{"id":54,"date":"2012-02-03T18:54:30","date_gmt":"2012-02-03T21:54:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/longobedience\/?p=54"},"modified":"2012-02-03T18:54:30","modified_gmt":"2012-02-03T21:54:30","slug":"2011-annus-horibilis-annus-mirabilis","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/longobedience\/2011-annus-horibilis-annus-mirabilis\/","title":{"rendered":"2011 – annus horibilis? annus mirabilis."},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

In late 1992, Queen Elizabeth II gave a speech<\/a> in which she concluded that year \u2013 in which Diana wrote a tell-all book, Sarah was photographed topless with a guy sucking on her toes, Windsor Castle burned and various other indignities were suffered \u2013 was annus horribilis<\/a>,<\/em> literally, the \u2018year of horrors.\u2019<\/p>\n

I remembered that phrase at various points during the last year\u2026 during 2011 specifically. It was a year in which I went through radiation, chemo, steroids, and more chemo. I got shingles. I lost my ability to walk more than 10 or 20 feet. I was told in March that I was going to die, probably by year\u2019s end. Steroids led me into a darkness without any promise of light. Simultaneously there were family issues that at times seemed to threaten to destroy whatever else hadn\u2019t already been destroyed. My memory was shot. Efforts to work, to write, were in vain. I look back on the year and I shudder at the depths, despite the miraculous reality that God intervened and has saved my life.<\/p>\n

The Queen\u2019s use of the term annus horibilis<\/em> was her take on an older phrase \u2013 annus mirabilis<\/a>, <\/em>the \u2018year of miracles.\u2019<\/p>\n

That phrase was first used by an English poet named John Dryden<\/a> in 1667. Fully expecting to find that he was commemorating a year of plenty and a year of wonder, I was surprised to find out that actually, he wrote the poem commemorating a year<\/a>, 1666, in which the Great Fire swept through London, destroying the homes of 70,000 of the 80,000 people who lived there. It was also a year where the English took huge losses in their war with the Dutch. While they eventually prevailed, the cost was high.<\/p>\n

Why then did Dryden call it a year of miracles? Because he believed it was only God\u2019s mercy that prevented things from being worse. Suffering? Plenty. But at the end of the year England stood. A year of miracles.<\/p>\n

Queen Elizabeth II versus John Dryden. I have to side, reluctantly in a way, with Dryden. It is easier to go the Queen\u2019s route and lament all that was lost in 2011. It was brutal. But it all comes down to my orientation. What do I choose to believe? That I deserve a walk in the park? That I deserve parades and confetti? That the pain is evidence of God\u2019s absence? Judgment?<\/p>\n

OR. Do I choose to orient myself, humble myself I suppose, and believe I actually deserve no good thing? I haven\u2019t earned this life, haven\u2019t earned this breath or the last one or the next one? That I surrender myself to God and view any goodness as unmerited blessing? That, finally, I say that my life isn\u2019t actually about my life at all, but that it is about loving, worshipping, praising God because he\u2019s God and I am a vapor.<\/p>\n

So, sitting firmly now in 2012, looking back across the last year perhaps I need to categorize it differently. No doubt I suffered. The tears and pain were all too real. But in the midst of that God used my life to show himself to others? That the doctor and the radiation techs and the nurses and friends and strangers caught glimpse of God through all my darkness and faithlessness? That\u2019s a better way of looking at it I think.<\/p>\n

So, 2011?<\/p>\n

Annus mirabilis<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In late 1992, Queen Elizabeth II gave a speech in which she concluded that year \u2013 in which Diana wrote a tell-all book, Sarah was photographed topless with a guy sucking on her toes, Windsor Castle burned and various other indignities were suffered \u2013 was annus horribilis, literally, the \u2018year of horrors.\u2019 I remembered that […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":65,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[18,17,10,13,19,15,12,14,16,20],"class_list":["post-54","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-annus-horribilis","tag-annus-miribilas","tag-brain-tumor","tag-john-dryden","tag-miracles","tag-princess-diana","tag-pseudo-progression","tag-queen-elizabeth","tag-sarah-ferguson","tag-shingles"],"yoast_head":"\n2011 - annus horibilis? annus mirabilis.<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"In late 1992, Queen Elizabeth II gave a speech in which she concluded that year - in which Diana wrote a tell-all book, Sarah was photographed topless\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/longobedience\/2011-annus-horibilis-annus-mirabilis\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"2011 - annus horibilis? 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