{"id":241,"date":"2011-07-12T21:52:00","date_gmt":"2011-07-12T21:52:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2011\/07\/to-keep-silent\/"},"modified":"2011-07-12T21:52:00","modified_gmt":"2011-07-12T21:52:00","slug":"to-keep-silent","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2011\/07\/to-keep-silent.html","title":{"rendered":"To Keep Silent?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

How much of our religion should we share? When should we talk about our spiritual practices and when should we keep silent? What is helpful to discuss and what is not?<\/p>\n

Via Chas Clifton\u2019s Letter From Hardscrabble Creek<\/i><\/a> comes this from Sarah Lawless, the \u201cWitch of Forest Grove\u201d who complains about \u201cOversharing Witches<\/a>.\u201d Recalling a recent dinner discussion with other Pagans, she says:<\/p>\n

We were all flabbergasted by oversharing witches who feel the need to tell everyone who their gods are, what their totems are, and what tradition they are. I was taught not to share \u2026 to only talk about my tradition when asked \u2026 and never say more than the absolute least I possibly can.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

In fairness to Sarah, it should be emphasized she\u2019s a witch and witchcraft has a long tradition of secrecy. Even if some of that tradition is much newer than originally thought, witchcraft was illegal in Britain until 1951 and the last prosecution was in 1944. There are still plenty of people who think what we do isn\u2019t a \u201creal\u201d religion deserving of legal recognition and protection \u2013 and by \u201cwe\u201d I mean anyone who isn\u2019t a Christian or maybe a Jew.<\/p>\n

By contrast, Druidry has always been a public path \u2013 and by \u201calways\u201d I mean since the Druid revival began in the early 18th century. Of course, most of the early revival Druid organizations were cultural or fraternal orders and not religious or magical groups \u2013 they had less to fear from being open than did the witches.<\/p>\n

Regardless of tradition, though, Sarah\u2019s complaints are completely legitimate \u2013 oversharing is a symptom of \u201clook at me\u201d syndrome that is too common in Pagan circles. Beyond that there are some things which are simply too sacred to share with people who either don\u2019t understand them or who haven\u2019t experienced them for themselves. And magic works better when you do it, release it, and then let it work in its own way. I could offer some pseudo-psychological rationalization for why that is, but I prefer to simply say \u201cthat\u2019s the way magic works!\u201d<\/p>\n

In the wider world we see many people with an attitude of \u201ckeep your religion to yourself.\u201d Again, this is understandable \u2013 we\u2019ve all been accosted by Jehovah\u2019s Witnesses, had friends or relatives who insisted we needed to convert to their religion, or had to deal with politicians who want to make their religion the law of the land. We don\u2019t want to be \u201cthose people.\u201d Plus few of us are knowledgeable enough and confident enough to be able to articulate our beliefs and practices in a way that really comes off well \u2013 and that applies to garden-variety UUs as well as to those of us whose practices are a bit more esoteric.<\/p>\n

But taking \u201ckeep silent\u201d to extremes has costs. When we stay in the broom closet (or, in some environments, the \u201cliberal closet\u201d) we deprive others of a chance to connect an unknown and maybe mysterious practice with a real person they already know and respect. Most of us know people who used to be homophobic bigots until a close friend or relative came out. \u201cThe Other\u201d is scary \u2013 the nice guy or girl in the cubicle down the hall isn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

Beyond that, those of us who have some experience have an obligation to help newcomers<\/a>. That means answering questions in as much detail as the newcomer can appreciate. And it means being \u201cout\u201d enough (or at least, \u201cout\u201d in the right settings) that the newcomers know we\u2019re here and available.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re looking for a black and white answer you\u2019re on the wrong blog. There are times to keep silent and times to preach from the rooftops. There are times to guard your traditions carefully and times to explain them in the most minute detail. There are times to hold a ritual at noon in a city park<\/a> and times to hold a ritual in your living room with the curtains closed and the doors locked. <\/p>\n

With practice and mindfulness \u2013 and a few social skills \u2013 you\u2019ll know which is which.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

