this<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\nSally was wearing her sarong, a Christmas gift. It was light, colorful, and silky, a rectangular piece of cloth wrapped around her body and tied behind her neck. Outside, though, the snow was almost six inches deep and still coming down.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know you love your sarong, but we\u2019re going out and it\u2019s winter and it\u2019s cold and there\u2019s snow outside, so you really do need to wear warmer clothes. I\u2019m going to get dressed first, and then I\u2019ll call you to pick out an outfit.\u201d<\/p>\n
Sally ran off, clearly not happy with the situation. When I had finished dressing, she returned.<\/p>\n
\u201cMommy, how about I wear warm clothes underneath my sarong!\u201d<\/p>\n
If there\u2019s one thing to be said about Sally, it\u2019s that she understands that she and I are on the same team. And, she\u2019s a problem solver. She\u2019s only in preschool, but she already knows how to find ways to balance her needs with others\u2019needs and find a compromise acceptable to all. And in our house, rather than simply stressing obedience, we encourage her to think, empathize, and problem solve. And she does<\/em>.<\/p>\nHere\u2019s another exchange from earlier in the same day:<\/p>\n
\u201cSally, you got that breakfast all over you! How about we go into the bathroom and\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo! I don\u2019t want a bath! I don\u2019t like that plan!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHoney, wait, let me finish telling you my plan and then you can tell yours.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOkay.\u201d Sally stopped objecting and opted to listen.<\/p>\n
\u201cI need a shower anyway, so how about we both head to the bathroom and take a shower together? That\u2019s my plan idea. What plan do you have to suggest?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow about go into the bathroom and you wipe off my hands and face,\u201d Sally answered. \u201cI don\u2019t want to take a shower. If you wipe me off I will be clean.\u201d<\/p>\n
In the end, Sally ended up taking a bath with her brother Bobby after I showered.<\/p>\n
While I do overtly teach Sally about comparing needs and desires and finding compromises, some of this is just stuff she has picked up from watching Sean and I. When we have an evening or a weekend ahead of us, Sean and I will take a moment to discuss \u201cthe plan.\u201d We offer suggestions \u2013 a trip to the Y, a family supper, a game, a cleaning project, the latest episode of our favorite TV show \u2013 and then collaboratively hammer out a plan. We include Sally in this process, and she has taken it very much to heart.<\/p>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/166\/2013\/01\/Sally-e1357483042289.jpg\" "\\"Sally\\"")
<\/a>Critical thinking, the art of compromise, and the understanding that everyone has needs to be considered \u2013 these are some of the most important things I want to teach Sally. And I don\u2019t think I have to wait some nebulous amount of time for her to be \u201cold enough\u201d to understand these concepts. Kids are quite often smarter and more capable than we give them credit for. And so, even at this early age, Sally has learned that she is a valued member of our family, that her opinions and feelings matter, and that she\u2019s not too little to do her own thinking.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Sally may only be in preschool, but we are already working to teach her critical thinking, the art of compromise, and the understanding that everyone has needs to be considered. Even at this early age, Sally has learned that she is a valued member of our family, that her opinions and feelings matter, and that she’s not too little to do her own thinking. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":845,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[108],"tags":[143],"class_list":["post-11606","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting","tag-positive-parenting"],"yoast_head":"\n
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![\"\"](\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/166\/2013\/01\/snow.jpg\" "\\"snow\\"")
<\/a>\u201cSally, it\u2019s cold outside and we\u2019re about to go out. I would like you to put on some warm clothes.\u201d<\/p>\n