{"id":3073,"date":"2016-09-26T13:53:03","date_gmt":"2016-09-26T09:53:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/kimberlyknight\/?p=3073"},"modified":"2017-10-30T15:53:15","modified_gmt":"2017-10-30T11:53:15","slug":"a-lesbian-walks-into-a-garage-oil-and-minds-are-changed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/kimberlyknight\/2016\/09\/a-lesbian-walks-into-a-garage-oil-and-minds-are-changed\/","title":{"rendered":"A lesbian walks into a garage, oil and minds are changed"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Friends, I would like to introduce you to my partner Betsy. She has a great story to share with us today and I am immensely grateful that she agreed to be a guest blogger on my crazy little blog.<\/p>\n

\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

On my way home from school this afternoon I stopped to collect the tic-tac, our nickname for Kim\u2019s little, white car. The secretary, a soft, smiling woman I see every 3,000 miles but whose name I\u2019ve yet to learn, handed me the bill. \u201cYour car\u2019s ready.\u201d I smile, \u201cthanks, it\u2019s actually my\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

hesitating seeing the \u201cMake America Great Again\u201d sticker on the wall behind her\u2026it was the type of pause, a movie pause where everything slows down \u201cmake America HATE again\u201d is the joke in our home\u2026<\/p>\n

\u201cpartner\u2019s, my fianc\u00e9\u2019s car,\u201d finishing the statement.<\/p>\n

Done. Smile.<\/p>\n

She asked if I\u2019d sold our other car. \u201cNo\u201d I said, \u201cthe VW almost sold, but it fell through.\u201dShe looked confused, then asked if my partner was a flight attendant. \u201cNope, she works in Sarasota.\u201d Now I looked confused.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou look familiar\u201d she said. She explained, there was another customer whose partner is a flight attendant. I joked \u201clesbians \u2013 we all look alike.\u201d<\/p>\n

She smiled.<\/p>\n

It turned out that I looked familiar, not from the dozens of oil changes, but rather her daughter was in my photography class a few years back. She remembered me from parents\u2019 evening.<\/p>\n

\u201cI pulled her out of school\u201d she explained, \u201cshe fell in with the wrong crowd; she fell in with the rednecks.\u201d<\/p>\n

A second slow motion moment\u2026a Trump gal critical of rednecks? I stand corrected. Before she could continue, I offered \u201cBo Potter? Henry Black?\u201d<\/p>\n

Her smile broadened; I teach at a very small collegiate high school where rednecks are a rarity.<\/p>\n

I explained, these guys were harmless. They just smoked too much dope.She told me they used to \u201cgo mudding\u2019, shoot rabbits and eat \u2018em!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah\u201d I replied, \u201charmless. Henry used his wild rabbit reciepe for a photo project. His classmates loved it!\u201d
\nIt was time to get home and with my hand on the door handle, she asked me when I was getting married.<\/p>\n

My hand slipped from the handle.<\/p>\n

\u201cIn March, in Venice,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n

\u201cFlorida?\u201d she asked. \u201cYou can get married down here?\u201d<\/p>\n

I explained that gay marriage was made legal nationwide over a year ago.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh,\u201d she smiled.<\/p>\n

\u201cWelp, I gotta go,\u201d hand back on handle. Smile\u2026<\/p>\n

Then, the all too familiar \u2013 \u201cHow did you know\u2026 you were gay? I\u2019m sorry, is that okay to ask?\u201d<\/p>\n

Hand OFF handle. Thinking at this point we\u2019ve covered rednecks, gay flight attendants and basic car maintenance \u2013 sure it\u2019s okay. I explained that I didn\u2019t come out until I was 30. I explained that I dated guys, really nice guys, funny, talented, kind men. And we had fun. We played pool, drank beer, cooked dinners, watched movies, and it was really\u2026nice.<\/p>\n

They were all very nice.<\/p>\n

My friends would talk about their boyfriends with voices spilling over with longing and love and I\u2019d think, they must have nice boyfriends too. I told her that it wasn\u2019t until I was a million miles away teaching in Asia, away from the familiar, the family and the faith, that I fell in love, unexpectedly, with a woman. And just like that, I knew what was missing from all those nice guys\u2026love. I knew in an instant and my whole life sharpened.<\/p>\n

My individual universe made sense to me. Life\u2019s curtain was lifted.<\/p>\n

Duh. Honestly, duh. How had I not noticed before.<\/p>\n

I explained to her, all I had seen were models of straight love on TV, in life, at school and at church; I had no words or images to understand who or what I might be when I was growing up.<\/p>\n

She was fascinated.<\/p>\n

Me, standing in a car garage office, FOX news muted on the wall. She, sitting behind a grimy desk, Trump sticker peeking over her shoulder, and she still had questions. \u201cWhy did your partner move down here, why didn\u2019t you move?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell\u201d I explained, \u201c couldn\u2019t sell my house in time, and my folks live in Venice.\u201d I explained that Kim\u2019s parents had both passed. She looked sad. I shared that when Kim came out to them, they rejected her. She looked even sadder. I explained the best I could; she wanted to know more.<\/p>\n

She began to share \u201cmy aunt is gay; she was married for 20 years, two kids, and then she just left him\u2026for a woman.\u201d<\/p>\n

I wondered if her pause was longer to her than it was to me. She wanted to understand and was asking questions OF me but FOR herself. And for that moment, we were simply two people trying to understand.<\/p>\n

As teachers, we are trained to recognize \u201cteachable moments,\u201d so I will resist turning this into the cliche that \u201cwe both left that day with a little more faith in humanity\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

But, it was a moment where the politics and politeness and appointments fell aside for a few moments to let two curious strangers, who have known each other for years, trust one another a little more.<\/p>\n

The next oil change, I\u2019ll be sure to get her name.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"betsyclassroom\"<\/a>Betsy has been teaching English and photography for 23 years in the States and abroad. In her \u201cspare time\u201d, she rescues\u00a0beer and liquor\u00a0bottles, giving them a second chance at life so people can adopt them at local farmer\u2019s markets. She\u2019s comfortable changing her mind as often as her oil.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Hey, babe, you\u2019re a blogger!<\/em><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Friends, I would like to introduce you to my partner Betsy. She has a great story to share with us today and I am immensely grateful that she agreed to be a guest blogger on my crazy little blog. \u00a0 On my way home from school this afternoon I stopped to collect the tic-tac, our […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1039,"featured_media":3074,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[168,46,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3073","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-homosexual-lifestyle-2","category-love","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\nA lesbian walks into a garage, oil and minds are changed<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Friends, I would like to introduce you to my partner Betsy. 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