The symposium was scheduled to start at 6:00. At 3:30 the power went out, and with it, the air conditioning.<\/p>\n
In Texas.<\/p>\n
In July.<\/p>\n
The power company estimated restoration at 6:00, so we decided to proceed as planned. Everyone was bringing a dish they had prepared at home and I was cooking mine on the gas grill, so the food was fine. The house is well-insulated and a storm was moving through, cooling the outside air \u2013 we guessed we would be done before it got uncomfortably hot, even if the power didn\u2019t come back. So we lit a few candles and began the symposium.<\/p>\n
In a symposium (or at least, in the ones we hold) any question is fair game. Someone asked what everyone wanted for their funeral (as a way of encouraging us to think about these things<\/a> ahead of time). I asked for everyone\u2019s definition of magic. Toward the end of the evening, someone asked us to name a song that always inspires or moves us.<\/p>\n And all of that is the prelude to what I want to write about today.<\/p>\n I can\u2019t sing and I can\u2019t play an instrument, but I love music. I like to think I have a good ear for it and especially for picking music to accompany a ritual<\/a>, but that\u2019s for someone else to decide. What I know is for as far back as I can remember, music has helped me get through difficult times. Rousing anthems make me feel strong even when I\u2019m not. Songs of rebellion and defiance remind me that I have every right to live my life the way I see fit, not according to anyone else\u2019s dictates. Classical music makes me feel like I own a castle, even when I was listening to it in my tiny bedroom in my parents\u2019 house.<\/p>\n It doesn\u2019t matter if the songs are cheesy, if I\u2019m taking them out of context, or if they\u2019re sung by someone\u00a0 who\u2019s done bad things. If the music moves me I\u2019ll listen over and over again. I\u2019m not going to dance (my dancing is even worse than my singing) but I am going to let the music wash over me, seep into my body, and find that empty spot in my soul.<\/p>\n But what happens when you put dark music in an already-dark spot?<\/p>\n I\u2019ve never been comfortable calling myself a goth. I\u2019ve always had a fondness (some would say an obsession) for classic horror books and movies, especially if they include vampires. I preferred to wear black as far back as kindergarten. But so much of goth culture is centered around elaborate fashion and makeup. I don\u2019t like calling attention to myself like that. I only started wearing Doc Martens a few years ago, because I\u2019m getting old and they\u2019re very supportive when I\u2019m on my feet for long periods of time.<\/p>\n Plus I\u2019m kinda lazy when it comes to clothes. And did I mention Texas summers? The summers in Tennessee where I grew up aren\u2019t much better. Neither are conducive to wearing clothes designed for Europe during the last years of the Little Ice Age.<\/p>\n My tastes in goth music are somewhat narrow. Also, I\u2019m not interested in debating the boundaries of post-punk, deathrock, goth rock, new wave, darkwave, and all the other related sub-genres. I like what I like, and if you like something else, that\u2019s fine.<\/p>\n I like Siouxsie and the Banshees. Along with every other goth in the world I adore \u201cBela Lugosi\u2019s Dead,\u201d but most of Bauhaus is too harsh for my tastes. I like much of Joy Division, though I like New Order better even though they aren\u2019t goth by anybody\u2019s standards. I\u2019m not stuck in the 80s \u2013 I love The Eden House, especially the songs with Monica Richards on vocals. But my absolute favorite, first and last and always, is The Sisters of Mercy.<\/p>\n I will not dissect or defend their music here. Much of it sounds rather dated, especially the songs that feature a saxophone. Their videos are way over the top\u2026 though if I ever get to go to Petra, I\u2019m packing a white suit. While some of the lyrics are brilliant, others are\u2026 not.<\/p>\n And I. Don\u2019t. Care.<\/p>\n When my friend asked for a song that always inspires or moves me, I didn\u2019t have to think. When my turn to answer came, I said \u201cThis Corrosion\u201d by The Sisters of Mercy.<\/p>\n Over the past 30 years, it\u2019s been the song I play when it\u2019s been a horrible day at work, when stress gets too high, when pretending to be a productive member of mainstream society is just too much. I\u2019ve shared it to Facebook a time or two, but I\u2019ve stopped doing it because most people don\u2019t know what to make if it, or of me when I play it. The Sisters of Mercy is my private indulgence.<\/p>\n But here\u2019s the thing: it doesn\u2019t make me feel better. It doesn\u2019t give me strength to keep up with the mainstream masquerade. It doesn\u2019t inspire me to find new and imaginative ways to be a pirate<\/a>. It doesn\u2019t even remind me that my true calling is to be a Druid and a priest and the mainstream stuff doesn\u2019t really matter.<\/p>\n It just pours dark music into an already-dark spot.<\/p>\n And I love it anyway.<\/p>\n There near the end of the symposium I think I had just the right amount of wine to finally make the connection. Goth music and culture in general, The Sisters of Mercy in particular, and \u201cThis Corrosion\u201d especially \u2013 they don\u2019t make things better. They don\u2019t tell you things are going to get better. They\u2019re honest \u2013 they admit things are bad and they\u2019re going to stay bad for a long time.<\/p>\n They just make things beautiful.<\/p>\n And luxuriating in beauty always makes things better, even if only for a short while.<\/p>\n The electricity came back on about 7:30. We turned the lights on, but we left the candles burning. It never got terribly hot in the house, and I slept comfortably cool after everyone went home.<\/p>\n And none of that is the point of this post. This was a minor, very short-term inconvenience.<\/p>\n Our world is changing. The climate is changing. The political environment is changing. Perhaps most importantly, the metaphysics of our world are changing<\/a>. Most of those changes are not for the better, they are not short-term, and they will be \u2013 and in some cases already are \u2013 far more than inconveniences.<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/243\/2019\/07\/purple-candle-4556b.jpg\")
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