{"id":15653,"date":"2013-06-10T05:40:06","date_gmt":"2013-06-10T09:40:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/?p=15653"},"modified":"2013-06-10T07:49:11","modified_gmt":"2013-06-10T11:49:11","slug":"in-which-sally-grasps-contraception","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2013\/06\/in-which-sally-grasps-contraception.html","title":{"rendered":"In Which Sally Grasps Contraception"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\u201cMommy, what\u2019s this?\u201d<\/p>\n

In her hand Sally held a condom, still in its wrapper. Sean had cleaned out his desk earlier in the day, and it had somehow ended up on the floor, a leftover from last summer between when Bobby was born and when I had my IUD put in. I could have just brushed the question off with a non-answer\u2014Sally\u2019s only in preschool, by the way\u2014but I decided against that. Instead, I pulled out my copy of Our Bodies Ourselves<\/em> and showed Sally diagrams of the female reproductive system. Some of this was stuff I\u2019d told her before, but some of it was new.<\/p>\n

I told Sally that women\u2019s ovaries release eggs, and men\u2019s testicles make sperm. I showed her anatomy illustrations of both. I told her that when an egg and a sperm come together, they make a seed called a zygote. I showed her pictures, pulling them up on the internet. I told her that this seed then implants in a woman\u2019s uterus and grows into a baby. I showed her pictures of fetal development, moving from one stage to the next.<\/p>\n

I told Sally how the sperm gets to the egg. I told her that an egg is released each month from the ovaries and showed her the path it follows. I told her that when a man and a woman have sex\u2014which is something grownups do\u2014the man puts his penis in the woman\u2019s vagina, and that sperm come out through his penis and go into her vagina, and up into her uterus. I traced the sperm\u2019s path, and showed her where the sperm and the egg find each other to become a zygote.<\/p>\n

I told Sally that sometimes people want to have sex just because it feels good, and they don\u2019t want to grow a baby. I told her that in this case, they have to find a way to keep the sperm and the egg from finding each other. I told her that condoms were one way to do that. I told her that the condom goes over a man\u2019s penis, and that way when the sperm come out of the penis it blocks them so they can\u2019t get inside the woman, and can\u2019t find the egg. I told her that Sean and I didn\u2019t need to use condoms anymore, because I had an IUD. I found a picture of an IUD, and a picture of an illustration of an IUD in a woman\u2019s uterus.<\/p>\n

I told Sally that sometimes attempts to keep the sperm from getting to an egg don\u2019t work, and they get together anyway, and form a zygote, a seed that will implant in the uterus and start growing into a baby. I told her that if this happens but a woman doesn\u2019t want a baby, she can have an abortion, and I found an illustration in Our Bodies, Ourselves<\/em> to show her. I told her that an abortion is where a doctor removes the seed so it won\u2019t keep growing into a baby.<\/p>\n

And then finally, after all of this, I paused. Sally had listened raptly, searching the pages of Our Bodies, Ourselves<\/em> for more pictures\u2014but she had said little. And now, finally, she spoke.<\/p>\n

\u201cMommy, there\u2019s just one problem.\u201d She looked concerned.<\/p>\n

A problem? What was this problem that had her so worried? Was she going to tell me that this whole thing was disgusting? Was she going to ask why someone would ever not want a baby? Was she going to tell me that the entire concept of abortion was horrifying? (Someone once told me that every young child would be repulsed on learning what abortion was, since they would make the connections between themselves<\/em> and aborted pregnancies.) Wondering what it was Sally found so concerning about this whole discussion, I turned to look right in her eyes and give her my full attention.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe sperms could get over the top<\/em> of your IUD!\u201d she announced, her voice full of concern. \u201cAnd they want to get to the egg, and they could do it!\u201d\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

And this is when I realized that while I\u2019d explained barrier methods of contraception, I hadn\u2019t explained hormonal<\/em> methods. And so I did\u2014I told Sally that my IUD has hormones that make it so that a woman\u2019s body doesn\u2019t release any eggs, so that when the sperm come in there are no eggs for them to find. I told her that other methods of contraception have hormones too, such as pills and shots and implants. And that seemed to satisfy her concern. And once we finished, her curiosity over the condom she\u2019d found sated with honest answers, she brought me a storybook to read and we closed the door on the subject\u2014at least for now.<\/p>\n

Sally learned a lot that day, and so did I. I learned that even preschoolers aren\u2019t too young to understand contraception.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“Mommy, what’s this?” In her hand Sally held a condom, still in its wrapper. Sean had cleaned out his desk earlier in the day, and it had somehow ended up on the floor, a leftover from last summer between when Bobby was born and when I had my IUD put in. I could have just brushed the question off with a non-answer—Sally’s only in preschool, by the way—but I decided against that. Instead, I pulled out my copy of Our Bodies Ourselves.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":845,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[43,108],"tags":[105,133],"class_list":["post-15653","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family","category-parenting","tag-sex-2","tag-sex-education"],"yoast_head":"\nIn Which Sally Grasps Contraception<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\""Mommy, what's this?" In her hand Sally held a condom, still in its wrapper. 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