But the Big Tent also needs to be big enough to accommodate different personalities, lifestyles, and occupations. Our Paganism needs to have room for plumbers and accountants as well as for mystics and priests.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m going to share a bit of that conversation, edited lightly for clarity. The other participant prefers to remain anonymous, but they have given their permission to share this conversation.<\/p>\n Them: <\/strong>So I find it really interesting that all the people saying \u201cJUST BE WEIRD\u201d are all people who are significantly farther outside the mainstream than me, and in some cases people who have given me crap for it. It\u2019s been really hard to get called names by people in my group who seem to resent my \u201cnormalcy.\u201d<\/p>\n Me: <\/strong>I\u2019m in the same position. I function quite well in the mainstream world. I don\u2019t like it \u2013 it\u2019s not who I am \u2013 but it\u2019s a game and life is easier if you can figure out how to play the game well. A good society needs a healthy mixture of \u201cnormal\u201d people who keep the lights on, and \u201cweird\u201d people who constantly challenge them to do better. Some of us manage to keep a foot in both worlds.<\/p>\n Them:<\/strong> I\u2019ve gotten called a \u201csheltered snowflake\u201d because I don\u2019t consume certain media that bothers me. I got called a \u201cdelicate fucking flower\u201d by someone this weekend because I don\u2019t drink publicly, smoke marijuana, or drink coffee.<\/p>\n It\u2019s hard when your \u201ctribe\u201d seems to like the work that I do, and the hours I put in to help them out and be there for them, but then they turn around and can\u2019t seem to figure out how to relate to me outside of that context. I function well in the normal world, despite a number of things that make me pretty unusual. I do my best to function well in alternative spaces, but recently I\u2019ve found them less welcoming.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Mainstream America is currently having a debate on where Christianity ends and rightwing nationalistic politics begins. Too often they seem to be one and the same.<\/p>\n Modern Paganism has long been associated with liberal politics and the counterculture movement of the 1960s. Those are our roots (for most Pagan traditions, anyway) and we should honor them, or at least recognize them. That doesn\u2019t mean we all have to continue in our \u201chippie heritage.\u201d The 1960s \u2013 when Paganism began to take off \u2013 was a time of reaction against the repression of the 1950s. But the pendulum swung just as far in the other direction \u2013 we fixed some problems and created some different ones. Paganism is far more than the legacy of the 1960s.<\/p>\n Who do the Gods belong to? Who does Nature belong to? Who does magic belong to? These aren\u2019t things you can own or control. They\u2019re living entities that can enter into relationships with anyone they choose. We can \u2013 and should \u2013 debate the most appropriate and effective ways to express our devotion to what we hold sacred. But I do not believe the Morrigan gives a flip whether you make offerings to Her wearing tie-dye, black velvet, or khakis and a polo shirt.<\/p>\n If we can be accepting of different races, genders, and sexual orientations, we can be accepting of people who are \u201cweird\u201d or \u201cnormal\u201d or anything in between.<\/p>\n Let\u2019s build our Pagan culture around the virtues of hospitality and reciprocity, not around rejecting \u2013 or accepting \u2013 mainstream appearances.<\/p>\n Them: <\/strong>I am pretty sure most of the comments I\u2019m getting are \u201caffectionate poking-fun\u201d (or possibly \u201cdefensive poking-fun\u201d) and not actual dislike or malice. But it does still make me feel uncomfortable, maybe just because I\u2019m not used to it.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n I\u2019ve been anywhere from a little to a lot overweight most of my life. I used to throw out occasional wisecracks at my perpetually thin friends. They were meant to be humorous expressions of my jealousy, and they were mostly received that way. Until someone said \u201cyou know, being thin isn\u2019t all great\u201d \u2013 and their voice tone let me know there was something deeper involved. I haven\u2019t made those jokes since.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve been on the other side of that, with people making jokes about my attention to detail and extreme punctuality. Most of it is good natured kidding, but sometimes it\u2019s clear people are expressing displeasure in a passive-aggressive way. And sometimes it\u2019s not clear one way or another, and I\u2019m left wondering \u201care they mad at me? And if so, why?\u201d<\/p>\n There is an expectation that those in leadership positions (formal or informal) should be able to take a joke. Mostly we can, and we appreciate how it helps discourage people from putting us on pedestals<\/a>. But our skins aren\u2019t always as thick as it seems, and we\u2019re rarely confident in our ability to distinguish well-meaning humor from actual attacks.<\/p>\n Show some sensitivity to everyone, even those you think are impervious to harm.<\/p>\n Different people have different skills in different areas. But people who can get stuff done in a coven or grove can get stuff done in a corporate setting too \u2013 and vice versa.<\/p>\n Now, whether they choose to do so is another matter. A few years ago I stirred up a bit of controversy repeating the old phrase \u201ca poor magician is a poor magician.<\/a>\u201d I closed by saying:<\/p>\n So, is a poor magician a poor magician?\u00a0 Maybe \u2013 it depends on whether she\u2019s made different trade-offs from what society expects or whether she isn\u2019t paying enough attention to the details of her own life.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n We should never make the Prosperity Gospel mistake of equating material success with the favor of the Gods, spiritual maturity, or magical skill. But having your life together \u2013 including being able to navigate the mainstream world \u2013 is a good thing no matter how you choose to express it.<\/p>\n The exceptions are the extreme mystics \u2013 they\u2019re usually so far into the Otherworld they don\u2019t even notice how badly they don\u2019t fit. But those people are extremely rare, and for all I cherish and value my mystical experiences, I\u2019m not ready to go over that edge. I like the ordinary world, despite its difficulties and shortcomings.<\/p>\n Find your competence, and respect the competence of others.<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/243\/2018\/02\/Mystic-South-2017-18.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\nWhere does culture end and religion begin?<\/h1>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/243\/2018\/02\/Imbolc-2018-06-782x411.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\n\u201cStrong\u201d people are rarely as invulnerable as you think they are<\/h1>\n
Competence is a virtue in any religion<\/h1>\n
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<\/a><\/p>\n