![\"\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/347\/2018\/07\/1996PING.jpg\")
<\/a>In my REM sleep, I\u2019ve had so many dreams about golf. I still do even though I\u2019ve been retired from the PGA Tour\/Senior-Champions Tour since 2005. Sometimes, these dreams are humorous. Oftentimes, they involve me being frustrated.<\/p>\nThe golf dream that I have more than any other is failure to make my tee time in a tournament. Yet, throughout all of my amateur and pro golf careers, I never failed to make my tee time. So, why this dream so often? WEIRD!<\/p>\n
In the U.S.G.A.\u2019s Rules of Golf booklet, Rule 6-3a says if a player arrives at his or her starting point, thus the first tee, within five minutes after his or her starting time, the penalty for failure to tee off on time is\u00a0two strokes<\/b>\u00a0at the first hole in stroke play. If the person arrives after five minutes of tee time, the penalty is disqualification.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s a golf dream I had last week:<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t know what tournament it was, but my caddy was Cliff. He\u2019s a friend who used to caddy for me occasionally in Florida, especially in Miami on the Senior Tour. In this dream, Cliff committed a serious error in caddying on the Tour by not staying with his player when we arrive at the first tee. Plus, I arrived a few seconds late. Thus, I had to take a two stroke penalty and I haven\u2019t even hit a ball yet.<\/p>\n
Cliff then walked down the first fairway carrying my golf bag to forecaddie. Yet he forgot to give me my driver and a ball. Tour caddies must always stay with their players on all tees. The reason Cliff did this is that in amateur golf caddying, thus not in a big-time PGA Tour tournament, caddies sometimes will give their player the club (and ball) at the tee and go forecaddie. But on the pro Tour, the tournament sponsor has hundreds of volunteers as crowd marshals, etc., and they serve as ball spotters as well.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s my turn to hit my first shot of the tournament since this is the first day of the play. And I\u2019ve got no club and no ball. So, I yell, \u201cCliff, get back here.\u201d No Cliff. Then I get the gallery to yell it. But still, no Cliff. We don\u2019t see him. He\u2019s nowhere to be found.<\/p>\n
So, I ask one of the pros for an extra ball. He says, \u201cFugetaboutit.\u201d Nice guy! Then I ask Bob Gilder and he says, \u201cI don\u2019t have one.\u201d A marshal on the tee says to me, \u201cI\u2019ve got an extra ball hidden over here in the bottom of this trash can.\u201d We go empty the can and retrieve the ball. But it\u2019s smaller than a normal golf ball. Worst of all, its not round at all. And its a colored ball, with one side colored grey and the other side colored red. I don\u2019t know where the guy got that thing. He must be an alien.<\/p>\n
But I\u2019ve still have no golf club. I then notice that a 2\u00d74 plank that is a part of the wooden bench beside the tee box has a loose nail. I grab that plank and rip it off the bench to use it as a club.<\/p>\n
I then try to tee the ball up. But it keeps falling off the tee because it isn\u2019t round. Finally, I get it teed up. I take a swat at the ball with the 2\u00d74 and knock the ball about fifty yards forward. But it wedged against a tree. So, I had to declare it an unplayable lie and drop the ball for a one stroke penalty. I\u2019ve hit only one shot, yet I have four strokes.<\/p>\n
Finally, Cliff arrives, toting the bag. I chew him out for leaving me stranded. He doesn\u2019t like that. So he says, \u201cWell, you\u2019re not the easiest pro in the world to caddy for, you know.\u201d I reply sarcastically, \u201cOh, tell me about it. How so?\u201d He responds, \u201cYou play golf like a Moon Man!\u201d I roll me eyes.<\/p>\n
I then hit my second shot to lie five. As we start to walk down the fairway, a stretch limo pulls up alongside me and stops. Four dudes dressed in zuitsuits and wearing sunglasses get out and stand there. They look like the FBI or maybe the Mafia. One commands me, \u201cGet in the car.\u201d I reason that some PGA Tour official has sent them to help me get to my ball fast since we are now on the clock for slow play. That\u2019s a real bugaboo on the PGA Tour. You can get fined or worse\u2013penalized one or two strokes.<\/p>\n
Cliff and I get in the limo. But the driver starts driving off the golf course instead of to my ball. I say to him, \u201cHeh, dude, where are you taking me?\u201d He says, \u201cto the airport.\u201d I say, \u201cWhat for?\u201d The head guy in a zuitsuit says, \u201cYou might as well go on to the next tournament for next week since you\u2019ve had such a crappy start here.\u201d THE END.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
In my REM sleep, I\u2019ve had so many dreams about golf. I still do even though I\u2019ve been retired from the PGA Tour\/Senior-Champions Tour since 2005. Sometimes, these dreams are humorous. Oftentimes, they involve me being frustrated. The golf dream that I have more than any other is failure to make my tee time in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1477,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[3610,2647,3613],"class_list":["post-5938","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-golf","tag-golf-dreams","tag-rules-of-golf","tag-tee-times"],"yoast_head":"\n
