{"id":24920,"date":"2015-02-13T14:28:57","date_gmt":"2015-02-13T18:28:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/?p=24920"},"modified":"2015-02-13T14:28:57","modified_gmt":"2015-02-13T18:28:57","slug":"pope-tries-to-have-it-both-ways-on-family-size","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2015\/02\/pope-tries-to-have-it-both-ways-on-family-size.html","title":{"rendered":"Pope Tries to Have It Both Ways on Family Size"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

In a recent statement, Pope Francis took on couples\u00a0who choose not to have children<\/a>:<\/p>\n

Pope Francis<\/a>\u00a0has chided couples who choose not to have children, saying the decision is a \u201cselfish\u201d act. The statement, made in his general audience in St Peter\u2019s Square, will be seen as especially controversial in Italy, which has recorded a steady drop in its birth rate for decades.<\/p>\n

\u201cA society with a greedy generation, that doesn\u2019t want to surround itself with children, that considers them above all worrisome, a weight, a risk, is a depressed society,\u201d the pope said. \u201cThe choice to not have children is selfish. Life rejuvenates and acquires energy when it multiplies: It is enriched, not impoverished.\u201d<\/p>\n

The address was focused primarily on the joy of children and their role in society. The pope recalled a childhood memory, when his mother was asked which of her five children was her favourite. \u201cShe would say, \u2018I have five children like I have five fingers. If they beat one of my fingers, all five hurt. All of my children are mine, but each one is different,\u2019\u201d he said.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

But in a visit to the Philippines a few weeks ago, he\u00a0took issue with people who have too\u00a0many<\/em> children<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\n

The pope cited the case of a woman he met who was pregnant with her eighth child after seven Cesarean sections. \u201cThat is an irresponsibility!\u201d he said. The woman might argue that she should trust in God. \u201cBut God gives you methods to be responsible,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

He said there are many \u201clicit\u201d ways of regulating births that are approved by the church, an apparent reference to the family planning method of monitoring a woman\u2019s cycle to avoid intercourse when she is ovulating.<\/p>\n

\u201cGod gives you methods to be responsible,\u201d he said, according to the National Catholic Reporter\u2019s account. \u201cSome think that \u2014 excuse the word \u2014 that in order to be good Catholics we have to be like rabbits. No.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Having no children is \u201cselfish\u201d . . . but having too many children is \u201cirresponsible.\u201d It doesn\u2019t help that the pope praises his mother for having five children but condemned a Filipino woman for having eight children. Where\u2019s the line, then? Six kids? Seven? When does it move from \u201cthe joy of children\u201d to being \u201clike rabbits\u201d?<\/p>\n

And as long as we\u2019re talking about \u201cthe joy of children,\u201d I should note that the pope took some flack last week<\/a> for speaking approvingly of a father hitting his child. It\u2019s worth noting that spanking is illegal in Italy.<\/p>\n

But let\u2019s go back to family size for a moment. I\u2019m getting really hung up on this thing where the pope accuses couples\u00a0with too few children of being \u201cselfish\u201d and couples\u00a0with too many children of being \u201cirresponsible.\u201d Is there somewhere where I can submit my medical history and my and my husband\u2019s income and education level, as well as our country of residence, so that we may be told how many children is the correct \u201cgodly\u201d number we should\u00a0have?<\/p>\n

Frankly, I am tired\u2014so tired\u2014of anyone, but especially men, telling women how many children they should have. What we should<\/em> be telling women\u2014and couples in general\u2014is that what\u00a0matters is that they live full lives\u00a0and that any children they may have receive\u00a0the love and care they need to thrive.<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t close this post, though, without explicitly taking on the idea that couples\u00a0who don\u2019t have children are selfish. I know a couple who have no children and are the\u00a0most caring and giving people I know. The wife volunteers for all manner of causes, and has chosen a career that will pay little but offers her maximum ability to help others.\u00a0The idea that this couple is selfish<\/em> for having no children boggles my mind!<\/p>\n

And you know what else? I know parents who are incredibly<\/em> selfish\u2014including parents who have had children in order to gratify their egos, or to serve as extensions of themselves. Sometimes, having children can be a extremely\u00a0selfish act.<\/p>\n

But in all seriousness, I\u2019m ready and waiting for the Vatican to release an online calculator so I can enter my information and learn my ideal, godly number of children. Because at this point, I\u2019m just confused.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Having no children is “selfish” . . . but having too many children is “irresponsible.” It doesn’t help that the pope praises his mother for having five children but condemned a Filipino woman for having eight children. Where’s the line, then? Six kids? Seven? When does it move from “the joy of children” to being “like rabbits”? <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":845,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[23],"class_list":["post-24920","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-catholicism"],"yoast_head":"\nPope Tries to Have It Both Ways on Family Size<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Having no children is "selfish" . . . but having too many children is "irresponsible." 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