{"id":166,"date":"2012-01-10T18:57:00","date_gmt":"2012-01-10T18:57:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2012\/01\/fifty\/"},"modified":"2012-01-10T18:57:00","modified_gmt":"2012-01-10T18:57:00","slug":"fifty","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2012\/01\/fifty.html","title":{"rendered":"Fifty"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

I turned 50 today. There\u2019s a solidity to that number, a reality that\u2019s impossible to deny. Maybe that\u2019s because fifty is half a hundred. Maybe that\u2019s because five uses up all the fingers on one hand. Maybe that\u2019s because five is a troublesome number in the Tarot. Maybe something else.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

When I turned 40 I wrote in my journal<\/a> \u201cI still don\u2019t think of myself in a significantly different way than I did when I was 22.\u201d At 50, injuries and weight gain have stopped my running, I take daily medication for acid reflux, I need glasses to read, my beard is mostly white and the hairline that started receding in my late 20s is now racing backward. <\/p>\n

I can\u2019t kid myself any more \u2013 I\u2019m getting old. Oh, I can still do almost anything I want, but not as fast or for as long, and recovering takes longer. Sometimes a lot longer. There are a few things on my \u201cbucket list\u201d I need to do soon, before age diminishes my capabilities too much further. The youthful illusion of immortality is pretty much gone.<\/p>\n

But when I move beyond physical aging there is much to like about 50. Ten years ago I was still trying to find a path \u2013 today I\u2019m well down that path<\/a> with a firm direction for the future. Ten years ago I had figured out that more stuff wouldn\u2019t make me happy but I didn\u2019t know what would \u2013 today I do<\/a>. Ten years ago Cathy was pretty much my only friend in Texas \u2013 today I\u2019m part of a growing community that shares my values<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Part of me wishes I had gotten here sooner. But one of the benefits of being 50 is the wisdom to realize that I had to go through what I went through to get from where I was to where I am. And I firmly expect that experience will serve me well as I move on towards 60, 70, and beyond. I know my path \u2013 I don\u2019t know where it will lead or what I will encounter on the way.<\/p>\n

To my family of blood: you gave me my start and you instilled in me the resilience that keeps me going through difficult times. Thank you.<\/p>\n

To my family of choice: you make the bad times bearable and the good times worth it all. Thank you.<\/p>\n

To my family of spirit: you have shown the little boy who couldn\u2019t believe what he was told he had to believe that there are many paths and on this one there is learning and integrity and depth and love. Thank you.<\/p>\n

To Cathy: you hold me close but you never hold me back. I love you and I thank you.<\/p>\n

It hasn\u2019t been easy and it certainly hasn\u2019t been perfect, but it\u2019s been a good fifty years. <\/p>\n

Here\u2019s to the next fifty.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I turned 50 today. There\u2019s a solidity to that number, a reality that\u2019s impossible to deny. Maybe that\u2019s because fifty is half a hundred. Maybe that\u2019s because five uses up all the fingers on one hand. Maybe that\u2019s because five is a troublesome number in the Tarot. Maybe something else. When I turned 40 I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1129,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-166","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nFifty<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I turned 50 today. There\u2019s a solidity to that number, a reality that\u2019s impossible to deny. Maybe that\u2019s because fifty is half a hundred. Maybe that\u2019s\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2012\/01\/fifty.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Fifty\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I turned 50 today. There\u2019s a solidity to that number, a reality that\u2019s impossible to deny. Maybe that\u2019s because fifty is half a hundred. Maybe that\u2019s\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2012\/01\/fifty.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"John Beckett\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-01-10T18:57:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"John Beckett\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"John Beckett\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2012\/01\/fifty.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2012\/01\/fifty.html\",\"name\":\"Fifty\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2012-01-10T18:57:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2012-01-10T18:57:00+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/#\/schema\/person\/b4c8980dc36f971434424c304ca429ad\"},\"description\":\"I turned 50 today. There\u2019s a solidity to that number, a reality that\u2019s impossible to deny. Maybe that\u2019s because fifty is half a hundred. Maybe that\u2019s\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2012\/01\/fifty.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2012\/01\/fifty.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2012\/01\/fifty.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Fifty\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/\",\"name\":\"John Beckett\",\"description\":\"Musings of a Druid, Pagan, and Unitarian Universalist.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/#\/schema\/person\/b4c8980dc36f971434424c304ca429ad\",\"name\":\"John Beckett\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0f50bfa2a79f70103847fe75540bb29c?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0f50bfa2a79f70103847fe75540bb29c?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"John Beckett\"},\"description\":\"I grew up in Tennessee with the woods right outside my back door. Wandering through them gave me a sense of connection to Nature and to a certain Forest God. I\u2019m a Druid graduate of the Order of Bards, Ovates and Druids, the Coordinating Officer of the Denton Covenant of Unitarian Universalist Pagans and a former Vice President of CUUPS Continental. I\u2019ve been writing, speaking, teaching, and leading public rituals for the past eleven years. I live in the Dallas \u2013 Fort Worth area and I earn my keep as an engineer.\",\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/author\/johnbeckett\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Fifty","description":"I turned 50 today. There\u2019s a solidity to that number, a reality that\u2019s impossible to deny. Maybe that\u2019s because fifty is half a hundred. Maybe that\u2019s","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2012\/01\/fifty.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Fifty","og_description":"I turned 50 today. There\u2019s a solidity to that number, a reality that\u2019s impossible to deny. Maybe that\u2019s because fifty is half a hundred. Maybe that\u2019s","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2012\/01\/fifty.html","og_site_name":"John Beckett","article_published_time":"2012-01-10T18:57:00+00:00","author":"John Beckett","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"John Beckett","Est. reading time":"2 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2012\/01\/fifty.html","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2012\/01\/fifty.html","name":"Fifty","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/#website"},"datePublished":"2012-01-10T18:57:00+00:00","dateModified":"2012-01-10T18:57:00+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/#\/schema\/person\/b4c8980dc36f971434424c304ca429ad"},"description":"I turned 50 today. There\u2019s a solidity to that number, a reality that\u2019s impossible to deny. Maybe that\u2019s because fifty is half a hundred. Maybe that\u2019s","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2012\/01\/fifty.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2012\/01\/fifty.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2012\/01\/fifty.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Fifty"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/","name":"John Beckett","description":"Musings of a Druid, Pagan, and Unitarian Universalist.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/#\/schema\/person\/b4c8980dc36f971434424c304ca429ad","name":"John Beckett","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0f50bfa2a79f70103847fe75540bb29c?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0f50bfa2a79f70103847fe75540bb29c?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"John Beckett"},"description":"I grew up in Tennessee with the woods right outside my back door. Wandering through them gave me a sense of connection to Nature and to a certain Forest God. I\u2019m a Druid graduate of the Order of Bards, Ovates and Druids, the Coordinating Officer of the Denton Covenant of Unitarian Universalist Pagans and a former Vice President of CUUPS Continental. I\u2019ve been writing, speaking, teaching, and leading public rituals for the past eleven years. I live in the Dallas \u2013 Fort Worth area and I earn my keep as an engineer.","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/"],"url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/author\/johnbeckett"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/166","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1129"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=166"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/166\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=166"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=166"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=166"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}