{"id":541,"date":"2016-03-15T12:53:11","date_gmt":"2016-03-15T16:53:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/?p=541"},"modified":"2016-03-15T12:53:11","modified_gmt":"2016-03-15T16:53:11","slug":"is-the-grass-greener-on-the-married-side-of-the-fence","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/2016\/03\/is-the-grass-greener-on-the-married-side-of-the-fence\/","title":{"rendered":"Is The Grass Greener On The Married Side Of The Fence?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>
\n
\n
\"Photo<\/a>
Photo by Jaelynn Castillo<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I would give anything to have to a man\u2019s dirty clothes left on the floor to pick up!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

A friend of mine who\u2019d been divorced several years had that reaction to an episode of \u201cEverybody Loves Raymond<\/a>\u201c, in which the character, Deborah, calls her husband, Raymond, an idiot as she picks his underwear up off the floor.<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t stand wives that don\u2019t appreciate their husbands\u2026 you never know what you have until you don\u2019t have it anymore!<\/em> <\/strong>my friend complained.<\/p>\n

During the seven years I spent as a single woman after my divorce, my hope to remarry was a constant theme in my life. I had a decree of nullity in hand, and was actively seeking a new relationship (rather impatiently at that).<\/p>\n

I would go to 7 am Mass each day and soak up the glorious silence of the post-communion reflection moments, offering God my day and asking him to use me as he saw fit (hoping that would include bumping into the right man). In fact, all my prayers included that wishful prodding: Lord, I am ready to meet him whenever you are ready to introduce us.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

One day at Mass, a family of six came in and the mother was holding her\u00a0youngest, a most precious 1-year-old with a beaming smile that was hard to ignore. I begged God that day to please<\/em> end my single days and bring someone into the picture who I could share my life with.<\/p>\n

And then, he did.<\/p>\n

Four years, a husband, and three children later, I realized how blind I had been to the gifts that came with being single. There were no beautiful silent moments at Mass with rich reflections anymore. No, the peacefulness of Mass turned into wrestling matches with loud,\u00a0cranky\u00a0children. I got more exercise at church by walking in and out with crying kids and leaky, poopy diapers that had stained my favorite dress than I did going to the gym. I was lucky if I got any prayers said beyond my morning offering \u2014 and daily Mass\u2026 that was a luxury. Honestly, all I really wanted was a nap.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t get me wrong: I couldn\u2019t be more grateful for the second chance God gave me to experience marriage and motherhood after surviving a terrible divorce and defying the medical diagnosis of not being able to have children. I am grateful every second! But with that sense of gratitude comes a bit of guilt and sadness over the lack of gratitude I had for the blessings that came with being single because I was so focused on wishing I was married.<\/p>\n

Marriage is wonderful and something everyone who wants to be married will hopefully experience.\u00a0Yet there is no perfect marriage.\u00a0There is a lot of suffering and sacrifice that comes with it. Much like Robyn Lee wrote about in her article Letter From A Young Bride<\/a>, it\u2019s important to count the blessings in the midst of the trials.<\/p>\n

