who's in charge?" is a source of friction in many marriages. Latching on to the traditional concept of "male headship," a number of Christian husbands use this mantra to abuse or marginalize their wives. I would like to suggest that there is a healing paradigm that would liberate couples and vastly improve marital relationships\u2014seek the mind of the Lord together. This paradigm is unfolded in 1 Corinthians 7:1-5. 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 is the only place in the New Testament where the word "authority" (Greek, exousia) is used with reference to marriage. Yet it is not the authority of the husband over the wife, or vice versa, that is in view, but rather a mutual authority over each other's body. 1 Corinthians 7:4 states that the wife has authority over her husband\u2019s body. One would think that this would be a hard pill to swallow for those who see "authority" as resting only in the husband's headship.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/2010\/09\/22\/whos-in-charge-in-this-marriage\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Who's in charge (in this marriage)?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"John Zens, author of a recent book on Paul and women, in the weekly newletter of CBE, posts this: "Who's in charge?" is a source of friction in many marriages. Latching on to the traditional concept of "male headship," a number of Christian husbands use this mantra to abuse or marginalize their wives. I would like to suggest that there is a healing paradigm that would liberate couples and vastly improve marital relationships\u2014seek the mind of the Lord together. This paradigm is unfolded in 1 Corinthians 7:1-5. 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 is the only place in the New Testament where the word "authority" (Greek, exousia) is used with reference to marriage. Yet it is not the authority of the husband over the wife, or vice versa, that is in view, but rather a mutual authority over each other's body. 1 Corinthians 7:4 states that the wife has authority over her husband\u2019s body. One would think that this would be a hard pill to swallow for those who see "authority" as resting only in the husband's headship.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/2010\/09\/22\/whos-in-charge-in-this-marriage\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Jesus Creed\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2010-09-22T05:14:21+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2010-09-21T01:34:47+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.assoc-amazon.com\/e\/ir?t=jescre-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0976522292\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Scot McKnight\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Scot McKnight\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/2010\/09\/22\/whos-in-charge-in-this-marriage\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/2010\/09\/22\/whos-in-charge-in-this-marriage\/\",\"name\":\"Who's in charge (in this marriage)?\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2010-09-22T05:14:21+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2010-09-21T01:34:47+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/jesuscreed\/#\/schema\/person\/5919e847c58ffe6efb5899fb61797252\"},\"description\":\"John Zens, author of a recent book on Paul and women, in the weekly newletter of CBE, posts this: \\\"Who's in charge?\\\" is a source of friction in many marriages. Latching on to the traditional concept of \\\"male headship,\\\" a number of Christian husbands use this mantra to abuse or marginalize their wives. I would like to suggest that there is a healing paradigm that would liberate couples and vastly improve marital relationships\u2014seek the mind of the Lord together. This paradigm is unfolded in 1 Corinthians 7:1-5. 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 is the only place in the New Testament where the word \\\"authority\\\" (Greek, exousia) is used with reference to marriage. Yet it is not the authority of the husband over the wife, or vice versa, that is in view, but rather a mutual authority over each other's body. 1 Corinthians 7:4 states that the wife has authority over her husband\u2019s body. 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<\/em><\/strong>, in the weekly newletter of CBE<\/a><\/strong>, posts this:<\/p>\n