\nWife: caretaker, nurturer, home-maker, and child-raiser<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
In complementarianism, both roles are emphasized as equally important, equally God-given, and somehow \u201cequally equal.\u201d<\/p>\n
But for egalitarians, these roles (though common) are in no way divine mandates, with everything else being \u201coutside the will of God.\u201d Instead, egalitarians promote a more functional <\/em>equivalence: both husband and wife are responsible for all the things listed above, and this can and will look different in every situation.<\/p>\nThere are lots of reasons why many egalitarians feel complementarianism is degrading to women. Here are some key reasons why I as a single man<\/strong> don\u2019t like the way complementarian gender roles are taught in the church:<\/p>\n\n- \n
Most of the content is centered on marriage, thus reinforcing the unspoken message that singles are not \u201ccomplete\u201d men\/women until marriage<\/p>\n<\/li>\n
- \n
It unintentionally shames those of us (such as myself) whose personalities and interests deviate from many of the culturally-imposed norms of \u201cmasculinity.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/li>\n
- \n
It reinforces the over-sexualization of all male-female relationships. Because gender roles are always taught within the context of marriage, men and women (especially singles) can\u2019t enjoy deep and appropriate friendships without raising eyebrows.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n
- \n
It makes strong, hardworking, providing women like my mother anomalies instead of exemplary models for women.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n
- \n
It can and often does fail to challenge the sad stereotype of the emotionally distant father\/man, because women are the nurturers.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n
- \n
It deprives many men of much valuable and rich teaching of brilliant female leaders.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n
- \n
It makes what should be a safe space (i.e. the Church) for those struggling with their sexual identity into a very unsafe and undesirable space.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
It\u2019s important to emphasize that both <\/em>sides desire to affirm the equality of the man and women. I don\u2019t think complementarians are ill-intentioned, just wrong to make their position the only <\/em>one.<\/p>\nI recognize that each of these represents the worst of complementarianism. Blanket statements can\u2019t cover every exception. I have seen many loving, exemplary, beautifully harmonious marriages using traditional gender roles.<\/p>\n
But please, if you\u2019re complementarian, try to avoid making it an unquestionable and God-given norm. You\u2019ll hurt lots of people if you do. There\u2019s not \u201cone way to do it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Corey Farr is a graduate of Northern Seminary. He is currently located in the Middle East in Lebanon, a tiny country next to war-torn Syria, where he lives and works on-site at a residential facility and elementary school for both Syrian and Lebanese orphans and children at risk. A singer-songwriter and wanna-be author, Corey blogs about faith, spirituality, and poetry at\u00a0www.coreyfarr.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"By Corey Farr There\u2019s a big debate within church circles: complementarian or egalitarian? To summarize without nuance: do husbands and wives have God-given responsibilities to specific gender roles or not? For complementarians, these roles are clear: Husband: financial provider, primary \u201cleader\u201d of the home, who ultimately is responsible and accountable for all final decisions Wife: […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":197,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-89865","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n
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