Yesterday WORLD Magazine weighed in on Adrian Peterson\u2019s arrest for child abuse.<\/p>\n
A grand jury in Texas indicted star Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson and a warrant for his arrest was issued Friday by the Montgomery County (Texas) Sheriff\u2019s Office for \u201creckless or negligent injury to a child\u201d for the way he spanked his son.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Notice that last bit\u2014Peterson was arrested \u201cfor the way he spanked his son.\u201d Not for abusing his son. Not for leaving his son\u2019s body covered with bleeding lacerations still visible a week later. No. For the way he \u201cspanked\u201d his son.<\/p>\n
Peterson\u2019s attorney, Rusty Hardin, said Friday that Peterson cooperated with the investigation and never intended to injure to the boy, who is believed to be 4 years old.<\/span><\/p>\n
\u201cAdrian is a loving father who used his judgment as a parent to discipline his son,\u201d Hardin said of Peterson\u2019s use what some reports call a \u201cbranch,\u201d\u00a0or \u201cswitch,\u201d as Peterson called it, to spank his son. \u201cHe used the same kind of discipline with his child that he experienced as a child growing up in east Texas.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
WORLD continues to use the word \u201cspank\u201d to describe what Peterson did, and Peterson\u2019s attorney refers to it as \u201cdiscipline.\u201d Plenty of \u00a0othernews outlets have also been referring to what occurred as \u201cspanking\u201d and \u201cdiscipline.\u201d There is a big problem here both with definitions and with sanitation.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve had people argue that \u201cspanking\u201d\u00a0is appropriate and and should be allowed, and when asked what they mean they explain\u00a0that a quick swat with the hand after a child tries to run into the street can help get their attention and communicate the seriousness of their\u00a0action. Then I\u2019ve described what my parents called \u201cspanking\u201d\u2014being struck with a wooden paddle on my bare bottom\u00a0until I demonstrated proper penitence for my action\u2014and these same individuals have\u00a0insisted that that<\/em> is abuse, not \u201cspanking.\u201d And\u00a0while my parents consider they way they spanked completely nonabusive, they would have considered what Peterson did to his son abuse (my mother drew blood with a switch only once, and was so horrified that she stopped the session and apologized to the my brother\u00a0profusely). In other words, what the word \u201cspanking\u201d means\u2014and what considered abuse or simply\u00a0reasonable discipline\u2014varies from person to person.<\/p>\n
The word \u201cspanking\u201d sanitizes the action and papers over the differences in definition. When one person defends \u201cspanking,\u201d they are in a sense unwittingly defending all actions given the label \u201cspanking,\u201d including my parents\u2019 actions and Peterson\u2019s actions. We need to drop this word, or at very least not use it\u00a0without explaining what is meant. Those who think a quick swat with a hand in the moment should be legal but that what my parents did crossed a line need to make that clear. Similarly, those\u00a0who think that what my parents did should be legal but that Peterson\u2019s actions\u00a0crossed the line should likewise make that clear. I would say, \u201cI don\u2019t think hitting a child is ever okay.\u201d Another might say, \u201cI think hitting\u00a0a child with an open hand in the moment is fine, but I don\u2019t think hitting a child with an object or for long periods of time is okay.\u201d Another might say, \u201cI think hitting a child with a switch or paddle is fine, but I don\u2019t think it should be done in anger or\u00a0cause bruises or break the skin.\u201d This both adds clarity and removes the sanitizing affect of the word \u201cspanking.\u201d<\/p>\n
Personally, I am against hitting a child in any way. I think hitting a child should be against the law. If Peterson had done what he did to his son\u2014whipping him with a switch from a tree until his body was covered with\u00a0bleeding\u00a0lacerations\u2014to an adult instead, there would be no question that that was assault. But because hitting children is legal, we have to ask whether or not he \u201ccrossed the line\u201d\u2014and his lawyer\u00a0can argue that what he did falls under reasonable discipline.<\/p>\n
Another thing these\u00a0discussions of Peterson\u2019s charges have demonstrated is a stunning lack of understanding of what child abuse is and what child abusers look like. Most<\/em> child abusers claim that they are only doing to their children what their parents did to them. Most<\/em> child abusers insist that\u00a0they have never intended to injure their children. Most<\/em> child abusers argue that what they are doing is reasonable discipline. Peterson\u2019s lawyer is using these defenses because he knows<\/em> the public does not understand child abuse. And yet, the public tends to see\u00a0child abuse as something only\u00a0committed by\u00a0parents who dislike\u00a0their children and intend\u00a0to harm them out of malice.<\/p>\n
Back to WORLD Magazine for a moment:<\/p>\n
In what any other week might have been a fierce debate over when spanking becomes beating, Peterson\u2019s case finds itself squarely in the domestic violence controversy, caught between a public wanting someone to punish and a league desperately trying to protect its image.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Perhaps I should be pleased that WORLD acknowledges that a \u201cspanking\u201d can in some situations\u00a0become a \u201cbeating,\u201d but I\u2019m afraid I\u2019m caught up in WORLD\u2019s suggestion that Peterson is some kind of accidental victim\u00a0unintentionally caught\u00a0in the Ray Rice domestic violence \u201ccontroversy.\u201d<\/p>\n
Here is how WORLD described the child\u2019s injuries:<\/p>\n
Houston\u2019s CBS Radio affiliate\u00a0<\/span>released<\/a>\u00a0details from the police investigation, which has been ongoing since the child\u2019s doctor in Minnesota reported the injuries in May. The doctor\u2019s report describes welts and scratches with some scabbing on the child\u2019s back, buttocks, legs, and scrotum. Police said the child also had defensive wounds to his hands.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n
WORLD left out the word \u201cextensive,\u201d\u00a0but this description is otherwise accurate.<\/p>\n
The child\u2019s punishment was for pushing another child off a motorbike video or arcade game, the report said.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Peterson beat his son as punishment for pushing another child at a video arcade. This is going about things completely backwards. On a simply intuitive level, it should seem obvious that using\u00a0violence against a child communicates to that child that violence is an acceptable and appropriate part of society (and there are studies that show that this is indeed the case<\/a>). Using violence to teach a child not to be violent makes no sense.<\/p>\n
Beyond that, pushing another child at a video arcade is normal behavior for a 4-year-old. That doesn\u2019t make it acceptable, but it does make it understandable. What would I do in this situation? First, I\u00a0would\u00a0take the child aside. I would explain that yes, it can be hard to wait for your turn and that the noise of a video arcade can make it easy to get frustrated, but that pushing other children is not an acceptable way to express that frustration. I would ask\u00a0how would they feel if some other child pushed them. I would explain more appropriate ways to deal with their frustration\u2014asking an adult for help if the problem if the issue is sharing, or walking away to do something else if waiting their turn becomes so frustrating they have the urge to push or otherwise lash out. This conversation wouldn\u2019t be one-sided\u2014I would start by asking the child why they pushed the other child, and I would ask the child to help think of solutions to their frustration. My goal would be to hold a conversation rather than giving a lecture. We would model and practice, if needed. Then I would let the child go back to playing. If inappropriate behavior occurred again,\u00a0we would leave the video arcade,\u00a0and that would be part of the lesson\u2014we remove ourselves from situations where we can\u2019t trust ourselves to act appropriately. And yes, it\u2019s easy to say all this when I\u2019m not in the situation, but I\u2019ve gone through this process many times, and it works\u2014and leads to more actual learning than does pulling a child aside and hitting them.<\/p>\n