{"id":531,"date":"2016-03-10T12:25:12","date_gmt":"2016-03-10T16:25:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/?p=531"},"modified":"2016-03-10T12:26:27","modified_gmt":"2016-03-10T16:26:27","slug":"divorced-parents-where-do-you-find-your-strength","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/2016\/03\/divorced-parents-where-do-you-find-your-strength\/","title":{"rendered":"Divorced Parents: Where Do You Find Your Strength?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\"Image<\/a>
Image by Jon Ottosson<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/p>

When I went through my divorce, I was childless and frankly, I considered that to be an insult to injury. I thought that at least having a child to love and care for would make it easier to bear the pain of the loss of my marriage. Maybe in some respects, that\u2019s true, but over the years I\u2019ve come to realize that\u00a0being a single, divorced parent<\/a> has got to be one of the heaviest crosses to carry. I\u2019ve heard stories over the years that would make you drop to your knees and beg God to never let that happen to you. Just as I believe divorced men and women are the walking wounded of our society, so I believe being a single, divorced parent<\/a> for many is a path to sainthood.<\/p>\n

Beyond\u00a0the agony of dragging one\u2019s\u00a0children through the utter devastation of divorce, custody battles, and being shuffled from one home to another, single parents have to be both father and mother to one or more children, most likely while they\u00a0are trying to earn a living and stay afloat financially. It is both physically and emotionally draining. There\u2019s never another adult around to help pick up the slack and oftentimes, these parents rarely get much-needed breaks and time for themselves. In a situation like this it\u2019s easy to become burned-out and depressed, making it difficult to find healing.\u00a0If you find yourself in this position, I\u2019d like to share\u00a0an idea with you to\u00a0help to recharge your batteries and bring a fresh perspective to your daily life.<\/p>\n

It all begins by looking to Jesus. When he was in his public ministry, he had little time to himself. The people he served\u00a0were very needy, much like children. Crowds followed\u00a0him from one end of the sea to the other and it was difficult for him to have any time alone, even with his apostles. Citizens of the towns he visited were constantly begging him to cure their sick and drive out demons, and work all kinds of miracles. And of course the high priests and the Pharisees were giving him a hard time everywhere he went. Even the apostles\u2014as much as they were his chosen ones\u2014were fairly\u00a0needy individuals, bickering amongst themselves about who was greater or not understanding that he was there to fulfill his father\u2019s will, not rule Jerusalem as a wealthy king. But Jesus found his rest, consolation and strength in communicating with his Father in prayer. He would find a hiding place and pray all night and in the morning he would return\u00a0refreshed and ready to face whatever the day brought. He leaves this example for us today.<\/p>\n

\n

I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

John 15:5<\/a>\u00a0tells us that apart from Christ we can do nothing, so daily prayer is our best means of\u00a0remaining connected to Him. If you are feeling overwhelmed, that might sound like just another thing heaped upon you, but there are creative ways to fit prayer time into your busy schedule. The goal is to find refreshment, not stress. It can be as simple as\u00a0getting up 10 minutes earlier each morning and\u00a0spend some quiet prayer time with God reading the gospel of the day<\/a>, or taking some time in the evening when the kids are asleep. You may have many pressing responsibilities and concerns about your future\u00a0and I encourage you to bring them all\u00a0to this time with God as Jesus did and find your rest and refreshment in him.<\/p>\n

Here is another simple way to begin\u00a0. . . when you open your eyes in the morning, even before you get out of bed, say a brief prayer and thank God for the new day. Ask him for strength. At noon, say a Hail Mary, asking the Blessed Mother to show you the way. Then at night before you sleep, review your day, noting the good things you\u2019ve achieved as well as any failures. Thank God again. You will find a lot of\u00a0comfort and renewed hope by practicing this simple, effective prayer routine.<\/p>\n

But let\u2019s say you get up early to pray and are interrupted by your child who wants breakfast. Or let\u2019s say you\u2019ve hired a babysitter so you can go spend an hour at your parish\u2019s adoration chapel and the babysitter cancels. There are a million things that can get in the way of your sincere effort to take time to pray. Don\u2019t let these things discourage you or make you feel that trying to pray is a fruitless effort. On the contrary, God sees your efforts and\u00a0blesses you for them.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s another thought to consider\u2026 it\u2019s good to have your children involved in extra-curricular activities, but are these activities circumventing your time as a family together? Baseball for the boys, gymnastics for the girls, great. But Baseball, karate, and soccer, or gymnastics, dance, and swim lessons might be taking you all away from each other, and God. Every family needs to pray together. Why not make Sunday your family\u00a0day<\/a>, where everything revolves around you, your children, and God?<\/p>\n

Whatever your circumstances, there is nothing that brings rest and refreshment to parents and children\u00a0like spending quality time together and taking some of that time to pray as a family. Forming this habit will pay off in big ways for you and your children.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When I went through my divorce, I was childless and frankly, I considered that to be an insult to injury. I thought that at least having a child to love and care for would make it easier to bear the pain of the loss of my marriage. Maybe in some respects, that\u2019s true, but over […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2423,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[15,3,14,16,27,5,37,89,34],"class_list":["post-531","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-marriage-and-divorce","tag-breakups","tag-catholic-annulment","tag-catholic-divorce","tag-divorce-recovery","tag-divorced-catholic","tag-how-to-heal-after-divorce","tag-lisa-duffy","tag-single-parenting","tag-the-catholic-guide-to-dating-after-divorce"],"yoast_head":"\nDivorced Parents: Where Do You Find Your Strength?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"When I went through my divorce, I was childless and frankly, I considered that to be an insult to injury. 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