{"id":1164,"date":"2016-11-23T07:00:14","date_gmt":"2016-11-23T15:00:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.rickhanson.net\/?p=29410"},"modified":"2016-11-23T07:00:14","modified_gmt":"2016-11-23T15:00:14","slug":"speak-from-the-heart","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/justonething\/2016\/11\/speak-from-the-heart\/","title":{"rendered":"Speak From The Heart"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

What\u2019s Your Heart Saying?<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Practice:
\nSpeak from the heart.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Why?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

One Christmas I hiked down into the Grand Canyon<\/a>, whose bottom lay a vertical mile below the rim. Its walls were layered like a cake, and a foot-high stripe of red or gray rock indicated a million-plus years of erosion by the Colorado river. Think of water \u2013 so soft and gentle \u2013 gradually carving through the hardest stone to reveal great beauty. Sometimes what seems weakest is actually most powerful.<\/p>\n

In the same way, speaking from an open heart can seem so vulnerable yet be the strongest move of all. Naming the truth \u2013 in particular the facts of one\u2019s experience, which no one can disprove \u2013 with simplicity and sincerity, and without contentiousness or blame, has great moral force. You can see the effects writ small and large, from a child telling her parents \u201cI feel bad when you fight\u201d to the profound impact of people describing the atrocities they suffered in Kosovo or Rwanda.<\/p>\n

I met recently with a man whose marriage is being smothered by the weight of everything unsaid. What\u2019s unnamed is all normal-range stuff \u2013 like wishing his wife were less irritable with their children, and more affectionate with him \u2013 but there\u2019s been a kind of fear about facing it, as if it could blow up the relationship. But not talking is what\u2019s actually blowing up their relationship \u2013 and in fact, when people do communicate in a heartfelt way, it\u2019s dignified and compelling, and it usually evokes support and open-heartedness from others.<\/span><\/p>\n

How?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

This week, look for one or more opportunities to speak from your heart. Pick a topic, a person, and a moment that\u2019s likely to go well.<\/p>\n

Before you talk:<\/strong><\/p>\n