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{"id":14744,"date":"2011-05-16T09:06:25","date_gmt":"2011-05-16T16:06:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnshore\/?p=14744"},"modified":"2011-05-16T09:06:25","modified_gmt":"2011-05-16T16:06:25","slug":"its-a-coconut-shredder","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnshore\/2011\/05\/its-a-coconut-shredder\/","title":{"rendered":"It’s a Coconut Shredder!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

$\"\"$ Surprise!<\/em><\/p>\n

It\u2019s a coconut shredder!!!!!!!!<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

I just didn\u2019t have the heart to wait until Wednesday to reveal to you all the identity of our mystery object.<\/a> I could tell it was driving you guys bonkers. The suspense of finally learning what is! It was just too much for you to bear, I know. And the simple truth is I love you guys too much to watch you suffer. I didn\u2019t have it in me to let your anticipatory agonizing over this thing continue.<\/p>\n

I haven\u2019t looked at your answers yet, but I\u2019ve no doubt in my mind that none of you guessed that this thing is coconut shredder. How could you? How could anyone? I knew it was a coconut shredder (it says so right on the base of the thing) and until I watched this video<\/a>, I thought it somehow cut all the stringy hairs off the outside<\/em> of a coconut. Ha, ha, ha! How stupid was I? And if I, who knew what the thing is, had no idea what it actually did,<\/em> what chance did any of you<\/em> have of guessing it?<\/p>\n

None, obviously. And I\u2019m certain your clever but inevitably mistaken answers will reflect that.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot one of my readers will <\/em>guess what this is,\u201d I gleefully told my friend Kim (who volunteers at the thrift store run he and I were casually trolling about).<\/p>\n

\u201cNever,\u201d agreed Kim, a man of the world\u2014and, interestingly, a guy who really knows food and cooking. \u201cIf I don\u2019t know what it is, no one will.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, cuz you really<\/em> know food and kitchen stuff!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI do!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTake a picture of it! I can\u2019t wait<\/em> to put this on my blog. It\u2019s so rare<\/em> to find something whose function is so impossible to fathom!\u201d<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t think it would be fair of me to tease you guys with the possibility of owning one of my books or tee-shirts, and then deny either to you by making you guess something that no one in a million years could. So here\u2019s what I\u2019ll do: I\u2019ll go right now and look through the answers that readers have thus far left, and see if anyone came even close<\/em> to correctly guessing the function of this infinitely baffling device. And whichever answer came anywhere near<\/em> correct will be declared the winner.<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t wait to see what wild and crazy guesses you guys came up with!!!!<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"