How much of our religion should we share? When should we talk about our spiritual practices and when should we keep silent? What is helpful to discuss and what is not? Via Chas Clifton\u2019s Letter From Hardscrabble Creek comes this from Sarah Lawless, the \u201cWitch of Forest Grove\u201d who complains about \u201cOversharing Witches.\u201d Recalling a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1129,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-241","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nTo Keep Silent?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How much of our religion should we share? When should we talk about our spiritual practices and when should we keep silent? What is helpful to discuss and\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2011\/07\/to-keep-silent.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"To Keep Silent?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"How much of our religion should we share? When should we talk about our spiritual practices and when should we keep silent? What is helpful to discuss and\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2011\/07\/to-keep-silent.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"John Beckett\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-07-12T21:52:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"John Beckett\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"John Beckett\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2011\/07\/to-keep-silent.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2011\/07\/to-keep-silent.html\",\"name\":\"To Keep Silent?\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2011-07-12T21:52:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2011-07-12T21:52:00+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/#\/schema\/person\/b4c8980dc36f971434424c304ca429ad\"},\"description\":\"How much of our religion should we share? When should we talk about our spiritual practices and when should we keep silent? What is helpful to discuss and\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2011\/07\/to-keep-silent.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2011\/07\/to-keep-silent.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2011\/07\/to-keep-silent.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"To Keep Silent?\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/\",\"name\":\"John Beckett\",\"description\":\"Musings of a Druid, Pagan, and Unitarian Universalist.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/#\/schema\/person\/b4c8980dc36f971434424c304ca429ad\",\"name\":\"John Beckett\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0f50bfa2a79f70103847fe75540bb29c?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0f50bfa2a79f70103847fe75540bb29c?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"John Beckett\"},\"description\":\"I grew up in Tennessee with the woods right outside my back door. Wandering through them gave me a sense of connection to Nature and to a certain Forest God. I\u2019m a Druid graduate of the Order of Bards, Ovates and Druids, the Coordinating Officer of the Denton Covenant of Unitarian Universalist Pagans and a former Vice President of CUUPS Continental. I\u2019ve been writing, speaking, teaching, and leading public rituals for the past eleven years. I live in the Dallas \u2013 Fort Worth area and I earn my keep as an engineer.\",\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/author\/johnbeckett\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"To Keep Silent?","description":"How much of our religion should we share? When should we talk about our spiritual practices and when should we keep silent? What is helpful to discuss and","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2011\/07\/to-keep-silent.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"To Keep Silent?","og_description":"How much of our religion should we share? When should we talk about our spiritual practices and when should we keep silent? What is helpful to discuss and","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2011\/07\/to-keep-silent.html","og_site_name":"John Beckett","article_published_time":"2011-07-12T21:52:00+00:00","author":"John Beckett","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"John Beckett","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2011\/07\/to-keep-silent.html","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2011\/07\/to-keep-silent.html","name":"To Keep Silent?","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/#website"},"datePublished":"2011-07-12T21:52:00+00:00","dateModified":"2011-07-12T21:52:00+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/#\/schema\/person\/b4c8980dc36f971434424c304ca429ad"},"description":"How much of our religion should we share? When should we talk about our spiritual practices and when should we keep silent? What is helpful to discuss and","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2011\/07\/to-keep-silent.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2011\/07\/to-keep-silent.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2011\/07\/to-keep-silent.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"To Keep Silent?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/","name":"John Beckett","description":"Musings of a Druid, Pagan, and Unitarian Universalist.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/#\/schema\/person\/b4c8980dc36f971434424c304ca429ad","name":"John Beckett","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0f50bfa2a79f70103847fe75540bb29c?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/0f50bfa2a79f70103847fe75540bb29c?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"John Beckett"},"description":"I grew up in Tennessee with the woods right outside my back door. Wandering through them gave me a sense of connection to Nature and to a certain Forest God. I\u2019m a Druid graduate of the Order of Bards, Ovates and Druids, the Coordinating Officer of the Denton Covenant of Unitarian Universalist Pagans and a former Vice President of CUUPS Continental. I\u2019ve been writing, speaking, teaching, and leading public rituals for the past eleven years. I live in the Dallas \u2013 Fort Worth area and I earn my keep as an engineer.","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/"],"url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/author\/johnbeckett"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/241","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1129"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=241"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/241\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=241"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=241"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=241"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}