{"id":4040,"date":"2009-06-14T09:18:29","date_gmt":"2009-06-14T17:18:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnshore\/?p=4040"},"modified":"2009-06-14T09:18:29","modified_gmt":"2009-06-14T17:18:29","slug":"wondering-if-youre-having-a-midlife-crisis-take-this-test-to-find-out","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/johnshore\/2009\/06\/wondering-if-youre-having-a-midlife-crisis-take-this-test-to-find-out\/","title":{"rendered":"Men: Take the Midlife Crisis Test!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Are you a guy who thinks he might be having a midlife crisis? If you\u2019d like to know for sure, take the simple test below. On a separate piece of paper, write down the number corresponding to the answer you picked for each of the questions. Once you\u2019ve finished the test, tally up those numbers to arrive at your final score, which you can then use to discover whether or not you\u2019re having a bonafide midlife crisis. Good luck!<\/p>\n

A.<\/strong> Dressed in new lingerie and posing seductively, your wife coos to you, \u201cHoney, would you like to come into the bedroom? I\u2019ve got a surprise for you.\u201d Your response to her is:<\/p>\n

1.\u00a0 \u201cWoot, woot! What a hottie! Race ya\u2019 to the bed!\u201d<\/p>\n

2.\u00a0 \u201cJust gimme a sec, hon; Atlanta\u2019s about to score.\u201d<\/p>\n

3.\u00a0 \u201cSurprises are good! I love surprises! What is it? Tell me what it is! Tell me! Tell me!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

4.\u00a0 \u201cAre you serious? Unless you\u2019ve got that one waitress from Coco\u2019s in the bedroom, do you really think at this point you have any surprises left for me?\u201d<\/p>\n

B.<\/strong> After a hard day\u2019s work, your favorite thing to do is:<\/p>\n

1.\u00a0 Spend some quality time with your wife and kids.<\/p>\n

2.\u00a0 Spend some quality time alone in the garage drinking beer and restoring a classic old car.<\/p>\n

3.\u00a0 Stare at something shiny.<\/p>\n

4.\u00a0 Wonder if your life has any meaning.<\/p>\n

C.<\/strong> Seeing yourself naked before a mirror, the first thing you think is:<\/p>\n

1.\u00a0 \u201cWhat a stud.\u201d<\/p>\n

2.\u00a0 \u201cEh. I\u2019ve seen worse.\u201d<\/p>\n

3.\u00a0 \u201cHey! That\u2019s me!\u201d<\/p>\n

4.\u00a0 \u201cI hate my life.\u201d<\/p>\n

D.<\/strong> Ten years from now, which of the following do you think you\u2019d most likely say to describe yourself:<\/p>\n

1.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m at the top of my game! I couldn\u2019t be happier!\u201d<\/p>\n

2.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m still married; my kids are finally on their own; my vintage car is almost finished. I\u2019m satisfied.\u201d<\/p>\n

3.\u00a0 \u201cI ate dinner last night!\u201d<\/p>\n

4.\u00a0 \u201cI look pretty good in this suit. Too bad I\u2019m dead.\u201d<\/p>\n

E.<\/strong> When you bend down to touch your toes, you:<\/p>\n

1.\u00a0 do.<\/p>\n

2.\u00a0 get reasonably close.<\/p>\n

3.\u00a0 laugh at how everything looks all upside-downy.<\/p>\n

4.\u00a0 start crying at the futility of life.<\/p>\n

F.<\/strong> You count as among your best friends:<\/p>\n

1.\u00a0 Your church\u2019s youth pastor.<\/p>\n

2.\u00a0 Any of the guys down at the golf course.<\/p>\n

3.\u00a0 Your pet rabbit, Mr. Snuffles.<\/p>\n

4.\u00a0 Jack Daniels.<\/p>\n

G.<\/strong> A pretty new woman at your job presses up against you, and whispers that she wants to have an affair with you. The first thought that shoots through your head is:<\/p>\n

1.\u00a0 \u201cToo bad for her that I\u2019m so happily married.\u201d<\/p>\n

2.\u00a0 \u201cI wonder if my wife\u2019s set this up to test me?\u201d<\/p>\n

3.\u00a0 \u201cShe smells like cotton candy! What\u2019s an \u2018affair\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n

4.\u00a0 \u201cWhoa. That was embarrassing. I wonder if she has any smokes on her?\u201d<\/p>\n

H.<\/strong> The word your kids would most likely use to describe you is:<\/p>\n

1.\u00a0 Fun<\/p>\n

2.\u00a0 Dependable<\/p>\n

3.\u00a0 Non-Einstein-like<\/p>\n

4.\u00a0 Insane<\/p>\n

If your score was 1-8, it means that:<\/em><\/p>\n

You\u2019re a young man who wouldn\u2019t know a midlife crisis from the whipped cream on your mocha frappuccino. In fact, what are you doing taking this test at all? Shouldn\u2019t you be out coaching your kid\u2019s soccer team, or coming up with some killer new sales strategy that\u2019s get you that promotion at your job? Or just sitting around in a tee-shirt, thinking how you\u2019ll always look that buff? What\u2019s with the reading?<\/em> Go! Go do something fun and healthy! Enjoy your life! You won\u2019t be immortal forever!<\/p>\n

If your score was 9-16, it means that:<\/em><\/p>\n

You are comfortably tied to the railroad tracks of life, and the Midlife Express is heading your way. But that train is still miles away from you, leaving you free to simply relax in the cool breeze, enjoy the warmth of the sun, revel in the view of the bright blue sky, and listen to the lovely songbirds. Eventually you\u2019ll notice that one of those \u201cchirp chirp\u201ds sounds like a \u201cchoo-choo,\u201d but there\u2019s no need to panic. Yet.<\/p>\n

If your score was 17-24, it means that:<\/em><\/p>\n

You\u2019re a simple soul. It was nice of someone to read this test to you. Don\u2019t worry: you won\u2019t have a midlife crisis. Other people have them, because their inner lives are just so darned complicated. Yours really, really isn\u2019t. So in the great big game of life, you win! Sort of!<\/p>\n

If your score was 25-32, it means that:<\/em><\/p>\n

You\u2019re so deep in the middle of a midlife crisis you make dogs howl just by walking down the street. Good luck.<\/p>\n

**********************************************************************************************************<\/p>\n

Email: johnshore@sbcglobal.net<\/p>\n

Follow: http:\/\/twitter.com\/johnshore<\/a><\/p>\n

Friend: http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/john.shore1<\/a><\/p>\n

Fan: http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/pages\/John-Shore\/89494795412?ref=s<\/a><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Are you a guy who thinks he might be having a midlife crisis? If you\u2019d like to know for sure, take the simple test below. On a separate piece of paper, write down the number corresponding to the answer you picked for each of the questions. Once you\u2019ve finished the test, tally up those numbers […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1528,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[891,892,893,894,895],"class_list":["post-4040","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-men-in-midlife","tag-midlife","tag-midlife-crisis","tag-midlife-crisis-test","tag-midlife-man"],"yoast_head":"\nMen: Take the Midlife Crisis Test!<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Are you a guy who thinks he might be having a midlife crisis? If you'd like to know for sure, take the simple test below. 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