![\"51FdvNCQD8L\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/510\/2015\/01\/51FdvNCQD8L.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\nEvery time we enter into a New Year, I\u2019m consumed with dual thoughts. My birthday is January 26th<\/sup>, so each New Year presents a plate full of ambition and fear. I\u2019m a kid born in the seventies, groomed in the eighties, and got my swagger from the nineties. During the nineties I released an album titled \u201cWhatcha Lookin\u2019 4?\u201d (We spelled everything like that back in the day!) Basically, it was my way of raising the question to my audience at the time of their pursuit of a God centered life in the midst of a new flashy and fast decade. Churches were getting bigger, albums were flying off the shelves by the replacement of CD\u2019s and the tech boom was knocking on everyone\u2019s door.<\/p>\n My birthday is just a few days away\u2026 After a good deep look into my soul (a soul that has not been totally free from the casualties of the cultural wars around us, more things, bigger churches that are less filled, CD\u2019s now used as coasters for Uncle Ricky\u2019s Mr. PIBB, selfies with someone at the smoothie king I don\u2019t even ask if my ministry has touched her life, cause I don\u2019t wanna look weird at the Smoothie King, and now a father of children that I\u2019m afraid every day are less interested in their father\u2019s God), it\u2019s time again, twenty years after the release of that body of\u00a0 work to ask myself \u201cWhatcha lookin\u2019 4?<\/p>\n Do I want another year of the \u201chamster wheel?\u201d The wheel that impresses everyone because busy looks like growth. Not always true in God\u2019s economy. Sometimes the \u201cbeing still\u201d is the place of strength, courage, and a peace that is beyond priceless. When I\u2019m forced to be still, to be at home, to not be on the road making a big deal out of God [and myself when the flesh can sneak some self glory in!] it can be an ego attack like none other!<\/p>\n See, in my line of work, you MUST look like you\u2019re relevant, in demand, like your calendar needs a calendar! Image. That ugly monster. So to be at a place where I\u2019m not doing anything looks like my well has run dry. But if I\u2019m honest, I have run on fumes so many times in my life, not giving the people a fresh word because I haven\u2019t sat my butt down long enough to get one, I regret the times I didn\u2019t close the door, turn off the internet that robbed me of my nineties, and not look at how many twitter followers I lose if I don\u2019t conjure up something impressive to say.<\/p>\n The world will not get quieter; so I must.<\/p>\n And I must be willing to do whatever it takes to be diligent in \u201cnot being busy.\u201d To be ok in the next interview when they ask \u201cSo what\u2019s next?\u201d to be the biggest dude in the room, at 5\u20194\u2019\u2019 and say \u201cI don\u2019t know, but God does.\u201d It\u2019s the truth aint it?! I\u2019m not that smart to come from the life of hell and struggle I\u2019ve been through to serve in the level of ministry I have for over two decades. No GED, no parents, just an overflow of supersized, over the top, bucket load of GRACE.<\/p>\n And what am I looking for?<\/p>\n Ah, that\u2019s the question!<\/p>\n I\u2019m looking to find the little kid, wearing GoodWill clothes and recycling newspapers for piano lessons with his adopted elderly mother who loved God so much, she planted that seed of him and his music into her newly adopted four year old son. That son who would climb on top of the roof at night and sing songs to God because he was the only playmate I had at the time. A place and time where I had\u2026 time. It was honest, pure, uncontaminated with religion or dogma, but just a friend named Jesus.<\/p>\n I believe I\u2019ve lost some of that, while working for Jesus. The same way a man can love his wife, but lose her along the journey. That\u2019s what I\u2019m looking for.<\/p>\n Along with that CD of AL Green stuck to the bottom of my Uncle Ricky\u2019s soda.<\/p>\n Read more on SixSeeds Faith and Family<\/a>, f<\/strong><\/em>an Kirk on Facebook<\/a>, l<\/strong><\/em>isten to him on\u00a0YouTube<\/a>, and f<\/strong><\/em>ollow him on Twitter<\/a><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u201cSo what\u2019s next?\u201d they ask. Here’s what I’ll tell them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2138,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[5,9,10],"class_list":["post-20","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-faith","tag-identity","tag-success"],"yoast_head":"\n