{"id":14934,"date":"2019-07-09T03:00:41","date_gmt":"2019-07-09T09:00:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/?p=14934"},"modified":"2019-07-02T18:09:42","modified_gmt":"2019-07-03T00:09:42","slug":"do-first-then-write-why-my-compulsive-schedule-keeping-has-to-go","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2019\/07\/do-first-then-write-why-my-compulsive-schedule-keeping-has-to-go.html","title":{"rendered":"Do First, Then Write \u2013 Why My Compulsive Schedule-Keeping Has To Go"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

One of the keys to building a successful blog is posting on a regular basis. You can do it posting once a week, but more is better. Over the years I\u2019ve settled into a Sunday-Tuesday-Thursday routine that I maintain 48 to 50 weeks a year.<\/p>\n

The difficulty with that is that the Awen \u2013 wisdom and inspiration \u2013 doesn\u2019t flow on a consistent basis. You rarely see it, because I try to write ahead when things are going well so I don\u2019t have gaps when they aren\u2019t \u2013 or when I\u2019m just not available to write. But lately the Awen hasn\u2019t been flowing at all.<\/p>\n

Last year I wrote Paganism in the Dry Season<\/a>, about<\/p>\n

when you want to keep moving but it\u2019s hard and joyless. The vision of a better world and a deeper practice is obscured by smoke and haze. When you\u2019re hungry but nothing sounds good, when the joy of summer has turned into the monotony of oppressive heat. Pick your metaphor \u2013 this is the time when it\u2019s not fun to be a Pagan.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

This isn\u2019t that, and it\u2019s important to recognize the difference.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

To call my practice busy would be an understatement. Last May was a dry season. Now, it\u2019s a satisfying busy. My daily and weekly spiritual practices keep me supported. I\u2019m enjoying putting the classes together for Paganism In Depth<\/em><\/a>. I\u2019m brushing up my presentations for Mystic South, and condensing one of them into a UU Sunday service. And I\u2019m doing some private work that is both fulfilling and a bit scary.<\/p>\n

My Paganism at the moment is anything but dry. And I\u2019m not overloaded \u2013 I\u2019m getting done what needs to be done. But still, the Awen isn\u2019t flowing. The inspiration for stuff to write about isn\u2019t coming.<\/p>\n

And perhaps coincidentally \u2013 though more likely not \u2013 the deities whose statues sit on my shrine and who look down on my computer desk have been rather quiet.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve had several politically-oriented microblogs on Facebook that were very well read, and that stimulated some good conversation. None of them generated anything resembling a blog-length piece, and in any case I try to keep ordinary partisan politics to a minimum here\u2026 though I will not hesitate to take a strong position when it\u2019s necessary<\/a>. Politics are how we collectively express our highest values and virtues, but I prefer to blog about the values and virtues whenever possible.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

If I want clicks, all I have to do is write about the Morrigan. Every single one of my Morrigan posts<\/a> has done well \u2013 two of them ended up on my Top 10 of 2018<\/a> list last year. The Morrigan is perhaps the most active deity in our contemporary world and people are hungry to learn more about Her. But She has made it very clear to me: I am to write about Her when She has something She wants me to say. If I write about Her to fill a slot, it will not go well for me.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t want to run the risk of offending a Battle Goddess. More seriously, I don\u2019t want to go against the wishes of a deity of who has done so much for me over the years \u2013 our relationship<\/a> is far more important than maintaining my blog schedule.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Last year<\/a> I said \u201csilence isn\u2019t absence\u201d \u2013 that\u2019s important to remember. But what I\u2019m getting right now isn\u2019t silence\u2026 it\u2019s just not inspiration. It\u2019s not new ideas. It\u2019s not topics to write about, or new routes to address existing topics.<\/p>\n

What I\u2019m getting is a quiet reminder to work on the things on my plate that aren\u2019t blog posts. Which I\u2019m doing, but apparently not fast enough.<\/p>\n

There are times when the message I get is \u201cjust keep moving.\u201d Other times it\u2019s \u201cwhy isn\u2019t this done yet?\u201d I don\u2019t seem to get anything in between, though I suspect that\u2019s more a reflection on my listening skills than on what the Gods and spirits in question are actually saying. And now I\u2019m starting to hear \u201cwhy isn\u2019t this done yet?\u201d And also \u201cif you want more inspiration, finish this first.\u201d<\/p>\n

So I\u2019m writing a blog post to explain why I\u2019m having trouble writing blog posts? Yeah, I get the apparent incongruity, and the questionably-healthy compulsion to maintain a schedule no matter what.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

For all that people call me a leader, and for all that I accept and embrace that title, I remain a first and foremost a practitioner<\/a>. I\u2019m not an expert on Paganism. I\u2019m a Pagan who does Paganism and who writes about what he does. And while my goal in writing is to articulate and promote Paganism, I think it is unhelpful for those of us with a public platform to ignore or whitewash our difficulties.<\/p>\n

Because like it or not, Pagans who don\u2019t have a public presence are always going to look at those of us who do. If we pretend that nothing bad ever happens in our lives, that sets a false and impossible example. That makes it easy for people to put us on pedestals, and nothing good ever comes from that<\/a>.<\/p>\n

This isn\u2019t an announcement and it\u2019s not a precursor to an announcement. I have every intention of continuing to blog three times a week for years to come. But it\u2019s become clear there are things more important than the blog. And there are things that need my full attention as I do them now, so I can blog about them later.<\/p>\n

And in some cases, not blog about them. Not everything I do is for public review and discussion.<\/p>\n

As I write this I have nothing on my schedule of things to write about. I\u2019m sure I\u2019ll come up with something to write about before I leave for Mystic South next Thursday. But maybe I won\u2019t. Either way I can\u2019t imagine I\u2019ll come out of the conference without tons of ideas for contemplation and discussion.<\/p>\n

But for now, the message I\u2019m getting is \u201cdo first, then write.\u201d<\/p>\n

And so that\u2019s what I\u2019m going to do.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A very personal and rather rambling post about what it means \u2013 for me \u2013 when the Awen slows but the spiritually-mandated workload is still heavy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1129,"featured_media":14952,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[29,4,5,8,2532],"class_list":["post-14934","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-practice","tag-morrigan","tag-pagan","tag-paganism","tag-polytheism","tag-the-storm"],"yoast_head":"\nDo First, Then Write \u2013 Why My Compulsive Schedule-Keeping Has To Go<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A very personal and rather rambling post about what it means \u2013 for me \u2013 when the Awen slows but the spiritually-mandated workload is still heavy.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" 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