{"id":22003,"date":"2014-06-08T09:43:26","date_gmt":"2014-06-08T13:43:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/?p=22003"},"modified":"2016-01-26T16:09:07","modified_gmt":"2016-01-26T20:09:07","slug":"dads-daughters-and-dating","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2014\/06\/dads-daughters-and-dating.html","title":{"rendered":"Dads, Daughters, and Dating"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

I saw this hat while grocery shopping last week:<\/p>\n

\n<\/p>

\"DADD\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Am I the only one who finds this profoundly disturbing?<\/p>\n

When Sean\u2019s youngest sister was a preteen, his dad used to joke with her about how she would be allowed to date the day she turned 30. She didn\u2019t find it funny, and neither did I.\u00a0Sean has a younger brother too, but I never heard his dad so much as say boo about him dating.<\/p>\n

My parents were pulled into the courtship movement in the late 1990s. As a result, my siblings and I were not allowed to date. We were expected to court. A young man was to choose a young woman to court and then approach her father for permission. Without his permission, it was a no-go. With his permission and the young woman\u2019s agreement, a courtship process, highly controlled and monitored by the young woman\u2019s father, would begin. The father could break it off and end the courtship at any time. Ultimately, the young man would ask the young woman\u2019s father\u2019s permission to marry her. With his permission and the assent of the young woman, a wedding would be planned.<\/p>\n

Honestly, this courtship process sounds like the \u201cDad\u2019s against Daughters Dating\u201d crew\u2019s wet-dream. And maybe that\u2019s why seeing that hat bothered me like it did\u2014because I\u2019ve been there. I know what it\u2019s like to have a father who thinks it\u2019s his right to have complete control over his daughter\u2019s romantic relationships, even after she reaches adulthood. And I know how that belief and the lack of trust it expresses can shred father-daughter relationships<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, googling \u201cDads against Daughters Dating\u201d \u00a0in preparation for this post took me down a very disturbing rabbit trail.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Seriously? In what world is this even remotely okay? This speaks not only to the need to control female sexuality but also to the prevalence of gun violence in our society.<\/p>\n

You may have seen a TV show where the first thing a man says when he finds out he\u2019s having a daughter is \u201cI better get a gun.\u201d I know I have. I\u2019ve heard that \u201cjoke\u201d made in person too, this \u201cjoke\u201d that any father with a daughter of dating age needs to have a good shotgun. You probably have too.<\/p>\n

Several months ago a picture of this shirt went around facebook:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Much to my relief, someone finally made a counter-meme:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

I\u2019m sick and tired of living in a culture that not only displays a profound distrust of young women and a strong need to control young women\u2019s sexuality but is also incredibly flippant about the use of gun violence against other males. Is it that hard to empower young women to make their own choices and give them the tools they need to back those choices up?<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m sick and tired of living in a culture that not only displays a profound distrust of young women and a strong need to control young women’s sexuality but is also incredibly flippant about the use of gun violence against other males. Is it that hard to empower young women to make their own choices and give them the tools they need to back those choices up? <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":845,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22003","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-feminism"],"yoast_head":"\nDads, Daughters, and Dating<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I'm sick and tired of living in a culture that not only displays a profound distrust of young women and a strong need to control young women's sexuality but is also incredibly flippant about the use of gun violence against other males. 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