{"id":14026,"date":"2019-04-25T03:00:22","date_gmt":"2019-04-25T09:00:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/?p=14026"},"modified":"2019-04-23T18:07:40","modified_gmt":"2019-04-24T00:07:40","slug":"the-limits-of-accessibility-for-pagan-clergy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2019\/04\/the-limits-of-accessibility-for-pagan-clergy.html","title":{"rendered":"The Limits of Accessibility for Pagan Clergy"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

A few days ago a Pagan clergy friend posted a straightforward but complicated question: \u201cHow accessible do you think someone who is clergy should be?\u201d<\/p>\n

My response was basically \u201cwe all have to decide for ourselves.\u201d If you\u2019re never accessible you aren\u2019t serving as clergy. If you\u2019re always accessible you\u2019ll do nothing else. The boundaries lie somewhere in between, and they\u2019re different for everyone. But there are some guidelines that can help some of you draw your own boundaries as clergy, and can help others understand why your favorite Pagan clergyperson isn\u2019t as accessible as you\u2019d like them to be.<\/p>\n

I covered some of this in \u201cSelf-care for Priests and Other Pagan Leaders\u201d at Sacred Space, I workshop I\u2019ll give again at Mystic South<\/a> in Atlanta in July (come to Mystic South \u2013 it\u2019s awesome!).<\/p>\n

Who is Pagan clergy?<\/h1>\n

Titles like \u201cpriest\u201d \u201cpriestess\u201d and \u201cclergy\u201d are not always well understood in the Pagan community. Some people claim them who don\u2019t deserve them, while others reject them even though they\u2019re doing the work. In 2014 I wrote a fairly detailed explanation of my views on Pagan priesthood<\/a>. Priesthood and clergy often go together, but not always.<\/p>\n

In the context of the original question and in my own practice, the clergy are the people who care for a religious community. In particular, they provide pastoral care, especially counseling. And that\u2019s where questions of boundaries and accessibility come in. If you\u2019re serving as clergy \u2013 regardless of your title \u2013 do you have to be available 24\/7?<\/p>\n

That question has a simple answer: no.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Our ministry isn\u2019t our livelihood<\/h1>\n

The only model most of us have for clergy is what we see in other religions: Protestant ministers, Catholic priests, Jewish rabbis, and such. Many of us assume that Pagan religious leaders should do more or less the same things in more or less the same ways.<\/p>\n

That wasn\u2019t the case in ancient times \u2013 you didn\u2019t go to a temple priest for counseling. Their job was to care for the shrines and to perform necessary rites, not to provide pastoral care. Whether modern Pagans should return to that model is an interesting question, but one for another time.<\/p>\n

The problem with comparing ourselves to, say, UU ministers, is that their congregations are paying them to provide pastoral care (among many other things). Nobody is paying us \u2013 that means we have to make a living doing something else. If you call me at 3:00 AM, that\u2019s going to impact my ability to do my paying job the next day. If you want an hour of my time every week, that\u2019s an hour I can\u2019t spend writing blogs or books or resting up from my paying job.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m always happy to answer brief questions or to make recommendations free of charge. If you want more lengthy services, you should expect to pay for it \u2013 whether you come to me or any other Pagan clergy.<\/p>\n

The limits of expertise<\/h1>\n

I\u2019m a Druid and a priest who makes his living as an engineer. I\u2019m not a psychologist. I can provide basic pastoral counseling and spiritual care. I cannot provide therapy. It\u2019s not a question of licensing so much as it\u2019s a question of expertise \u2013 I don\u2019t know how to provide mental health care.<\/p>\n

Spiritual issues and mental health issues are often intertwined. But spiritual treatment is no substitute<\/a> for proper mental health care. If I think someone has mental health issues, or if their needs simply exceed my skills, I\u2019ll refer them to a mental health professional<\/a>.<\/p>\n

The same is true for spiritual matters. If you need a major magical working, I\u2019m probably going to refer you do someone who does that kind of work on a regular basis.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re serving as clergy is it essential that you know your skills and your limitations. When someone\u2019s needs exceeds what you can provide, the only ethical option is to refer them to someone with greater skills in that area.<\/p>\n

