{"id":3349,"date":"2015-03-08T16:00:36","date_gmt":"2015-03-08T22:00:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/?p=3349"},"modified":"2015-03-03T19:37:00","modified_gmt":"2015-03-04T01:37:00","slug":"hospitality-for-humans","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnbeckett\/2015\/03\/hospitality-for-humans.html","title":{"rendered":"Hospitality For Humans"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\"food<\/a>Hospitality is at the top of the list of modern Pagan virtues.<\/p>\n

We especially want to be hospitable to the Gods and ancestors.\u00a0 We politely invite Them to our rituals, we offer Them food and drink, and we regale Them with tales and re-enactments of Their mighty deeds.\u00a0 We say farewell when we\u2019re done.\u00a0 We want the Gods to know we take our virtues seriously and that we\u2019re good hosts.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, our human guests sit in the corner quietly waiting for the ritual to start while a handful of regulars are holding a loud private conversation in the kitchen.<\/p>\n

Nobody thinks our human guests are unimportant and nobody means to be inhospitable, but that\u2019s what countless visitors to Pagan gatherings experience eight times every year.\u00a0 We\u2019re busy setting up for the ritual and then we have to change clothes and check on one last thing and then a good friend we haven\u2019t seen since the last ritual pops in and we have to talk to them and then it\u2019s time to start and who are those people sitting in the corner and I guess somebody said something to them and and and\u2026<\/p>\n

And the end result is that people who are looking for a spiritual community decide this isn\u2019t the place for them.\u00a0 If we\u2019re lucky, they forget about us.\u00a0 If we\u2019re not, they tell everybody at the next place they go how unwelcome we made them feel.<\/p>\n

Hospitality is a virtue and a sacred obligation, but it\u2019s also work.\u00a0 If we don\u2019t have a good plan and then follow through with it, the work won\u2019t get done.<\/p>\n

Have a designated greeter<\/strong>.\u00a0 Designate someone whose job it is to greet guests as they arrive.\u00a0 That way Jack isn\u2019t thinking Jill spoke to the young couple sitting in the northwest and Jill is thinking Jack did it.<\/p>\n

Introduce yourself<\/strong>.\u00a0 Offer a handshake, but be ready to drop it if it isn\u2019t picked up right away.\u00a0 Don\u2019t offer hugs to strangers \u2013 some people don\u2019t like to be touched and don\u2019t appreciate being pressured into it.<\/p>\n

Ask questions<\/strong>.\u00a0 \u201cWhere\u2019d you hear about us?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cTake you long to get here?\u201d\u00a0 And if you\u2019re not sure, don\u2019t be afraid to ask \u201chave you been here before?\u201d\u00a0 I see people who come to one ritual and then don\u2019t show up again for six months \u2013 if there\u2019s something unusual about them I may remember I\u2019ve seen them before, but if not I can\u2019t be sure.\u00a0 Better to ask than to guess wrong.<\/p>\n

Let people talk<\/strong>.\u00a0 Most people like talking about themselves.\u00a0 Let them.\u00a0 Your job isn\u2019t to show them how much you know or to correct their misinformation or to tell them how much you liked the book they\u2019re reading, your job is to make them feel at home.\u00a0 Let them talk.<\/p>\n

Tell them what they need to know<\/strong>.\u00a0 Point out the bathrooms and let them know where they can put their coats.\u00a0 Particularly if someone shows up way early, let them know where everyone is gathering and what time you\u2019ll start.\u00a0 Needless to say, start on time \u2013 Pagan Standard Time is an abomination!<\/p>\n

Tell them what they need to know to fully participate in the ritual<\/strong>.\u00a0 Assume that there\u2019s at least one person who\u2019s attending their first Pagan ritual.\u00a0 A good ritual will have plenty of cues for participation, but make sure people know when they\u2019re expected to respond.\u00a0 If there are songs or chants, go over them before the ritual begins.\u00a0 If you\u2019re casting a circle, ask people not to cross it and point out who can cut them out if there\u2019s an emergency.\u00a0 If you\u2019re not, let them know it\u2019s OK to step out if necessary.\u00a0 If there are parts where everyone is expected to participate, make sure they know that before you begin.<\/p>\n

Be accommodating<\/strong>.\u00a0 If you serve alcohol in the ritual (Simple Feast, Cakes and Ale, Reversion of Offerings, etc.) make sure there\u2019s a non-alcoholic version available.\u00a0 Make sure there are chairs for those who need them.\u00a0 Jason Mankey made a good case for standing in ritual<\/a> where ever possible.\u00a0 He\u2019s not wrong, but I\u2019ve found that if people aren\u2019t moving, they\u2019re generally more attentive sitting than standing.\u00a0 Even when you have everyone moving (like for a spiral dance) there may be some who can\u2019t \u2013 make sure you have a place for them to sit and something for them to do.<\/p>\n

Take care of your guests\u2019 needs<\/strong>.\u00a0 How do you know what they need?\u00a0 ASK!\u00a0 Most Pagan groups are small and run on a tight budget \u2013 you may not be able to provide full ADA<\/a> accommodations.\u00a0 But if you ask, you may be able to make their experience better, and you\u2019ll let them know hospitality isn\u2019t just a pretty word.<\/p>\n

Thank them for coming<\/strong>.\u00a0 Of all the things they could have done that night, of all the entertainments and social gatherings and family obligations competing for their time, they chose to spend an hour or so with you.\u00a0 That\u2019s at least worth a thank you.<\/p>\n

Ask if they have any questions<\/strong>.\u00a0 Maybe something in your ritual was unclear to them.\u00a0 Maybe they had a great spiritual experience and want to talk about it.\u00a0 Maybe they like what they see and want to know when they can come back.<\/p>\n

If they tell you something you don\u2019t want to hear, smile and thank them for the feedback.<\/p>\n

If we are hospitable to our guests, they\u2019re more likely to come back.\u00a0 If they feel welcome, they may decide our group is some place they want to make their spiritual home.\u00a0 Even if they don\u2019t, they\u2019re likely to say good things about us to their friends.\u00a0 In ancient times the Gods were known to disguise themselves as humble travelers to test the hospitality of mortals.\u00a0 Those who were good hosts might be rewarded, while those who were not could expect the opposite.<\/p>\n

But if we take our Pagan virtues seriously, we won\u2019t be hospitable because of what it will get us.\u00a0 Rather, we will be hospitable because it\u2019s the right thing to do.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Nobody thinks our guests are unimportant and nobody means to be inhospitable, but that\u2019s what countless visitors to Pagan gatherings experience eight times every year. If we take our Pagan virtues seriously, we will be hospitable because it\u2019s the right thing to do.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1129,"featured_media":3351,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[272],"tags":[459,4,630,5,8,25,455],"class_list":["post-3349","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-community-2","tag-hospitality","tag-pagan","tag-pagan-virtues","tag-paganism","tag-polytheism","tag-ritual-2","tag-virtues"],"yoast_head":"\nHospitality For Humans<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Nobody thinks our guests are unimportant and nobody means to be inhospitable, but that\u2019s what countless visitors to Pagan gatherings experience eight times every year. 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