(Photo by Horia Varlan, Flickr)<\/figcaption><\/figure>It\u2019s no small mercy that one of the most elevated human undertakings can occur during one of the most humbling. Yes, I\u2019m talking about reading on the john. <\/p>\nStop blushing. You know you do it. Everyone does. I only wonder if we\u2019re maximizing the experience. Facebook on your cell phone, a hastily snatched magazine, or a dog-eared book previously abandoned in the bathroom are usually unworthy of the occasion. A greater intentionality is required here. There are certain books that can redeem the time in ways untold, and here are (drum roll optional) a few of them. First, my favorite and then some runners up:<\/p>\n
Montaigne\u2019s Essays<\/em><\/strong>. Montaigne lived in the sixteenth century, but he could be your next-door neighbor. That is, if your next-door neighbor were wiser, smarter, funnier, humbler, better-read, and more self-deprecating. There is not a human emotion that Montaigne doesn\u2019t touch or treat in the Essays<\/em>, and he writes about almost every subject imaginable. Within the span of thirty pages, he covers everything from war horses to ancient customs, smells, prayer, and aging. He treats subjects like the love of fathers for their children, will power, thumbs, changing your mind, names, sleep, sumptuary laws, cannibals, inconsistency, fear, sadness, solitude, friendship, even how we laugh and cry at the same things. <\/p>\nIn the preface, Montaigne says a reader would be \u201cunreasonable to spend your leisure\u201d on his book. It\u2019s one of the few things about which he was entirely wrong. For his sheer scope and insight, I think it is safe and fitting to say that Montaigne is one of the most fully human writers to ever take up the pen. And his wide reach means you\u2019ll never be bored. Most of the entries are quick reads, thoughtful and amusing. No bathroom should be without a copy of the Essays<\/em>. There are dozens of editions out there; my favorite is Donald M. Frame\u2019s Everyman\u2019s Library edition of The Complete Works<\/em>.<\/p>\nC.S. Lewis\u2019 The Screwtape Letters<\/em><\/strong>. Even without the suggestive posture of the gargoyle on the cover of the recent HarperOne edition, contemplating the advice of senior demon Screwtape to his nephew Wormwood while in the confines of the small room makes a certain sort of sense. Screwtape<\/em> is one of those books that rewards many readings and can be picked up at any place and satisfy just about any mood. Lewis is sly, funny, perceptive, and on-point throughout. The discussions about the physicality of prayer or the dips and highs of living are, for instance, revelatory at the first reading and great reminders ever thereafter. And speaking of the underworld. . . .<\/p>\nAmbrose Bierce\u2019s The Devil\u2019s Dictionary<\/em><\/strong>. Maybe the original spoof dictionary, Bierce started what became the DD<\/em> in 1881 with definitions filed in a weekly paper. By 1911 it was a full-blown and riotous tome, made all the better by the posthumously published Enlarged Devil\u2019s Dictionary<\/em> (my favorite edition). Here\u2019s his definition of cabbage: \u201cA familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man\u2019s head.\u201d And belladonna: \u201cIn Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.\u201d<\/p>\nThe Oxford Book of Essays<\/em>, edited by John Gross<\/strong>. A wide ranging collection of essays by everyone from Francis Bacon to H. L. Mencken, Jonathan Swift to G. K. Chesterton, William Hazlitt to Mark Twain, John Henry Newman to George Santayana. Perhaps best of all you can find Ambrose Bierce\u2019s hilarious and Facebook-timely essay, \u201cDisintroductions.\u201d<\/p>\nFinley Peter Dunne\u2019s Mr. Dooley on Ivrything and Ivrybody<\/em><\/strong>. As you might guess from the language in the title, Mr. Dooley doesn\u2019t speak the King\u2019s English. Or the Queen\u2019s English. Or anybody\u2019s but his own. The books were written a little more than a hundred years ago and involve the ramblings of an Irish\u2014what else?\u2014bartender named Mr. Dooley, also known as the philosopher. (Think Montaigne but with Bushmills.) Mr. Dooley holds forth on the news of his day (some of it is very dated, though still amusing) and subjects of timeless curiosity. A smattering of topics include books, anarchists, family reunions, keeping lent, history, swearing, vice, gratitude, and political reform movements, captured perfectly in this classic statement of his: \u201cA man that\u2019d expict to thrain lobsters to fly in a year is called a loonytic; but a man that thinks men can be tur-rned into angels be an iliction is called a rayformer an\u2019 remains at large.\u201d<\/p>\nEach of these books lends itself to serendipity. Just open one and see what you find. It\u2019s hard to think of a better or more edifying way to pass the time. <\/p>\n
What are your favorite bathroom reads? And don\u2019t worry. If you\u2019re embarrassed, just start the sentence with \u201cWell, my friend likes. . . .\u201d I\u2019ll wink and pretend I have no idea.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It\u2019s no small mercy that one of the most elevated human undertakings can occur during one of the most humbling. Yes, I\u2019m talking about reading on the john. Stop blushing. You know you do it. Everyone does. I only wonder if we\u2019re maximizing the experience.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1270,"featured_media":1927,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[42,99,228,258,268,299,379,431,466,728],"class_list":["post-1056","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-books-2","tag-ambrose-bierce","tag-c-s-lewis","tag-facebook","tag-francis-bacon","tag-g-k-chesterton","tag-h-l-mencken","tag-jonathan-swift","tag-mark-twain","tag-montaigne","tag-william-hazlitt"],"yoast_head":"\n