Emergencies vs. regular occurrences<\/h1>\n

We all intuitively understand that extraordinary situations call for extraordinary responses. If a friend is critically injured in a wreck, that calls for a different level of response than if someone scratches the paint on their new car. Part of being in community is being available for people in their hour of need. When emergencies happen, we go.<\/p>\n

But with some people, emergencies can become regular occurrences. Maybe that\u2019s legitimate: some medical or psychological conditions have flare-ups that can happen at any time. Or maybe it\u2019s not, and they\u2019re trying to take advantage of your generosity.<\/p>\n

We need not judge who is worthy of our help and who is not (unless they\u2019re being manipulative, in which case judge away). Just as expertise is a limitation, so is bandwidth. Doing something once or twice in what we think is an emergency does not obligate us to do it on an on-going basis. If someone needs more from you than you can provide, refer them to social services or other professionals.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Family, community, and acquaintances<\/h1>\n

We may all be created equal, but everyone is not equal when it comes to providing pastoral care. Reciprocity matters. Ties of blood, sweat, and tears matter.<\/p>\n

I have my family, some of blood and others of choice. These people have always been there for me and so I\u2019ll always be there for them. They can call on me any time, for any reason, and I\u2019ll respond. I know they\u2019ll do the same for me.<\/p>\n

Then there\u2019s my community, the people I know and work with (in person or on-line) on a regular basis. People who share my beliefs and practices, who share my goals to build a better world here and now. They may not have done me any personal favors, but we\u2019re part of the same movements and the same organizations. We\u2019re neighbors (regardless of physical distance) and so I\u2019m going to respond in an neighborly fashion. My boundaries here are tighter than they are with family, but they\u2019re still pretty generous.<\/p>\n

Then there are acquaintances, people I barely know, or who know me from my writing even though I don\u2019t know them. Here there is no reciprocity, no past favors I\u2019m obligated to return. But there is hospitality \u2013 welcoming those in need and doing your best to be a good host. I\u2019ll do what I can for acquaintances, but my boundaries are pretty firm.<\/p>\n

In practice, though, what is within my boundaries has almost always been enough.<\/p>\n

Set your boundaries now<\/h1>\n

Clergy work has a way of finding the people who can do it. Build a strong practice of your own, demonstrate good listening skills, show you\u2019ve got a bit of wisdom about yourself and people will find you. Some of them just need to be heard. Some need help with discernment. Some need professional assistance. If you can do any of that they\u2019ll find you, no matter your titles, certifications, or lack thereof.<\/p>\n

But whatever you can do, you can\u2019t do everything. You can\u2019t be everything for everyone, and you can\u2019t be available to anyone at all times. Setting boundaries is not only proper, it\u2019s necessary \u2013 otherwise you\u2019ll burn yourself out and you won\u2019t be able to help anyone.<\/p>\n

I can tell you how I\u2019ve set my boundaries, but I can\u2019t tell you how to set yours \u2013 you have to do it yourself.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re functioning as Pagan clergy, you probably know that many times people don\u2019t need advice so much as they need affirmation. They need someone to tell them they\u2019re doing the right thing and to help them find the confidence to do what they know they need to do, even though it\u2019s not easy.<\/p>\n

Consider this your affirmation. Boundaries are necessary. Limits on accessibility are necessary. Drawing and enforcing them will help you to serve as clergy effectively for a long time while still living a healthy life.<\/p>\n

Blessings to you as you do the sacred work you\u2019re called to do.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

How accessible should Pagan clergy be? Here are some guidelines that can help you draw your own boundaries as clergy, and can help you understand why your favorite Pagan clergyperson isn\u2019t always as accessible as you\u2019d like them to be.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1129,"featured_media":14029,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[272],"tags":[2446,4,2449,5,2452],"class_list":["post-14026","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-community-2","tag-clergy","tag-pagan","tag-pagan-clergy","tag-paganism","tag-pastoral-care"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Limits of Accessibility for Pagan Clergy<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How accessible should Pagan clergy be? 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