{"id":24829,"date":"2015-03-09T10:38:35","date_gmt":"2015-03-09T14:38:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/?p=24829"},"modified":"2015-03-09T10:38:35","modified_gmt":"2015-03-09T14:38:35","slug":"yes-im-a-mom-i-have-also-been-a-child","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2015\/03\/yes-im-a-mom-i-have-also-been-a-child.html","title":{"rendered":"Yes, I’m a Mom. I Have Also Been a Child."},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

I recently came upon an article titled Motherhood: The Strongest Bond<\/a>. For whatever reason, the article title was later changed to The Most Powerful Thing You Can Say to Another\u00a0Mom. The basic idea is that we who are mothers are united in a powerful way by our love for our children and our willingness to sacrifice\u00a0for them, and that that gives us a common sense of understanding for each other.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s an excerpt from the article:<\/p>\n

\n

. . .<\/p>\n

And later I was getting dinner at a takeout restaurant, and one of the employees was on the phone in the restroom. She was struggling to find a babysitter for her child while she finished her late shift. She was frantic. She was upset. She was mad. My heart skipped another beat, and the tears welled up in my eyes once again.<\/p>\n

I know, I\u2019m a mom.<\/p>\n

. . .<\/p>\n

And on the plane on the ride home there was a new mom standing with her infant son nearly the whole four-and-a-half-hour flight because if she attempted to sit down, he wailed. She looked exhausted and frustrated. She checked her watch frequently, but she also kept on task all while kissing on his little bald head.<\/p>\n

I know, I\u2019m a mom.<\/p>\n

See, it\u2019s a thread that unites us all.\u00a0. . .<\/p>\n

. . .<\/p>\n

It\u2019s also why we should always provide a blanket of support to all fellow moms. Not only to those who are suffering through the unimaginable pain of losing a child, but also to those mamas going through plain ol\u2019 rough times . . . and even those moms who are just having one of those days. Hug her, and if you are struggling to find the right words, all you may really need to say is, \u201cI know, I\u2019m a mom.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

I definitely\u00a0get this. There are plenty of times when I see a mom looking frazzled or exhausted and feel immediate sympathy and a sort of bond. Parenting is hard<\/em>. I\u2019ve been the mom with the child begging for their favorite snack food in the grocery, and the mom who has to take their kid out of the restaurant when it gets to be too much for them. Sometimes a sympathetic look can mean the world.<\/p>\n

But the thing is, I\u2019ve also been a child.<\/p>\n

This\u00a0article isn\u2019t the first time I\u2019ve seen this idea that mothers have a sort of common bond and understanding.\u00a0I have to wonder\u2014why do we so rarely extend\u00a0that same sense of understanding to children? I sometimes\u00a0feel like 95% of adults have forgotten what it felt like to be a child. So yes, when\u00a0I see a mom struggling to get through the grocery store with a child in tow, I identify with her\u2014but I also identify with her\u00a0child.<\/p>\n

Somehow\u00a0I never lost the ability to see the world the way a child sees it. When I first started parenting, I planned to parent the way my parents did, relying on rules and corporal punishment. I began punishing\u00a0my daughter for disobedience when she was only 10 months old\u2014she was old enough to understand the word \u201cno,\u201d I reasoned. This all changed the moment I tried to get inside of her head and see the world from her perspective. Everything<\/em> about my parenting changed that moment.<\/p>\n

Being a child is extremely difficult. Very small children don\u2019t have full control over their own bodies, and everything in their homes is scaled up in size, designed for adults. Try imagining what it would be like to live in a house built for giants for a moment\u2014a house where your head doesn\u2019t even come up to the sink, and getting into a chair is a bit like going rock climbing. Now imagine that you can\u2019t access food yourself, and instead have to ask the giants you live with to get you food when you\u2019re hungry\u2014and a drink when you\u2019re thirsty.<\/p>\n

For young children, there\u2019s also a language barrier. Imagine for a moment that you\u2019re in a foreign country with no guidebook, and that you have to somehow communicate what you need, where you want to go, and how you\u2019re feeling. Sometimes\u2014often\u2014you simply won\u2019t know the words<\/em> to express what it is you want to express.<\/p>\n

Children, too, do not get to choose when and where they go\u2014when they go to the grocery, whether they go to the library, all of this is up to their parents. Imagine, for a moment, not having freedom of movement. Imagine having to convince another person\u2014a spouse, perhaps\u2014to take you\u00a0to a coffee shop, or a book store, rather than simply being able to get up and go.<\/p>\n

And this is only the start! Think of computer time\u2014kids frequently\u00a0have to ask permission to use electronics, and many parents limit their kids\u2019 screen time. There are reasons for this, of course, but imagine having to ask permission to use your<\/em> computer\u2014or being limited to one hour of use each day. Especially as children grow older and become adolescents, these sorts of rules and limitations start to grate.<\/p>\n

Being a child can be extremely trying, but\u00a0in our society today\u00a0we\u00a0focus\u00a0a lot more about the trials of parenting\u00a0is than we do about the trials of being a child. Empathizing with parents is great\u2014don\u2019t get me wrong!\u2014but we need to also remember how to\u00a0empathize with children<\/em>. This\u00a0shouldn\u2019t be difficult\u2014while only some of us have been parents, all of us have been children.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I recently came upon an article titled Motherhood: The Strongest Bond. For whatever reason, the article title was later changed to The Most Powerful Thing You Can Say to Another\u00a0Mom. The basic idea is that we who are mothers are united in a powerful way by our love for our children and our willingness to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":845,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[108],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24829","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting"],"yoast_head":"\nYes, I'm a Mom. I Have Also Been a Child.<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I recently came upon an article titled Motherhood: The Strongest Bond. 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