What goes into a man<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"It\u2019s no small mercy that one of the most elevated human undertakings can occur during one of the most humbling. Yes, I\u2019m talking about reading on the\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/2010\/05\/what-goes-into-a-man\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What goes into a man\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"It\u2019s no small mercy that one of the most elevated human undertakings can occur during one of the most humbling. Yes, I\u2019m talking about reading on the\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/2010\/05\/what-goes-into-a-man\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Joel J. Miller\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2010-05-14T08:40:28+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/276\/2010\/05\/what-goes-into-a-man.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"240\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"240\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Joel J. Miller\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Joel J. Miller\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/2010\/05\/what-goes-into-a-man\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/2010\/05\/what-goes-into-a-man\/\",\"name\":\"What goes into a man\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2010-05-14T08:40:28+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2010-05-14T08:40:28+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/#\/schema\/person\/b481a8abcb28f825f4a759aa0ea9e11c\"},\"description\":\"It\u2019s no small mercy that one of the most elevated human undertakings can occur during one of the most humbling. Yes, I\u2019m talking about reading on the\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/2010\/05\/what-goes-into-a-man\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/2010\/05\/what-goes-into-a-man\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/2010\/05\/what-goes-into-a-man\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"What goes into a man\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/\",\"name\":\"Joel J. Miller\",\"description\":\"Where Christian Theology Meets Daily Life\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/#\/schema\/person\/b481a8abcb28f825f4a759aa0ea9e11c\",\"name\":\"Joel J. Miller\",\"description\":\"I'm the author of Lifted by Angels, a look at angels through the eyes of the early church. Click here for more about me or subscribe to my RSS here.\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/author\/jmiller\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"What goes into a man","description":"It\u2019s no small mercy that one of the most elevated human undertakings can occur during one of the most humbling. Yes, I\u2019m talking about reading on the","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/2010\/05\/what-goes-into-a-man\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"What goes into a man","og_description":"It\u2019s no small mercy that one of the most elevated human undertakings can occur during one of the most humbling. Yes, I\u2019m talking about reading on the","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/2010\/05\/what-goes-into-a-man\/","og_site_name":"Joel J. Miller","article_published_time":"2010-05-14T08:40:28+00:00","og_image":[{"width":"240","height":"240","url":"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/276\/2010\/05\/what-goes-into-a-man.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Joel J. Miller","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Joel J. Miller","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/2010\/05\/what-goes-into-a-man\/","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/2010\/05\/what-goes-into-a-man\/","name":"What goes into a man","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/#website"},"datePublished":"2010-05-14T08:40:28+00:00","dateModified":"2010-05-14T08:40:28+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/#\/schema\/person\/b481a8abcb28f825f4a759aa0ea9e11c"},"description":"It\u2019s no small mercy that one of the most elevated human undertakings can occur during one of the most humbling. Yes, I\u2019m talking about reading on the","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/2010\/05\/what-goes-into-a-man\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/2010\/05\/what-goes-into-a-man\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/2010\/05\/what-goes-into-a-man\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"What goes into a man"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/","name":"Joel J. Miller","description":"Where Christian Theology Meets Daily Life","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/#\/schema\/person\/b481a8abcb28f825f4a759aa0ea9e11c","name":"Joel J. Miller","description":"I'm the author of Lifted by Angels, a look at angels through the eyes of the early church. Click here for more about me or subscribe to my RSS here.","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/author\/jmiller\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1056","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1270"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1056"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1056\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1927"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1056"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1056"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/joeljmiller\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1056"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
![\"What](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/276\/2010\/05\/what-goes-into-a-man.jpg\")
<\/a>