By Aletha<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n Originally posted on Yllom Mormon<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n Created To Need A Help Meet<\/a>, pp. 158\u2014159<\/strong><\/p>\n Last\u00a0post\u00a0I was rather in shock because I agreed with Michael the entire section. Well, not to worry because he\u2019s back to his old self in this section. There\u2019s a heavy dose of \u201cwhat\u2019s wrong with the woman\u201d and everyone\u2019s favourite scripture passage. And by everyone\u2019s, I mean Michael\u2019s. Here we go!<\/p>\n Spots, Wrinkles, and Blemishes<\/strong><\/p>\n The ministry of Christ to his bride is that of removing spots, wrinkles, and blemishes. I print the text again because it is so very important that you maintain your focus on what God says.<\/p>\n Ephesians 5:25-27 Ugh. \u00a0I am so very, very tired of these verses. Not only because Michael is taking them out of historical context and twisting them to fit his ideals, but because there\u2019s only so much one can squeeze out of 3 verses. Also, I\u2019m not a fan of bludgeoning people over the head with scripture. I guess I\u2019m reviewing the wrong book, then!<\/p>\n Note once again, the context for this passage is \u201cHusbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the Church, and gave himself for it\u2026\u201d The purpose of this passage is not to reveal how Christ loved the church, but to give us an example of how a husband should love his wife. We have seen how he should sanctify and cleanse her with his words. Now we examine the nature of a husband\u2019s ministry.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Yes. Let\u2019s look at the context for this passage.\u00a0Here<\/a>\u00a0are a\u00a0few<\/a>\u00a0background pages about these verses. Succinctly, historically, Paul was talking to Romans who grew up with a different set of values and ideas about familial leadership than did Jews.\u00a0Unlike Michael\u2019s idea that this section is to husbands, it is actually helping to explain how much Christ loved the church\u2014by comparing it to something that Romans understood: household codes. \u00a0(If I\u2019m incorrect, please let me know)<\/p>\n The point being that Michael is teaching these verses backwards. These verses weren\u2019t intended to be an exhortation to husbands, but rather to help non-Jews to understand Christ\u2019s love and devotion. Not only is Michael misinterpreting the passage, but he is doing so in a way that is damaging to everyone in the family.<\/p>\n I just love the Word of God. It is composed of perfect words, in the Received Text that is. The same cannot be said of commercial versions like the NIV and 200 other English perversions. The Holy Spirit has inspired this description of man\u2019s ministry-spots, wrinkles, and blemishes. Everything that is wrong with your wife is summed up in these three words.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Ah yes. Once again, we are told that the King James is the ONLY true version of the Bible.\u00a0Here<\/a>\u00a0are a few\u00a0links<\/a>\u00a0from Michael explaining how he arrived at this conclusion. (Bonus: the second link is a video!) I\u2019m not even going to get into translation errors, biases, missing manuscripts and changes that have been made to every installment of the Bible.<\/p>\n Oh! And how lovely it is that everything that is wrong with a wife (Everything that the man disagrees with, in other words) can be summed up in three insulting words. In case you\u2019re curious, please do not tell your spouse that they are blemished, spotted, or wrinkled-in body or in spirit- unless you want an argument.<\/p>\n Spots are foreign matter that stains. They are not inherent. They are the result of carelessness or misuse. They stand out because they do not belong. They speak of a former event when something went wrong and the stain is left on the garment for all to see.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n I\u2019m getting the strong feeling that Michael is talking about pre-marital sex here. Anyone else? Contrary to Michael\u2019s belief, premarital sex does not end with an \u201cA\u201d branded into the forehead. It is also possible for a woman to agree to sex before marriage without it staining the rest of her life. When I was a teenager growing up Mormon, I was also told that sex before marriage was terrible. But there was the caveat of repentance. Apparently God forgives. I think someone should let Michael in on that secret, because the God he preaches doesn\u2019t forgive, forget, or let go. Just judges and moves on to the next sinner.<\/p>\n Wrinkles result from disuse.\u00a0They are there to testify that the garment has not seen the light of day. It has been safely tucked away and not had a chance to get spotted by the world. A wrinkled garment is a protected garment, \u00a0but apparently not well favored.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n I did laundry two days ago and left the clothes in the dryer since then. They weren\u2019t all the way dry when the cycle was over, and do you know what happened? When I opened the dryer this morning, the clothes were wrinkled! Not from disuse, but from absentmindedness. In fact, I can think of about 3 more ways that clothes can get wrinkled besides being safely tucked away.<\/p>\n His analogies are a bit confusing. I get that he thinks women should be \u201csafely tucked away\u201d from the spots of the world. I disagree, but I understand what he\u2019s saying. But I don\u2019t understand why a woman who is protected in this manner is not well favored. Can anyone explain this to me, please?<\/p>\n A blemished garment is one that has an inherent flaw. It was never perfect. It has always been marred by nature. Blemished garments are not usually put on the front shelf. They are not worn on special\u00a0occasions. They must\u00a0be kept at home and used for practical purposes lest the wearer be\u00a0embarrassed\u00a0in public.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Holy cow. First off, why would you choose to marry someone who you believe is flawed in a way that is so dramatic, you fear to take them in public because they would embarrass you? Secondly, the kept at home and used for practical purposes line made my blood run cold. What kind of \u201cpractical purposes\u201d does Michael mean? I think we all can guess. Ick ick ick.<\/p>\n Wow! Isn\u2019t God smart? And he never even got a degree in psychology.