{"id":23915,"date":"2014-10-31T00:13:51","date_gmt":"2014-10-31T04:13:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/?p=23915"},"modified":"2014-10-31T00:13:51","modified_gmt":"2014-10-31T04:13:51","slug":"ctbhhm-blessings-and-vessels","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2014\/10\/ctbhhm-blessings-and-vessels.html","title":{"rendered":"CTBHHM: Blessings and Vessels"},"content":{"rendered":"<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC \"-\/\/W3C\/\/DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional\/\/EN\" \"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/TR\/REC-html40\/loose.dtd\">\n<html><head><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"><\/head><body><p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/tag\/created-to-be-his-help-meet\" class=\" decorated-link\" target=\"_blank\">Created To Be His Help Meet<\/a>, p. 291<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Today is the very last page of Created To Be His Help Meet.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong>In Closing<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>God is awesome and terrible in his judgements. He is also full of mercy, and of grace. His strong desire is to bless his people, but too often by our \u201ccarelessness,\u201d we force him to judge. I believe he wearies of judgement.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>By our \u201ccarelessness\u201d? That phrasing is just weird. It\u2019s like suggesting that child who is careless and spills something is forcing her mother to punish her. But that is so not so! As a mother, I often have a choice. I could reach for judgement, but I could also choose compassion, and walk my daughter through a learning process side by side rather than facing her with sternness. But then, Debi\u2019s God likely follows the methods in To Train Up A Child, where children must be broken rather than helped along.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>He is looking, searching, calling out to those who will hear him. He calls your name, just as long ago in the night hours he called the boy, Samuel. Just as he came to the handmaiden, Mary, he softly calls your name. Will you hear him?<\/p>\n<p>God is looking for help meets . . .<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>That did not end the way I was expecting it to end. This is the weird thing about Debi\u2019s entire book\u2014ostensibly it is all about doing God\u2019s will, but actually it is about getting women to do their husband\u2019s will. Protestants of old made a big deal about being face to face with God, contrasting themselves to Catholics, who placed priest in between as mediator (this is simplistic, but let\u2019s run with it). In a sense, Debi is going beyond even this, not putting husband as mediator so much as urging women to serve <em>husband<\/em> rather than <em>God<\/em>\u2014because for Debi, God has called women to serve their husbands, and that is\u00a0all he wants of them, and is his sole purpose for them.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>God is looking for help meets, ladies who will honor what he said in his \u201cletter of instructions,\u201d so he can use them as vessels of blessings. Blessings! He has so many blessings and so few willing vessels.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>When I first read this I thought it was talking about procreation. Given the next paragraph, though, I don\u2019t think it is.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>I can almost see him standing there, leaning over the portals of Heaven, watching, waiting, and listening for that lovely musical sound of joyful laughter wafting up through the heavens. \u201cYes, I hear one answering the call. Bring me the cup.\u201d An angel hands over the cup of chastisement and judgement, and God replies, \u201cNo, not THAT one; the large one full of blessings is what this little gal needs.\u201d And the angel smiles as he puts the large Blessings Cup into God\u2019s hands. Smiling, God begins to pour the blessings forth, spilling out blessings faster than they can be received. The angel leans over so he can see, and then he, too, hears the beautiful sound of thanksgiving floating upward as a sweet aroma to God. He is an Awesome God of blessings and delight. He is ever willing and ready to bless those who\u00a0honor him.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Note that Debi assumes that women who are proper help meets will exude \u201cjoyful laughter.\u201d Remember that being a proper help meet = being happy and fulfilled. What\u00a0message does this send to women who are doing everything possible\u00a0to be submissive help meets but are finding themselves miserable?\u00a0Certainly not a good one. In some sense, if\u00a0you\u2019re not happy, you\u2019re doing it wrong. But Debi is asking women to be happy with giving up their autonomy and even their right to voice their own views or opinions. It should be expected that many women would find this unpleasant.<\/p>\n<p>What Debi asks is so all-encompassing. She asks readers to give up their opinions and rights (and says so explicitly), but also asks them to be happy, even filled with joyful laughter. It is not enough to demand women give up their rights\u2014they must be happy about it, too.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Do you hear him? He is softly and tenderly calling your name: \u201cBe the help meet I created you to be. Believe me, trust me, obey me, and then watch what I will do.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Showers of blessings!<\/p>\n<p>Oh, that today they might fall.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>And this is it\u2014the closing lines. So much of this is wrapped up in promises. If you submit right, you will be happy. If you submit right, you will receive blessings. And if you don\u2019t get these things, well, you must not be submitting right. Submit harder! Sigh.<\/p>\n<p>Every marriage advice manual should include things like learning to communicate, practicing compromise, and the importance of mutual respect. Debi\u2019s book has none of these things. As for what it does have, well, I want to spend some time trying to pull together the overall themes that have come out in this series, and we\u2019ll go from there.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Every marriage advice manual should include things like learning to communicate, practicing compromise, and the importance of mutual respect. Debi&#8217;s book has none of these things. As for what it does have, well, I want to spend some time trying to pull together the overall themes that have come out in this series, and we&#8217;ll go from there. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":845,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[259],"class_list":["post-23915","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-created-to-be-his-help-meet"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>CTBHHM: Blessings and Vessels<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Every marriage advice manual should include things like learning to communicate, practicing compromise, and the importance of mutual respect. Debi&#039;s book has none of these things. 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