![\"\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/393\/2010\/10\/Picture-1.png\")
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Yesterday my wife Cat and I were driving on the freeway, when she said, \u201cThe slogan of the truck we just passed is \u201cAlways Late.'\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTake a picture!\u201d I said. \u201cTake a picture!\u201d<\/p>\n
Being a Superior Human Being Who Always Gets It, Cat immediately started scrounging around in my bag for the camera I keep on me for those occasions when life insists I make fun of it.<\/p>\n
\u201cGot it!\u201d she said, triumphantly holding aloft my Kodak Cynico-Matic.<\/p>\n
I adroitly maneuvered alongside Mr. Party Tardy; Cat leaned over my lap to get the picture; I tried not to cry as she used my crotch to steady her elbow\u2014and voila:<\/em> the picture above.<\/p>\n So what\u2019s the deal with the slogan, \u201cAlways Late\u201d? Does the driver of this truck also have that slogan on his business cards? Is his big sales pitch, \u201cYou can count on me to be late! If I\u2019m supposed to be there by Tuesday noon, you can bet<\/em> I\u2019ll be there sometime Wednesday! If then! Now where\u2019s that meat you want hauled?\u201d<\/p>\n And what\u2019s with the Evil Death motif? The truck and trailer\u2014-both painted Ominous Purple\u2014-were festooned with skulls and crossbones. It was like a truck driven by the son of Cap\u2019n Jack, Thrasher Sparrow.<\/p>\n Or maybe the truck driver is the ultimate fan of the band Death Cab for Cutie?<\/p>\n Maybe the skulls aren\u2019t meant to be scary. Maybe they\u2019re supposed to show what this trucker\u2019s customers look like by the time their delivery finally arrives. That actually makes sense, because I could not<\/em> drive slow enough to stay next to this truck\u2014-and I drive a Ford Focus. When we first pulled up alongside the truck, we had just started up a long, slight incline on the freeway. By the time Cat grabbed my camera, Mr. Purple Wane was so far behind us that it was like he was driving in reverse. I basically had to park on the freeway and wait for him to catch up.<\/p>\n No wonder he\u2019s always so late. He won\u2019t go.<\/em><\/p>\n I used to be a warehouse-working Teamster: I loaded and unloaded trucks twelve hours a day. I knew a bunch of truck drivers. They were good guys. They took speed to help keep them awake: out of shape, gray-haired, big-rig drivin\u2019 pill poppers, is what they were. I couldn\u2019t help but wonder if whomever was driving this truck was the son or daughter of one of those guys. Maybe. Anything\u2019s possible. Apparently.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Truck drivers are so weird.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1528,"featured_media":23274,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10330","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor"],"yoast_head":"\n