In the book of Ecclesiastes, chapter 3<\/a>, we learn that there is a time for everything:<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance\u2026<\/em><\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n
You might as well add to that \u201ca time to be married and a time to be single.\u201d You may be struggling with being single right now, but don\u2019t give in to discouragement.\u00a0And God\u2019s timing is always perfect and in the meantime, count your blessings.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
This article was originally published at CatholicMatch.Com<\/a>.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I would give anything to have to a man\u2019s dirty clothes left on the floor to pick up! A friend of mine who\u2019d been divorced several years had that reaction to an episode of \u201cEverybody Loves Raymond\u201c, in which the character, Deborah, calls her husband, Raymond, an idiot as she picks his underwear up off […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2423,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[15,3,14,33,16,7,27,90,37,92,91,6,34],"class_list":["post-541","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-marriage-and-divorce","tag-breakups","tag-catholic-annulment","tag-catholic-divorce","tag-dating-after-divorce","tag-divorce-recovery","tag-divorced-and-remarried-catholics","tag-divorced-catholic","tag-everybody-loves-raymond","tag-lisa-duffy","tag-patricia-heaton","tag-ray-romano","tag-relationships","tag-the-catholic-guide-to-dating-after-divorce"],"yoast_head":"\nIs The Grass Greener On The Married Side Of The Fence?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I would give anything to have to a man\u2019s dirty clothes left on the floor to pick up! A friend of mine who\u2019d been divorced several years had that reaction\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/2016\/03\/is-the-grass-greener-on-the-married-side-of-the-fence\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Is The Grass Greener On The Married Side Of The Fence?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I would give anything to have to a man\u2019s dirty clothes left on the floor to pick up! A friend of mine who\u2019d been divorced several years had that reaction\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/2016\/03\/is-the-grass-greener-on-the-married-side-of-the-fence\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Lisa Duffy: A Million Unheard Souls\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-03-15T16:53:11+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/wp.production.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/files\/2016\/03\/Married-Side-of-the-Fence.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Lisa Duffy\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Lisa Duffy\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/2016\/03\/is-the-grass-greener-on-the-married-side-of-the-fence\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/2016\/03\/is-the-grass-greener-on-the-married-side-of-the-fence\/\",\"name\":\"Is The Grass Greener On The Married Side Of The Fence?\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2016-03-15T16:53:11+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2016-03-15T16:53:11+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/#\/schema\/person\/09718436a9b47d81ab4f885dae7cc336\"},\"description\":\"I would give anything to have to a man\u2019s dirty clothes left on the floor to pick up! A friend of mine who\u2019d been divorced several years had that reaction\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/2016\/03\/is-the-grass-greener-on-the-married-side-of-the-fence\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/2016\/03\/is-the-grass-greener-on-the-married-side-of-the-fence\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/2016\/03\/is-the-grass-greener-on-the-married-side-of-the-fence\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Is The Grass Greener On The Married Side Of The Fence?\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/\",\"name\":\"Lisa Duffy: A Million Unheard Souls\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/#\/schema\/person\/09718436a9b47d81ab4f885dae7cc336\",\"name\":\"Lisa Duffy\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/83cd30e3ddac3dbe6844e51350d3b730?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/83cd30e3ddac3dbe6844e51350d3b730?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Lisa Duffy\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/LisaDuffy.Com\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/author\/lduffy\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Is The Grass Greener On The Married Side Of The Fence?","description":"I would give anything to have to a man\u2019s dirty clothes left on the floor to pick up! A friend of mine who\u2019d been divorced several years had that reaction","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/2016\/03\/is-the-grass-greener-on-the-married-side-of-the-fence\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Is The Grass Greener On The Married Side Of The Fence?","og_description":"I would give anything to have to a man\u2019s dirty clothes left on the floor to pick up! A friend of mine who\u2019d been divorced several years had that reaction","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/2016\/03\/is-the-grass-greener-on-the-married-side-of-the-fence\/","og_site_name":"Lisa Duffy: A Million Unheard Souls","article_published_time":"2016-03-15T16:53:11+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/wp.production.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/files\/2016\/03\/Married-Side-of-the-Fence.jpg"}],"author":"Lisa Duffy","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Lisa Duffy","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/2016\/03\/is-the-grass-greener-on-the-married-side-of-the-fence\/","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/2016\/03\/is-the-grass-greener-on-the-married-side-of-the-fence\/","name":"Is The Grass Greener On The Married Side Of The Fence?","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/#website"},"datePublished":"2016-03-15T16:53:11+00:00","dateModified":"2016-03-15T16:53:11+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/#\/schema\/person\/09718436a9b47d81ab4f885dae7cc336"},"description":"I would give anything to have to a man\u2019s dirty clothes left on the floor to pick up! A friend of mine who\u2019d been divorced several years had that reaction","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/2016\/03\/is-the-grass-greener-on-the-married-side-of-the-fence\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/2016\/03\/is-the-grass-greener-on-the-married-side-of-the-fence\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/2016\/03\/is-the-grass-greener-on-the-married-side-of-the-fence\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Is The Grass Greener On The Married Side Of The Fence?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/","name":"Lisa Duffy: A Million Unheard Souls","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/#\/schema\/person\/09718436a9b47d81ab4f885dae7cc336","name":"Lisa Duffy","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/83cd30e3ddac3dbe6844e51350d3b730?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/83cd30e3ddac3dbe6844e51350d3b730?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Lisa Duffy"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/LisaDuffy.Com"],"url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/author\/lduffy\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/541","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2423"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=541"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/541\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=541"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=541"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lisaduffy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=541"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}