{"id":149,"date":"2012-02-18T11:54:00","date_gmt":"2012-02-18T11:54:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2012\/02\/heathen-women-and-my-christian-mother\/"},"modified":"2012-02-18T11:54:00","modified_gmt":"2012-02-18T11:54:00","slug":"heathen-women-and-my-christian-mother","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2012\/02\/heathen-women-and-my-christian-mother.html","title":{"rendered":"Heathen Women and My Christian Mother"},"content":{"rendered":"<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><head><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/head><body><p>Our mothers are our first and most important teachers.  <\/p>\n<p>Stephen T. Abell has a new essay on his \u201cLetters from Midgard\u201d blog on Patheos titled \u201c<a href=\"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/Resources\/Additional-Resources\/Thinking-of-Heathen-Women-Steven-Abell-02-16-2012.html\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\">Thinking of Heathen Women.<\/a>\u201d  The subtitle is \u201cthe perspective can challenge the unprepared.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Heathenry \u2013 the recreation of Norse and Germanic beliefs and practices \u2013 is different from most other Pagan religions, to the point that many Heathens don\u2019t consider themselves Pagans.  Heathens place strong emphasis on the bonds of family and tribe and on individuals\u2019 obligations to their kin.  They tend to be politically and socially conservative, as exemplified by <a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Dan_Halloran\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow\">Dan Halloran<\/a>, a New York City Councilman who is a Theodisman and a Republican.  <\/p>\n<p>So while Wicca and other Pagan traditions tend to have a liberal feminist flavor, Heathenry \u2013 for the most part \u2013 does not.  This can fire up debates on the role of women in Heathen societies, which Abell addresses in his essay.  He points to the goddesses of the Norse pantheon, some of whom take \u201ctraditional\u201d women\u2019s roles and some who do not.  Abell says \u201cAll are women to respect, value, and admire. None are for trifling with.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>What I find most interesting is Abell\u2019s story of his mother, who was a speech pathologist.  He makes it clear that she set a good, strong example for him of what women were supposed to be:  \u201cintelligent and capable.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And this brings me to a story of my own mother and one of the most important things she taught me, even though I think it\u2019s unlikely that was her intention.<\/p>\n<p>My father (who died in 2000) and my mother (who recently turned 81) were in many ways a typical couple for their time.  My father was the primary breadwinner, while my mother kept the house and took care of the children.  She worked part time as an airbrush artist, doing portrait reproductions in the pre-Photoshop era.  <\/p>\n<p>My mother also took care of the family finances.  My father would sign his paycheck over to her, she\u2019d deposit it in the bank, pay the bills, do the shopping, figure out how much she could save for Christmas or for emergencies, and generally make sure we stayed in the black.  One of my most frequent memories from childhood is watching my mother sitting at the kitchen table with the checkbook and a stack of bills, making sure everything got paid and figuring out what was left to spend.  We were not poor, but we were a lot closer to poor than to rich.  I always had everything I needed and not a lot else.<\/p>\n<p>Though we never had any formal lessons, watching my mother taught me how to manage money.  <\/p>\n<p>Then one day, some time in the late 1960s or early 1970s, the small Baptist church we attended needed a treasurer.  I knew what the church treasurer did.  This was an independent church operating under congregational polity \u2013 we had business meetings once a month where the treasurer gave his report of income and expenses.  The treasurer did for the church exactly what my mother did for our family.  And so, being young and idealistic (and na\u00efve) about leadership roles, I told my mother \u201cyou should be the new church treasurer.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>My mother laughed.  And it wasn\u2019t  a funny laugh.<\/p>\n<p>When I asked why, she said \u201cthe men of that church wouldn\u2019t let a woman handle their money.\u201d  <\/p>\n<p>I was confused \u2013 I genuinely didn\u2019t understand.  What did gender have to do with managing money?  I knew there were two things involved with managing money.  One was being responsible, and I knew my mother was responsible, because I saw her taking care of the bills (and everything else) week after week after week.  The other thing was having some basic math skills.  I was very good at math, but I knew most of the other kids who were good at math were girls.  Clearly, gender had nothing to do with this.<\/p>\n<p>The more I thought about it the madder I got.  <\/p>\n<p>As a rational person (from birth, if the other stories my mother tells are true) it made no sense that gender should be a barrier to a leadership role.  Beyond that, this was <i>my mother <\/i>they were rejecting \u2013 how dare they assume my mother wasn\u2019t good enough to manage the church finances?!<\/p>\n<p>It offended me rationally and it offended me emotionally .  <\/p>\n<p>I didn\u2019t understand the significance of that incident until many years later.  I started becoming aware of the wider world in the early 1970s, at the height of the Women\u2019s Movement.  My mother didn\u2019t say much about the Women\u2019s Movement beyond a general agreement with their goals.  She was too busy taking care of me and my brothers and the house and the finances and everything else involved with ordinary life.<\/p>\n<p>But every time some man told a woman \u201cyou can\u2019t play sports\u201d or \u201cyou can\u2019t run for office\u201d or \u201cyou can\u2019t be a minister\u201d or \u201cyou can\u2019t fight for your country\u201d or any of the many \u201cyou can\u2019ts\u201d I heard in that era, I flashed back to the men of that church rejecting my mother and I got mad all over again.<\/p>\n<p>Things have changed a lot in the past 40 years.  Most doors are now open to all and society has begun to learn what I intuitively knew as a small child \u2013 gender is no barrier to any role that doesn\u2019t require the raw size and strength of a professional football player.  Women fill an increasing number of senior leadership roles in business and government, and a woman in such a role is rarely a big deal any more.<\/p>\n<p>Yet we still see examples of patriarchal thinking, as with this week\u2019s all-male Congressional hearings on contraception.  We see women struggling for basic rights in many parts of the world.  <\/p>\n<p>And that still makes me mad.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Our mothers are our first and most important teachers. Stephen T. Abell has a new essay on his \u201cLetters from Midgard\u201d blog on Patheos titled \u201cThinking of Heathen Women.\u201d The subtitle is \u201cthe perspective can challenge the unprepared.\u201d Heathenry \u2013 the recreation of Norse and Germanic beliefs and practices \u2013 is different from most other [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1129,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-149","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Heathen Women and My Christian Mother<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Our mothers are our first and most important teachers. Stephen T. 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