{"id":1156,"date":"2016-11-16T15:21:47","date_gmt":"2016-11-16T23:21:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.rickhanson.net\/?p=29357"},"modified":"2016-11-16T15:21:47","modified_gmt":"2016-11-16T23:21:47","slug":"love-someone","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/justonething\/2016\/11\/love-someone\/","title":{"rendered":"Love Someone"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>
\n

What can you do when there\u2019s nothing you can do?<\/p>\n

The Practice:<\/strong><\/em><\/div>\n

Love Someone.<\/p>\n

Why<\/strong><\/div>\n
\n

Sometimes something happens. Perhaps your sweet old cat takes a turn for the worse, or there\u2019s a money problem, or your son waves goodbye as he gets on a plane to start college on the other side of the country. Sometimes it\u2019s on a larger scale: maybe there\u2019s been an election and you\u2019re grappling with its consequences (see my last post on this topic: Take Heart<\/a>).<\/p>\n

Or you might be dealing with something ongoing, like a dead-end job (or no job at all), life after divorce, chronic pain, or a teenager who won\u2019t talk to you.<\/p>\n

Whatever it is, at first it\u2019s normal to feel rattled, frozen, or unclear about what to do. After awhile, you do what you can to change things for the better. But often there\u2019s not much you can actually change, and sometimes nothing at all.<\/p>\n

Still, there is always one thing you can<\/span> do, no matter what.<\/p>\n

You can always find someone to love.<\/p>\n

Besides the benefits for those on the receiving end, as Shelley Taylor at UCLA has shown, \u201ctending-and- befriending\u201d others can lift your own mood while lowering your stress hormones. Also, at a time when you may feel powerless about the wider world, at least locally, here and now, you can make a real difference. Love is never defeated. Heart after heart after heart.<\/p>\n

How<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

By \u201clove\u201d I mean a wide range, including compassion, support, friendliness, encouragement, appreciation, and cherishing. It can be expressed in simple or subtle ways, such as a call to a friend, more patience with a partner, saying what you liked about a co-worker\u2019s idea, or seeing the being behind the eyes of a stranger passing on the sidewalk.<\/p>\n

And if love is not expressed, it\u2019s still real and it matters. For example, when things happen at any scale that are or could be awful for others \u2013 from your daughter\u2019s friends turning against her to a turn for the worse in a country to the planet overheating and species dying \u2013 it\u2019s natural to feel a sense of moral outrage on behalf of other beings. This is a kind of love, even if there is no place to put it. Or you might sense the weariness in the person sitting across from you in the subway and feel some compassion and goodwill. Perhaps you think about a friend with appreciation, or smile to yourself at what a goofball he is.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s all love.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s been very important to me personally to claim an inner freedom to love. I\u2019ve had frustrating struggles trying to get others to love me or to receive my love. But no one can stop us from finding and feeling love inside ourselves.<\/p>\n

Love feeds us as it flows out of us. Soothing, calming, centering, strengthening.<\/p>\n

Slow it down. Listen longer. Make room for the heart.<\/p>\n

Who else could you love?<\/p>\n

The post Love Someone<\/a> appeared first on Dr. Rick Hanson<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\n<\/a> <\/a> <\/a> <\/a>\n<\/div>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What can you do when there’s nothing you can do? Love Someone. Sometimes something happens. Perhaps your cat takes a turn for the worse, there’s a money problem, or it’s on a larger scale: maybe there’s been an election and you’re grappling with its consequences<\/p>\n

The post Love Someone<\/a> appeared first on Dr. Rick Hanson<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":270,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1156","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-just-one-thing"],"yoast_head":"\nLove Someone<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"What can you do when there’s nothing you can do? Love Someone. Sometimes something happens. 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