More than two years ago I wrote a blog post titled My Concerns about the Duggars<\/a>. To this day it continues getting hundreds of hits daily, along with the random comment. Probably half of the comments left on it defend the Duggars as upright, responsible people raising healthy, well-adjusted young people. These comments often lash out\u00a0against me, calling me bitter and so forth. I\u2019ve often thought of responding to these comments with further blog posts, but so far I haven\u2019t.<\/p>\n Today that changes. This post consists of four parts, which deal with the Duggars\u2019 subculture, \u00a0the argument that they are happy so nothing must be wrong, the idea that the Duggar parents\u00a0are teaching their children \u201cresponsibility,\u201d and something many who watch their show may be familiar with\u2014that the Duggars believe in shunning (i.e. cutting off all contact with) rebellious adult children.<\/p>\n In this post\u00a0I want to write specifically to what I call \u201cDuggar Defenders.\u201d<\/p>\n *****<\/p>\n You likely\u00a0think you\u00a0know all they need to know about the Duggars from watching the TV show. First of all, this is not how TV works. But that\u00a0isn\u2019t the only issue.\u00a0The problem real here is that you very likely do not understand the Duggar\u2019s subculture<\/strong>. You assume that they are a typical American family with an extra 16 children. You assume that your<\/em> culture is their<\/em> culture. It is not.<\/p>\n The Duggars are part of a very specific subculture of the Christian homeschooling world, one dominated by leaders like Doug Phillips of Vision Forum and Bill Gothard of ATI, whose incredibly restrictive teachings and controlling practices have earned them the adjective \u201ccult-like.\u201d These organizations and leaders teach that children must be trained to obey their parents completely, without question,\u00a0and with a smile;\u00a0that women are not to have careers and that daughters should be actively discouraged from considering such; that adult daughters must continue to obey their fathers and must marry through parent-controlled courtships; that college attendance is problematic for children of either gender but especially for girls;\u00a0and that marrying and having large numbers of children is the only godly path available.<\/p>\n Within the last year, Doug Phillips has been outed for sexually abusing a young female employee and Bill Gothard was exposed for decades of sexually grooming the teenage girls sent to him by their parents for instruction. In spite of their close ties to both men, the Duggars have yet, to my knowledge, to speak a word against either.<\/p>\n While some pictures appear to be scrubbed, you can still find photos of the Duggars with both Doug Phillips and Bill Gothard online. For example, you can find a picture of Jim Bob and Michelle with Doug Phillips and his wife Beall here<\/a>, a picture of the older Duggar girls with Doug Phillips toward the end of this post here<\/a>, and a photo of the older Duggar girls with Bill Gothard at the end of this post here<\/a>.<\/p>\n I have heard some of you\u00a0argue that the Duggars are no longer following all of Phillip\u2019s and Gothard\u2019s rules. This doesn\u2019t fly with me. If this is the case,\u00a0the Duggars have been promoters of both men for so long that they really have a responsibility to speak out here. But more than that, I don\u2019t see it. Yes, the Duggar girls are dressing more trendily today than they did ten years ago, but they\u2019re not wearing anything the older Phillips girls wouldn\u2019t have been\u00a0seen in\u2014or anything I wouldn\u2019t have worn. They\u2019re still keeping the code. When the Duggars send one of their daughters off to college, then I might believe that they are stepping away from these leaders and their teachings. Until then, pardon my skepticism.<\/p>\n As an aside, do you know why the Duggar girls curl their hair<\/a>? (Most of them have naturally straight hair, though you wouldn\u2019t know that from the pictures.) The\u00a0fact that\u00a0Bill Gothard taught that long, curly hair was godliest, because he had a kink for it<\/a>, probably has something to do with it.<\/p>\n I\u00a0grew up in the same culture as the Duggars. I was homeschooled, I was the oldest of 12 children, and my family was involved in or aware of each of the various ministries the Duggars are involved in. The Duggars parent the way my parents did, listen to the same ministries as my parents, and have the same general beliefs as my parents. You have to understand that the Duggars are not just your typical suburban family plus an extra sixteen children. The Duggars are part of a very distinct subculture, and that subculture has different rules and different norms. I know those rules and norms, because I lived them.<\/p>\n The Duggars are not shy about their associations. They have promoted Bill Gothard\u2019s ATI and Doug Phillips\u2019 Vision Forum for years. They also promote S. M. Davis\u2019 ministry, and have promoted Michael and Debi Pearl\u2019s To Train Up A Child<\/em> in the past. They are open about using Gothard\u2019s homeschool curriculum. This subculture is their home. They live it, they breathe it, they preach it. If you want to understand the Duggars\u2014what they believe and how they parent\u2014you have to understand that subculture. And I can promise you right now that it\u2019s more than sunshine and roses.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re not familiar with this subculture and want to learn more, I\u2019d recommend reading Recovering Grace<\/a>, and Rethinking Vision Forum<\/a>, and Homeschoolers Anonymous<\/a>, for starters, in addition to my own blog of course.<\/p>\n *****<\/p>\n I\u2019m told that the Duggar children are happy<\/strong>, so clearly my concerns are unjustified. But you know what? The fact that the Duggar children look<\/em> happy does not actually tell you anything about whether they are<\/em> happy. This sounds like a rather astounding statement on my part, doesn\u2019t it? Well bear with me! The Duggars follow parenting methods that teach that children should only ever be allowed to be cheerful, smiling, and happy. Yes, really<\/em>. Those are the only emotions that are permitted.<\/p>\n This song, the \u201cSmile Song,\u201d is sung at Bill Gothard\u2019s ATI conferences:<\/p>\n