Karen Bowlby<\/a>.<\/p>\n\u201cI believe in God.<\/p>\n
Not just any God \u2013
\nNot that anything goes,
\nSpiritual but not religious,
\nPolitically correct,
\nDon\u2019t want to offend anyone
\nAnything but the God you think of when I say God \u2013<\/p>\n
You know \u2013 the one that hates abortion,
\nFags, and anyone different<\/p>\n
No \u2013 I believe in that God
\nThe God
\nThe one who did the whole Jesus-thing,
\nThe one that beget all the Bible-beaters, and Republicans
\nThat God, that\u2019s the one.<\/p>\n
And perhaps that doesn\u2019t strike you as odd.<\/p>\n
After all, you \u2013
\nAll of you
\nEvery single one of you looking me in the eyes right now
\nJust judged me
\nSized me up \u2013
\nLittle white girl, privileged,
\nEasy for her to stand there,
\nSay she believes in that God<\/p>\n
Hell, people like her created that God,
\nCreated Him to keep other people in their place,
\nShe\u2019s one of them, that makes sense<\/p>\n
And it would make sense
\nIt did make sense \u2013 for about 28 years
\nAnd then it stopped making sense
\nRight about the same day I came out<\/p>\n
Caught the gay
\nThe homo-sexuality
\nYears in the making, but nothing unusual there
\nJust another dyke with a story
\nExcept\u2026<\/p>\n
I still believe in God
\nYeah \u2013 in that God,<\/p>\n
And that makes my life uneasy,
\nDissonant,
\nAnd I try to find ways to ease that dissonance<\/p>\n
I lie
\nI hide
\nAnd I reason that everyone lies and hides to a degree anyway<\/p>\n
But then I hear God
\nFeel him walking through the garden in the cool of the evening
\nAnd I feel Him see me
\nSense His eyes piercing through me into my soul \u2013
\nThe one thing I can\u2019t find on my own,
\nAnd it\u2019s probably a good thing that I can\u2019t, cause I\u2019d hide that, too,
\nAnd I shift in my hiding place
\nNervous
\nAwaiting a verdict I\u2019ve spent my whole life preparing for<\/p>\n
And then I feel him open his mouth
\nTake a deep breath
\nI brace for impact and hear
\n\u201cIt is good\u201d<\/p>\n
Stunned, speechless,
\nThese are the moments I look around
\nThinking He must have made a mistake
\nPerhaps He doesn\u2019t see so well these days<\/p>\n
He is, after all,
\nMillenniums old,
\nAnd I am, after all,
\nA lesbian
\nDyke
\nQueer<\/p>\n
And so these are also the moments I protest
\nI point out what everyone else seems to know
\nEveryone but Him
\nAnd He speaks again
\n\u201cYou are good\u201d
\n\u201cLovely\u201d<\/p>\n
And I laugh
\nI argue
\nI quote those verses \u2013 His words, not mine
\nLeviticus,
\nSodom and Gomorrah
\nBut He doesn\u2019t respond
\nAnd I always, always think \u2013
\n\u201cSee?\u201d<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve won.
\nHere in the garden, in my nakedness,
\nI have argued with the Creator of the Universe
\nAnd I have won
\nAnd He laughs
\nHe hears my thoughts
\nAnd He moves towards me,
\nCloser,
\nArms outstretched
\nAnd I protest<\/p>\n
I protest \u2013
\nHe is God \u2013 and I am\u2026 nothing.
\nFilthy.
\nDirty.
\nSin.<\/p>\n
And He speaks
\n\u201cYou are good\u201d
\nAnd I question if He forgot that I come from
\nDust<\/p>\n
These are the moments I look down
\nI can not meet His eyes,
\nBut I can feel His touch
\nEverywhere in my nakedness \u2013 but no longer naked<\/p>\n
Fully-clothed,
\nStatus-restored
\nAnd I wonder what it means about
\nWho I thought He was
\nAnd who He is
\nAnd if He also gets tired of
\nThe labels
\nThe words
\nThe actions
\nThe hate
\nWe ascribe as His.\u201d<\/p>\n
Much love.
\nwww.themarinfoundation.org<\/a><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Here is another poem by our great friend Karen Bowlby. \u201cI believe in God. Not just any God \u2013 Not that anything goes, Spiritual but not religious, Politically correct, Don\u2019t want to offend anyone Anything but the God you think of when I say God \u2013 You know \u2013 the one that hates abortion, Fags, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1306,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[126,153],"tags":[174],"class_list":["post-2769","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-guest-posts","category-sexuality","tag-poetry"],"yoast_head":"\n
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