Twilight<\/em>.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Yes, I was surrounded by a crowd of giggling, squirming, screaming girls (ages 14-45) who were wearing t-shirts declaring their lifelong love for certain vampire characters. Whenever the character named Edward so much as smirked, they screamed and swooned. I haven\u2019t seen anything like it since Keanu Reeves\u2019 band Dogstar played in Seattle.<\/p>\n
I will offer a full review later. This is not a review: I\u2019m not saying anything about the performances, the writing, the cinematography, or even much about the story at all. I\u2019m only commenting on the story, which has been around for years.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m only commenting on this film\u2019s depiction of \u201ctrue love.\u201d<\/p>\n
The love story makes the relationship between Jack and Rose in Titanic<\/em> seem like a mature, adult relationship. At least those<\/em> characters had dialogue, when they weren\u2019t just shouting \u201cJack!\u201d \u201cRose!\u201d \u201cJack!\u201d \u201cRose!\u201d \u201cJACK!!\u201d \u201cROSE!!\u201d<\/p>\nIn this film, there\u2019s not much shouting. They just stare at one another with deeply constipated expressions. Somebody could have a lot of fun on YouTube with the long sequences of Edward and Bella gazing at one another, simply by overlaying the sounds of noisy, unpleasant bodily functions.<\/p>\n
And I\u2019m sorry, but I don\u2019t understand why a character would be angst-ridden, tormented, anguished, and severely burdened by the dark, dark, dark secret<\/em> of having (minor spoilers) skin covered in dollar-store glitter. \u201cPity me! I\u2019m glossy!\u201d <\/span>(Highlight to reveal shocking spoiler-revelation.) Sorry, that sure doesn\u2019t work for me.<\/p>\nBut then, I\u2019m not really the target audience.<\/p>\n
Keep in mind: This film is from the same director that brought us The Nativity Story<\/em>. Again, I won\u2019t review THIS film just yet, but I will say that you should keep in mind this is the director who, given a story full of moments that should have inspired real awe, settled instead for sentimentality, and her idea of excitement involved a bunch of dizzying, rapid-cut editing. And the special effects in The Nativity Story were C+ effects. Most television<\/em> fantasy if more effective.<\/p>\nThe idea of romantic conversation or intriguing dialogue in Twilight<\/em> is deeply insufficient as well. A single episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer<\/em> or even Moonlight <\/em>has better dialogue and stronger characters. Heck, Dr. Horrible\u2019s Sing-a-long Blog<\/em> is more substantially romantic than this.<\/p>\nSure, the basic \u201cBeauty and the Beast\u201d elements are at work here. They will always work. I\u2019m not going to deny that the Power of Myth is at work in this story. What disappoints me is how poorly it is developed, how many opportunities for thoughtful storytelling are bypassed for the sake of including long sequences that amount to \u201cHow far can we go without actually fornicating?\u201d If you want a good vampire story involving a fascinating, monstrous vampire and an engaging heroine, check out Robin McKinley\u2019s book Sunshine<\/em>. Now THAT would make an interesting movie!<\/p>\nBut don\u2019t tell me that this is a love story. This is a lust story. You have to get to know someone to really be \u201cin love\u201d with them. Otherwise, it\u2019s just hormones. Good luck with everything after.<\/p>\n
Remember the lesson of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind<\/em>? If we make hasty commitments in the rush of infatuation, we\u2019re in trouble. We need to be ready to \u201ccarry each other\u201d (as the song says), and to live with and love the brokennes and the rough edges. These two are already saying \u201cYou are my life\u201d before they\u2019ve seen past the pretty facade. Bella is pledging herself to a stranger, drawn only by his burdened expression, his high David Lynch forehead, and his gel-sculpted hair. (Sure, he saves her life, but only after she\u2019s already smitten.)<\/p>\nI cannot think of a weaker female \u201cheroine\u201d than Bella. She cannot do anything for herself\u2014anything. <\/em>She can only surrender to her ill-advised infatuation. She lectures one of her friends on being an empowered, independent woman, but cannot put that into practice herself. I\u2019ve known girls just like her. They did not end up in healthy relationships. They ended up getting hurt again and again by guys who were alluring and exciting, but eventually abusive and selfish.<\/p>\nThese days, it seems the every successive generation gets its repackaging of the Vampire Story as Romance. Those who enjoyed the Buffy phenomenon were treated to some remarkable pleasures and some memorable storytelling, not to mention spectacularly creative television. Based on what I\u2019ve seen so far, this new generation\u2019s inspired by the same inspiring material, but their version is sub-standard and misguided.<\/p>\n
There\u2019s nothing wrong with a good vampire story, or a story about redeemable monsters. But this film splashes around in the shallowest end of the pool of love stories. Or better, it only dips its toes in, inclining us to follow our emotions. Some may claim it\u2019s about being open-minded toward one another. To me, it looked like Bella\u2019s mind was so open that her brain fell out.<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t be surprised if your teenage daughter envisions herself as Bella, and justifies her attraction to the reckless-driving, emotionally unstable, explosive rebel of her class. She\u2019ll tell you that you just don\u2019t understand\u2026 that he\u2019s just misunderstood\u2026 and that they are hopelessly and unconditionally in love. A few years down the road, I\u2019ll be interested to check back in with them and ask, \u201cAnd how is that working out for you?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
UPDATE: An alternate script for Twilight. Yes, I\u2019ve seen Twilight.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1051,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[348,1518],"class_list":["post-49682","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","tag-stephenie-meyer","tag-twilight"],"yoast_head":"\n
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