using google<\/a>. Men are confused, these articles say. To hold the door or not hold the door? Women don\u2019t know how to say thank you and accept such \u201cchivalry\u201d\u00a0graciously\u00a0 these articles say. But I have to ask. Can\u2019t we all just be people? Is that really so very difficult? Why do we have to make everything about gender?<\/p>\nToday I hold the door for people all the time. If I\u2019m there, and it\u2019s not going out of my way, why in the world wouldn\u2019t I? I hold the door for women, and I hold the door for men\u2014honestly, gender doesn\u2019t even cross my mind when I do it. I\u2019m just trying to be nice<\/em>. And if I see someone coming with a box, or a stroller, or what have you, I hold the door even if it means going out of my way. The thing that I\u00a0don\u2019t<\/em> do is determine whether I hold a door for someone by that person\u2019s gender<\/em>. Why in the world would I? It\u2019s simply about treating others as you would have them treat you.<\/p>\nI ride the bus a lot. That\u2019s pretty common when you work and study on a university campus. Anyway, when I was massively pregnant with Bobby, it was quite common for someone to give up a seat for me on the bus. Good thing, too, because by that point standing for long stretches of time can take their tole. But now, as a very un-pregnant able-bodied woman? I neither expect nor want people to give up their seats for me on the bus. Why would I? And today, I myself give up my seat if someone who is elderly, or disabled, or pregnant, or accompanied by young children comes on the bus. That\u2019s needs-based,<\/em> not gender-based<\/em>. Am I the only one who thinks this doesn\u2019t sound all that complicated?<\/p>\nBeing female doesn\u2019t make me need someone to hold the door open for me, or give up their seat on the bus for me. In contrast, there is every reason to help someone out by holding the door open behind you, or to go out of the way to get a door for someone with a box or stroller or give up seating on a bus for someone who needs it more than I do. It\u2019s called being a decent human being<\/em>. It\u2019s called treating others as we would like to be treated<\/em>.<\/p>\nThere\u2019s nothing lost by throwing out gender-based chivalry and replacing it with a respect for each other\u2019s basic humanity, and it\u2019s really not that complicated. I promise.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Chivalry. There was a time when men opened doors for women, but now we have lost all of that. Honor, bravery, chivalry. And now, if a guy holds a door for a woman he has to worry about the possibility of being dressed down for his effort by a man-hating feminist. Or so goes the narrative I was taught growing up in an overtly patriarchal home.<\/i> But today I have to ask: Can’t we all just be people? Is that really so hard?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":845,"featured_media":27925,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[135],"class_list":["post-12937","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-christian-patriarchy","tag-gender"],"yoast_head":"\nOn Chivalry, Opening Doors, and Basic Humanity<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Chivalry. 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