The second half of the question is where the problems begin: \u201cif you had followed your childhood dreams?\u201d It implies there was something deeply important your first occupational desires. It doesn\u2019t call them wants<\/em> \u2013 it calls them dreams<\/em>.<\/p>\n We have a million wants every day. And they\u2019re important. Most of them stem from our basic needs: food, clothing, and shelter. Companionship, relationship, and sex. Amusement and intellectual stimulation. Though all too often, they come from the manipulations of the advertising industry.<\/p>\n Dreams are\u2026 more. They\u2019re not whims and they\u2019re not even basic needs. Dreams come from the depths of our souls. They\u2019re part of who and what we are \u2013 they\u2019re part of our identity. They\u2019re what we keep working for year after year. If we\u2019re forced to abandon them it\u2019s a tragedy.<\/p>\n So as it\u2019s phrased, this meme implies that you did yourself a disservice by not \u201cfollowing your childhood dreams\u201d for a paying career. And that\u2019s a problem.<\/p>\n In fairness, most people answered the question in a straightforward manner that indicated they didn\u2019t give it a second thought. But I have to wonder if the question didn\u2019t linger with them, perhaps generating a twinge of regret\u2026 or more than a twinge.<\/p>\n As always in matters like these, I\u2019m a Druid, not a life coach. My education is in engineering and business, not psychology. I can\u2019t tell you what you should do. I can only tell you what I\u2019ve done, what I haven\u2019t done, and what I learned from all of it.<\/p>\n I wanted to be everything I saw that looked interesting. I wanted to be a football player, a baseball player, a policeman, and the captain of an aircraft carrier. I wanted to be a scientist, a congressman, and a history professor. I wanted to be a minister \u2013 I just wasn\u2019t sure which kind. I grew up Baptist but I knew I didn\u2019t want to be a Baptist preacher. I was fascinated with the Catholic priesthood, but I knew that whole poverty and celibacy thing wasn\u2019t for me.<\/p>\n Funny how that worked out<\/a>\u2026<\/p>\n While a few of us know exactly what we want to be and do from an early age, I think most of us do this, or something like it. We try these occupations on in play and see how they feel. They\u2019re not dreams \u2013 they\u2019re not even wants. They\u2019re possibilities.<\/p>\n The first thing I seriously considered becoming was a lawyer. I saw plenty of lawyers on TV. They were smart, they helped people in difficult situations, and they made a lot of money. It seemed like a good career. I checked books out of the school library on law and courts and such.<\/p>\n But at some point, my research turned up the reality of the law profession. The best graduates from the best schools make ridiculous amounts of money. Others scramble for whatever jobs they can find. Successful lawyers work ridiculous hours.<\/p>\n And then there\u2019s the whole matter of \u201cthe law is the law.\u201d I\u2019ve always been more concerned with the ends than the means, more concerned with the spirit of justice than with the letter of the law.<\/p>\n Care to guess my opinion of originalism<\/a>?<\/p>\n I tried on a career in law and I didn\u2019t like the way it fit. So I kept looking.<\/p>\n In the 7th<\/sup> grade I had a class that was a series of 6-week mini-classes. The only one I remember for sure was the class on careers. It was there that I discovered engineering. I found that you needed to be good in math and science, and I was. It didn\u2019t pay as well as being a hot-shot lawyer, but it paid enough, and employment prospects were very good. I decided engineering was the career for me.<\/p>\n Even within that broad field, there was still some more trying on. First I wanted to be a civil engineer, because I wanted to build bridges. But I didn\u2019t like the project-based employment variations, so I started out majoring in mechanical engineering \u2013 I wanted to design cars. Then in college I ran head-first into class called Transport Phenomena \u2013 it was basically heat transfer at the molecular level. It was the only class I ever failed in my life. There was more going on than this (there\u2019s never only one thing) but that convinced me to change my major to industrial engineering.<\/p>\n That\u2019s worked out well. In my late 20s I went back to school for an MBA. That degree took me a year longer than a masters in industrial engineering would have, but I thought it would be more versatile for the future. We\u2019ll never know how the other path might have worked out, but again, this one has worked out well.<\/p>\n Here\u2019s why the meme question bothered me so much. First, it implied that your occupation really should be what you thought you wanted as a child, which ignores the necessity of the trying-on process \u2013 a process that continued well into adulthood for me, and I think, for most people.<\/p>\n More than that, by calling it a dream it elevates the choice of occupation to a matter of great importance. For some of us \u2013 especially those who really did know exactly what they wanted to be and do when they were kids \u2013 it is. For most of us, though \u2013 including those of us who build \u201cprofessional\u201d careers \u2013 they\u2019re simply a way to make a living.<\/p>\n It took me three layoff notices and resulting cross-country moves to figure out that I was never going to find my identity in my paying job.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve written about this numerous times over the years and I\u2019m not going to tell that story again. I will say that if you feel regrets because of a career choice \u2013 or pretty much any other choice \u2013 be honest with yourself \u2013 compassionately honest<\/a>.<\/p>\n If after much meditation and contemplation you\u2019re convinced your first dream really was a dream and that\u2019s really who and what you need to be, then go for it. It\u2019s rarely too late.<\/p>\n But it\u2019s unlikely that going back and chasing the first career or occupation you tried on is a good idea. If it didn\u2019t fit then, it probably doesn\u2019t fit now. And while I\u2019m always in favor of people doing what it takes to make themselves ready for a better job, a better job is still a job. It\u2019s not your identity \u2013 it\u2019s not your life\u2019s work.<\/p>\n We live in a time of unprecedented change: technology, society, economics, politics, the environment\u2026 And regardless of how today\u2019s election plays out, this rapid change will continue. A Biden victory will not take us back to the Obama years. A Trump victory won\u2019t take us back to the 1950s \u2013 or the 1890s \u2013 but it will take us places I don\u2019t want to go. In either case we need to be prepared to move forward.<\/p>\n And here\u2019s the good news \u2013 you can still try things on and see how they fit, whether you\u2019re talking about your paying job, your spiritual journey, your relationships, or anything else. It might be a little awkward playing dress-up at age 35 or 45 or 65 (or then again, maybe not), but you can still read, study, and do research. Talk to people who are doing what you think you might want to do. Let your imagination wander into what might be. Do divination<\/a> and see what things will look and feel like if you take this path or that.<\/p>\n You have skills and experiences you didn\u2019t have when you were a child \u2013 how can you build on them? What can you do that will help make the world a better place \u2013 and bring you fulfillment in the process?<\/p>\n Maybe you can get paid for doing it. Maybe you\u2019ve still got to make a living with an ordinary job so you can pursue your true calling in your off hours. That\u2019s harder \u2013 I\u2019m looking forward to being a full-time Druid after I retire (hopefully!) in more-than-a-few more years.<\/p>\n![\"the](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/243\/2020\/10\/0926-200-Caprock-Canyon.jpg\")
<\/a>Trying on careers to see how they fit<\/h2>\n
Finding a path<\/h2>\n
<\/a><\/p>\nMaking a living but not a life<\/h2>\n
Your journey leads forward, not backward<\/h2>\n
<\/a>Build on what you have, toward what you want<\/h2>\n