{"id":189,"date":"2012-01-02T10:26:00","date_gmt":"2012-01-02T14:26:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2012\/01\/atheism-through-the-holidays-part-4-how-to-deal-with-religious-relatives\/"},"modified":"2012-08-10T00:28:00","modified_gmt":"2012-08-10T04:28:00","slug":"atheism-through-the-holidays-part-4-how-to-deal-with-religious-relatives","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2012\/01\/atheism-through-the-holidays-part-4-how-to-deal-with-religious-relatives.html","title":{"rendered":"Atheism through the holidays, part 4: How to deal with religious relatives"},"content":{"rendered":"<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><head><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/head><body><p><span style=\"font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;\">I know this is late \u2013 the holidays are now over \u2013 but I don\u2019t really have all that much experience with this one, having only been an atheist for a few years, and I wanted to let another holiday season go by before addressing it. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;\">When it comes to dealing with religious relatives during the holidays, my biggest strategy is simply keeping my mouth shut. First of all, some of my relatives know I\u2019m an atheist while others don\u2019t, which makes things complicated and makes keeping my own counsel easier. Secondly, the fact that I don\u2019t believe the stories doesn\u2019t mean that they don\u2019t mean something important for Christians, and I don\u2019t see the point of trying to mess that up through scoffing or mockery. Finally, the reality is that saying something will often result in huge arguments or confrontations, something I prefer to avoid over the holidays. And so, I keep my mouth shut. <\/span><\/p>\n<div style='font-family: Georgia,\"Times New Roman\",serif;'><span style=\"font-size: small;\">The thing is, having a child makes this whole thing more complicated. <\/span><\/div>\n<p><a name=\"more\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\"><\/a><span style=\"font-size: small;\"> <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;\">What do you do when you walk into a room and see a religious relative reading your child a children\u2019s book about the crucifixion of Jesus? <\/span><span style=\"font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;\">(<\/span><span style=\"font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;\">My only consolation is that my daughter had the most skeptical look on her face I have <em>ever <\/em>seen).<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;\">What do you do when you see a religious relative playing with a toy nativity set with your child, explaining the Christmas story and what each figure was and did?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;\">What do you do about the fact that your child doesn\u2019t know what prayer is, but is suddenly expected to fold her hands and be quiet during prayer before meals? <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;\">So far, I don\u2019t have any real answers. This is something I\u2019m still figuring out. This holiday season, I didn\u2019t make a big deal of things, even when they involved my child. Sally may have heard some funny stories, and she now knows that the baby in the manger of a nativity scene is \u201cbaby Jesus,\u201d but I don\u2019t think she sees these stories any differently from stories about Thomas the Tank Engine or Elmo or the myriad books we read to her. So far she\u2019s young enough to easily pick up on things like prayer before meals, dutifully holding hands with those sitting by her and remaining silent. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;\">The difficulty will be the future. As she grows older, I will make sure to prepare her for spending time with religious relatives over the holidays by explaining what her grandparents, aunts, and uncles believe and that we need to be tactful and understanding of others beliefs regardless of what we ourselves believe. Beyond that, I don\u2019t know. <\/span><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I know this is late \u2013 the holidays are now over \u2013 but I don\u2019t really have all that much experience with this one, having only been an atheist for a few years, and I wanted to let another holiday season go by before addressing it. When it comes to dealing with religious relatives during [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":845,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,43],"tags":[107,187],"class_list":["post-189","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-atheism","category-family","tag-holidays","tag-parenting-without-god"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Atheism through the holidays, part 4: How to deal with religious relatives<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I know this is late - the holidays are now over - but I don&#039;t really have all that much experience with this one, having only been an atheist for a few\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2012\/01\/atheism-through-the-holidays-part-4-how-to-deal-with-religious-relatives.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Atheism through the holidays, part 4: How to deal with religious relatives\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I know this is late - 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