\u00a0Consider\u00a0all that is wrong with your wife: She\u00a0is either\u00a0spotted\u00a0by the world through experiences that have left her with guilt, shame, or emotional issues,<\/p><\/blockquote>\n That darn psychology-people gettin\u2019 that book learnin\u2019 and talkin\u2019 nonsense. Oh, and I\u2019m sure focusing on all that is wrong with your spouse is the best way to improve the relationship. If I have, in my head, a list of my husbands failings, then that\u2019s all I\u2019m going to notice. I will take for granted the way he opens my car door, tells me I\u2019m beautiful, and washes dishes, because those don\u2019t matter as much as the negative things. Focusing on the bad is the quickest way to become unhappy-and it shouldn\u2019t take a psychologist to tell you that.<\/p>\n Another thing that grated on me is that Michael seems to assume that every pre-marital sexual act is consensual. There is no caveat for those women who are sexually abused, raped, or coerced. There\u2019s no directive to get a woman with sexual issues help. No exhorting extra patience, kindness, or gentleness to someone who has been sexually scarred. (And growing up thinking SEX IS EVIL BEFORE MARRIAGE is sexually scarring). Just \u201cyour wife is spotted by sex and you need to clean \u2018er up\u201d.<\/p>\n or she is\u00a0wrinkled\u00a0from having been cloistered like a slave and never allowed to develop as a person. She is wrinkled with hidden talents and gifts never developed. She is a wasted resource. Her husband soars higher while she stoops to scrub floors.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n So women should be allowed to develop as a person, but then it\u2019s the man\u2019s job to change her to the person he needs. Wouldn\u2019t it be easier to never let the woman grow until she\u2019s married, and then the husband prune her to his satisfaction? (Not that I agree with this theory at all) And Michael has made it clear earlier in the book that the only appropriate talents and gifts are ones that the man approves of.<\/p>\n Oh, and lovely imagery there. A wasted resource. Like oil, food, or electricity-a woman\u2019s value is strictly based on her performance, not herself.<\/p>\n Or a wife may be blemished from birth or from limitations placed upon her in her developing years. Her very personality is flawed, or her social skills are clumsy, or her motherly instincts are missing, or she is gawky and clumsy by nature. She could have a low IQ or be physically or mentally impaired. There are many ways a woman can come to maturity with blemishes that are part of her very body and soul.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Ugh. This paragraph makes me so upset that I am not even going to say anything about it. Sound off in the comments!<\/p>\n A proud husband may be ashamed of his wife\u2019s moral spots or be\u00a0embarrassed\u00a0by her\u00a0social\u00a0wrinkles, or he may\u00a0have\u00a0pity on her for the imperfections of her blemishes. Know for certain, his dissatisfaction is quite apparent to her, exacerbating the problems, causing her to either retreat or fight for the respect she deserves, leaving both in an unhappy marriage.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n When you think of your significant other, how often do the words \u201cashamed, embarrassed, or pity\u201d pop into your head? Hardly ever, hopefully. Oh, sure, one can be embarrassed by the way their spouse acts. But having a relationship with someone you consistently deem as less than you isn\u2019t healthy for either. It\u2019s kind of like the idea of marrying someone to change them-because you, obviously, know what\u2019s best for them.<\/p>\n Wait a second\u2026that is Michael\u2019s philosophy. Simply by being a man, one is gifted with discernment enough to \u201cfix\u201d his wife. And women, you know you need fixing! So just let the man do his job, and you\u2019ll both have a happy marriage. \/snark<\/p>\n I know of no young bride coming to marriage without some spot, wrinkle, or blemish. Some are unspotted by the world, but wrinkled from lack of experience. Others may be spotted but far from wrinkled. Still others may be neither spotted nor wrinkled, but blemished. Unless you marry a 60 year old widow that has already gone through a sanctifying process, your new bride will need sanctifying in one or more areas, and the process wont\u2019 be complete on your first anniversary.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n What about the young men? If women can be spotted, blemished, or wrinkled, why can\u2019t men? Surely any sexual acts on his part prior to marriage is equally spotting? Or if the man is feeble-minded or cloistered? Michael doesn\u2019t even address those ideas.<\/p>\n The more I read, the more it seems that Michael thinks men are inherently perfect. Oh, sure, they have some issues they should work on (unless he\u2019s a Command Man), but in general, they always make good choices and do what\u2019s right. If one believes that rationale, then it\u2019s logical to assume that women are inherently imperfect and need to be fixed. This idea is toxic to both men and women, and yet Michael treats it like it\u2019s God\u2019s truth.<\/p>\n I have many flaws, but I\u2019d rather believe they\u2019re because I was born human than that I was born female. Because thinking like that automatically makes my judgement less sound, my opinions less valid, and my person-hood less than that of a man\u2019s. Which is exactly how Michael appears to view woman. How sad for his wife!<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" By Aletha.<\/i> So women should be allowed to develop as a person, but then it’s the man’s job to change her to the person he needs. Wouldn’t it be easier to never let the woman grow until she’s married, and then the husband prune her to his satisfaction? (Not that I agree with this theory at all) And Michael has made it clear earlier in the book that the only appropriate talents and gifts are ones that the man approves of.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":845,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[354],"class_list":["post-21187","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-created-to-need-a-help-meet"],"yoast_head":"\n
\n25-Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
\n26-That he might\u00a0sanctify and cleanse\u00a0it with the washing of the word,
\n27-That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not\u00a0having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and\u00a0without blemish.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n