I\u2019m well aware of how our wider society misuses the term \u201ctriggered.\u201d But it\u2019s no exaggeration when I say this post was triggering for me, in the sense of \u201creliving trauma all over again.\u201d<\/p>\n
My family did not take a lot of vacations when I was growing up. We weren\u2019t wealthy by any stretch of the imagination, my father had a large hobby farm that demanded daily attention, and he didn\u2019t see the value in travel for the sake of travel. The few trips we took were almost always to visit relatives.<\/p>\n
I remember packing for one trip and my father insisting that I bring a Bible. Now, I did read the Bible occasionally growing up. I was trying to be a good Christian, and I was curious as to what it actually said. But the next to last thing I wanted to do on vacation was to read the Bible. He insisted. So I packed it. And then never opened it.<\/p>\n
That was the next to last thing I wanted to do. The last thing I wanted to do was to go to church. We were rarely away from home on Sundays, but the few times we were, my father found a church for us to go to. And not a historically relevant church or a church with a different liturgy or worship style that would have been educational. No, he picked something as close to the small, independent fundamentalist Baptist church we attended at home as he could find.<\/p>\n
It was\u2026 not fun. Reading this blog post reminded me of just how not fun it was.<\/p>\n
And yet\u2026<\/p>\n Here I am, all these years later, and much of my travel is religious in nature. My trips to England, Ireland, Scotland, and Wales were vacations, but they all had an element of pilgrimage<\/a> to them. I\u2019ve had strong religious experiences on these trips, especially in Orkney in 2016<\/a>.<\/p>\n In 2013 I did the last thing I wanted to do as a kid \u2013 I went to church on vacation. My wife and I were in Boston \u2013 we attended services at First Parish Cambridge, a UU church founded in 1633. I didn\u2019t feel the need to \u201cgo to church\u201d but I wanted the experience of worshipping in a place where people have worshipped continuously for almost 400 years.<\/p>\n In 2018 I was in Wales at the Spring Equinox, and I \u2013 along with the rest of my mostly-Pagan traveling party \u2013 joined the Anglesey Druid Order for their celebration\u2026 outdoors, on a very un-Spring-like cold day.<\/p>\n Perhaps more importantly, the Gods to whom I make weekly offerings have made it clear I don\u2019t get a vacation<\/a> from that obligation. Allowances and variances are sometimes made, but not making the weekly offerings is simply not an option. Neither is skipping one of my four daily prayers.<\/p>\n My wife occasionally says I ended up more like my father than I want to admit. In some ways I am like him. In other ways, I\u2019m critically different. That\u2019s another topic for another time.<\/p>\n The topic for this time is what wisdom can be extracted from the tension between my traumatic childhood experiences and my deeply meaningful adult experiences of religion and spirituality while on vacation.<\/p>\n I remember the first time I was on vacation after the Morrigan let me know She wanted weekly offerings. I didn\u2019t really think about it until the usual time came up. I told myself I was on vacation, and besides, it was raining. I heard loudly and clearly \u201cI asked for offerings every week. You have a bottle of wine and a covered porch.\u201d And so I made the usual offerings.<\/p>\n If you\u2019ve made a commitment then keep it. If you promised daily prayers or weekly offerings or meditations at every full moon, then do them no matter where you are.<\/p>\n If your commitment was less specific, or if it\u2019s not a commitment so much as it\u2019s just what you do, then use your best judgment.<\/p>\n But keep your promises, even if you have to adjust your plans so you can.<\/p>\n I don\u2019t have children and I do my best to not tell other people how to raise theirs. But I was a child once, and I have a long memory. You have the right \u2013 and arguably, the obligation \u2013 to introduce your children to your religious tradition. But as they begin to grow up, either they embrace that tradition willingly or they don\u2019t. If they don\u2019t, your primary obligation is to support them as they find what\u2019s right for them.<\/p>\n And remember that just being in some religious traditions<\/a> is child abuse.<\/p>\n My wife is not Pagan, but what\u2019s religiously significant for me is usually historically significant for her \u2013 we often enjoy the same things for slightly different reasons. I greatly appreciate her patience and support when I have to do something devotional, and I do my best to keep from dragging her into something she doesn\u2019t want to do.<\/p>\n The whole concept of vacation is to change up your routine, to take a break from your ordinary life. This isn\u2019t a luxury \u2013 it\u2019s a necessity. It\u2019s why liturgical calendars often include times of inversion, when the social order is turned upside down\u2026 for a day or two. It\u2019s why we have intercalary times and liminal times, like from Winter Solstice through New Year\u2019s Day.<\/p>\n During these special times, we often eat special foods but we don\u2019t stop eating, because we need to eat to live. If your spiritual practice is like eating to you, then you\u2019ll find a way to maintain it. If it\u2019s not, then it\u2019s OK to take a break from it.<\/p>\n I do my best to exercise regularly. When things are going well it\u2019s not a chore \u2013 it\u2019s something I enjoy in and of itself, not just because \u201cit\u2019s good for me.\u201d But sometimes I need a break. I overdo it and I\u2019m exhausted. I get sick. The weather is horrid, and not just in the \u201cwear better clothes\u201d sense. Particularly as I\u2019ve gotten older, I\u2019ve learned that while there\u2019s a time to power through, there\u2019s also a time to say \u201cI need to rest today.\u201d<\/p>\n The challenge is to make sure a day or two of rest doesn\u2019t turn into a week on the couch.<\/p>\n It\u2019s the same with spiritual practice. The good news is that vacations have clearly marked beginnings and endings, so you know when it\u2019s time to get back to it.<\/p>\n Just make sure you do.<\/p>\n I can attend a UU Sunday service every week at home. What I can\u2019t do here is attend a UU service with an almost 400 year old congregation in an almost 200 year old building, like I did at First Parish in 2013.<\/p>\n There are some unique churches in this country, but there are no 800 year old cathedrals. I enjoy touring the cathedrals of Europe. Even though I\u2019m a Pagan I\u2019d like to attend services in one of them at some point.<\/p>\n My strongest experiences of the Morrigan have been in my back yard here in Texas. I can pray to Her anywhere \u2013 and I do. But I can\u2019t experience Her traditional home anywhere but at Rathcroghan, in Ireland.<\/p>\n And one of these years I want to celebrate the Summer Solstice with the Anglesey Druid Order, even though the sun rises there at 4:48 AM.<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/243\/2018\/11\/10-094-Tomb-of-the-Eagles.jpg\")
<\/a>1. Keep your commitments<\/h2>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/243\/2022\/03\/03-013-the-Dark-Hedges.jpg\")
<\/a>2. Don\u2019t drag others into your commitments<\/h2>\n
3. If you need a break, take it<\/h2>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/243\/2014\/08\/03-01-First-Parish-Cambridge.jpg\")
<\/a>4. But don\u2019t forget to pick it up again<\/h2>\n
5. Do there what you can\u2019t do here<\/h2>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/243\/2022\/03\/18-181-St.-Stephens.jpg\")
<\/a>