Golf Dreams for Real<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"In my REM sleep, I've had so many dreams about golf. I still do even though I've been retired from the PGA Tour\/Senior-Champions Tour since 2005.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/2018\/07\/golf-dreams-for-real\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Golf Dreams for Real\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"In my REM sleep, I've had so many dreams about golf. I still do even though I've been retired from the PGA Tour\/Senior-Champions Tour since 2005.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/2018\/07\/golf-dreams-for-real\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Kermit Zarley Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:author\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/kermit.zarley\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2018-07-13T00:32:37+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2018-07-13T00:33:39+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/files\/2018\/07\/1996PING.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Kermit Zarley\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Kermit Zarley\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/2018\/07\/golf-dreams-for-real\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/2018\/07\/golf-dreams-for-real\/\",\"name\":\"Golf Dreams for Real\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2018-07-13T00:32:37+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2018-07-13T00:33:39+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/#\/schema\/person\/8393f2e63455a2915f7ca277bf5a5d02\"},\"description\":\"In my REM sleep, I've had so many dreams about golf. I still do even though I've been retired from the PGA Tour\/Senior-Champions Tour since 2005.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/2018\/07\/golf-dreams-for-real\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/2018\/07\/golf-dreams-for-real\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/2018\/07\/golf-dreams-for-real\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Golf Dreams for Real\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/\",\"name\":\"Kermit Zarley Blog\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/#\/schema\/person\/8393f2e63455a2915f7ca277bf5a5d02\",\"name\":\"Kermit Zarley\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/bf8e1a5dcb179e76f0c39d3d75e849bf?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/bf8e1a5dcb179e76f0c39d3d75e849bf?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Kermit Zarley\"},\"description\":\"Born & reared in Seattle, WA., Kermit lived 38 years in metro Houston, now in Scottsdale, AZ. He graduated from University of Houston w\/ BBA in 1963 and played on the PGA Tour full time from 1964-1982 and Senior\/Champions Tour in 1991-2001. Kermit co-founded the PGA Tour Bible Study in 1965 and was senior leader most of next 17 years. Kermit has three adult children and six grandchildren.\",\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/kermitzarley.com\",\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/kermit.zarley\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/author\/kermitzarleyblog\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Golf Dreams for Real","description":"In my REM sleep, I've had so many dreams about golf. I still do even though I've been retired from the PGA Tour\/Senior-Champions Tour since 2005.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/2018\/07\/golf-dreams-for-real\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Golf Dreams for Real","og_description":"In my REM sleep, I've had so many dreams about golf. I still do even though I've been retired from the PGA Tour\/Senior-Champions Tour since 2005.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/2018\/07\/golf-dreams-for-real\/","og_site_name":"Kermit Zarley Blog","article_author":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/kermit.zarley","article_published_time":"2018-07-13T00:32:37+00:00","article_modified_time":"2018-07-13T00:33:39+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/files\/2018\/07\/1996PING.jpg"}],"author":"Kermit Zarley","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Kermit Zarley","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/2018\/07\/golf-dreams-for-real\/","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/2018\/07\/golf-dreams-for-real\/","name":"Golf Dreams for Real","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/#website"},"datePublished":"2018-07-13T00:32:37+00:00","dateModified":"2018-07-13T00:33:39+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/#\/schema\/person\/8393f2e63455a2915f7ca277bf5a5d02"},"description":"In my REM sleep, I've had so many dreams about golf. I still do even though I've been retired from the PGA Tour\/Senior-Champions Tour since 2005.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/2018\/07\/golf-dreams-for-real\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/2018\/07\/golf-dreams-for-real\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/2018\/07\/golf-dreams-for-real\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Golf Dreams for Real"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/","name":"Kermit Zarley Blog","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/#\/schema\/person\/8393f2e63455a2915f7ca277bf5a5d02","name":"Kermit Zarley","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/bf8e1a5dcb179e76f0c39d3d75e849bf?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/bf8e1a5dcb179e76f0c39d3d75e849bf?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Kermit Zarley"},"description":"Born & reared in Seattle, WA., Kermit lived 38 years in metro Houston, now in Scottsdale, AZ. He graduated from University of Houston w\/ BBA in 1963 and played on the PGA Tour full time from 1964-1982 and Senior\/Champions Tour in 1991-2001. Kermit co-founded the PGA Tour Bible Study in 1965 and was senior leader most of next 17 years. Kermit has three adult children and six grandchildren.","sameAs":["http:\/\/kermitzarley.com","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/kermit.zarley"],"url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/author\/kermitzarleyblog\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5938","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1477"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5938"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5938\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5938"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5938"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kermitzarleyblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5938"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}