50 Shades of Grey.\u00a0<\/em>A man who sexually uses and abuses women is cool, mysterious, and compelling.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\nI can\u2019t read the piece Strachan references, as it\u2019s available to subscribers\u00a0only. But it\u2019s simply false that men who abuse women will be excommunicated from the church and reported to the police. I have utterly no idea how Strachan could state it such, like it\u2019s settled fact! He could say that they \u201cshould\u201d be excommunicated from the church and reported to the police, but that\u2019s not what he says. As written, he completely ignores the very real abuse coverup problems that have plagued evangelical Christianity. I simply cannot believe that he has never heard of the Sovereign Grace Ministries scandal, for instance.<\/p>\n
The idea that abuse must be reported to the police has never been universal within evangelical Christianity. Abuse is often seen as something to be handled internally. Thankfully, this appears to be changing, in part as a result of the amount of attention payed to things like the Sovereign Grace Ministries scandal, and questions over how Christian universities handle reports of sexual assault. Organizations like Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment (GRACE) have begun pushing back against the longstanding idea that these issues are best handled internally. But again, Strachan doesn\u2019t admit any<\/em> of this.<\/p>\nNote once again that Strachan has conflated \u201csexually using\u201d and \u201csexually abusing,\u201d and that it\u2019s still unclear whether he\u2019s talking about the actually abusive aspects of Christian and Ana\u2019s relationship, or simply BDSM. I suspect that Strachan probably uses the term \u201csexually using\u201d to describe any premarital sex, in part because of his patriarchal framework\u2014in the evangelical framework, the man tends to be seen as the sexual aggressor and the woman as the sexual receiver.<\/p>\n
But to the extent that we\u2019re talking about the abusive aspects of Christian and Ana\u2019s relationship, it\u2019s absolutely true that abuse too often goes either unnoticed or unaddressed in modern secular culture. But I would argue that this, too, is changing, in part as a result of pushback from feminists. There has been increasing attention played to the problems that beset the prosecution of rape, and increasing emphasis put on helping victims out of abusive situations. But again, Strachan does not acknowledge any<\/em> of this.<\/p>\n\nLet me speak as strongly as I should here:\u00a050 Shades of Grey\u00a0<\/i>is disgusting, despicable, and unerringly awful for women. Don\u2019t view\u00a0this film as just a film. Know that it is much more. It is representative of the new sexual progressivism and its amoral worldview.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n
Once again, Strachan does not actually explain his objections. Is he concerned about the themes of emotional abuse and the blowing off of consent? Or is he, as is more likely, concerned about premarital sex and BDSM?<\/p>\n
\n50 Shades of Grey<\/em>\u00a0speaks to where things are headed in our culture. We should not expect that postmodernism will protect women. It will do no such thing. We should not expect that it will ennoble men and call them to self-sacrificial responsibility. It will do no such thing. We should not expect that postmodernism will bless children and strengthen the family. It will do no such thing.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\nWhy must anyone\u2014man or woman\u2014be \u201cennobled\u201d? And why not call all people, men and women, to a balance of self-sacrificial responsibility and personal fulfillment? What about empowering women to protect themselves, and creating a legal system that penalizes those who abuse others regardless<\/em> of gender? This idea\u00a0that women should be dependent on men for protection is part of the problem in the first place,\u00a0and this narrow (and dare I say patriarchal)\u00a0focus on male violence against women ignores other forms of violence.<\/p>\nEvangelical Christians tend to use the term \u201cpostmodernism\u201d\u00a0in a very particular way. To them, the word entails\u00a0a rejection of standards and values altogether, in favor of a complete absence of morality and\u00a0ethics. But that\u2019s absolutely not what I see in modern secular culture. It\u2019s not a rejection<\/em> of standards and values that I see, it\u2019s a shifting in what those standards and values are<\/em>.\u00a0When Strachan speaks of \u201cstrengthening the family\u201d he almost certainly means the patriarchal heterosexual family. When he speaks of \u201cblessing children\u201d he probably means elevating childbearing to the most important thing a woman can do. The things he objects to\u2014calling \u201cpostmodernism\u201d\u2014are probably things like marriage equality or career women.<\/p>\n\nThose who work against biblical manhood and womanhood, who fight the Scripture\u2019s teaching as marginalizing, are in fact undermining the last cultural defense that still stands against male predation and sexual suffering.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n
This is simply not true! In fact, it\u2019s so not true as to be ludicrous. The Bible is not the only thing that stands in the way of \u201cmale predation and sexual suffering.\u201d In fact, I would argue that\u00a0Bible, in Strachan\u2019s interpretation,\u00a0promotes<\/em> male predation and sexual suffering. Wives\u00a0are ordered to submit, whether or not their husbands are \u201cworthy\u201d of their submission, and are warned against withholding sex from their husbands. When an evangelical man cheats on his wife, his fellow evangelicals are quick to ask whether his wife was \u201cgiving\u201d\u00a0him sufficient sex at home to keep him from straying. I would argue that a consent-based culture that values healthy relationship skills and equality is a much<\/em> more effective defense against \u201cmale predation and sexual suffering.\u201d<\/p>\n\n3.\u00a050 Shades of Grey\u00a0<\/em>may seem exciting, enticing, and alluring. It is in truth nihilistic, degrading, and devastating.<\/strong>\u00a0Any woman who has been sexually abused will be very clear that there is nothing romantic, fun, and satisfying in the experience. It\u2019s unthinkable\u2013but true\u2013that this is the vision of the good life being offered to\u2013and received by\u2013many, many women today. Abuse of women is evil to the very core of what evil represents. Yet our double-minded culture sometimes decries \u201crape culture\u201d and then\u2013in a spasm of confusion\u2013sometimes turns around and extols what it just condemned.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\nDoes Strachan honestly think the people who decry rape culture are the ones flocking to see Fifty Shades of Grey? If so, he is very much confused. Both the book and the movie have been widely condemned in the feminist world, by the very same people raising the banner against rape culture.<\/p>\n
And again, I\u2019m still not sure whether Strachan is talking about abuse or BDSM. Part of the reason I\u2019m so unsure is that most of the abuse in Fifty Shades of Grey was either emotional or physical, not<\/em> sexual. Strachan doesn\u2019t seem to get this.<\/p>\nAnother note I really need to make is that there is a difference between having sexual fantasies on the one hand, and arguing that real-life relationship patterns\u00a0should be built on those fantasies on the other. As I\u2019ve written before, my sexual fantasies tend to be nonconsensual. I believe this is partly because of the sexual repression I experienced growing up in evangelical culture. When I became sexually active as an adult, I\u2019d been so conditioned against sexual agency that the only way for me to relax and enjoy sexual pleasure was to entertain nonconsensual fantasies in my mind, while, of course, having what was in fact completely consensual sex.<\/p>\n
Why do I mention this? Quite simply, because\u00a0there is a difference between\u00a0enjoying\u00a0erotica that features villains and sexual violation\u00a0on the one hand, and arguing that the villains are actually heroes and that sexual violation is not actually sexual violation on the other. My concern with Fifty Shades of Grey\u2014and the concern of many other feminists\u2014is not that women are enjoying nonconsensual and abusive erotica, but rather that too\u00a0many readers don\u2019t recognize\u00a0the lack of consent or the abuse, and have made the villain a hero and\u00a0elevated\u00a0the book to\u00a0a model for real-life relationships.<\/p>\n
\nThink about how confusing sexual mores are today for young men and women. There is effectively no standard of sexual conduct on many secular college campuses, for example, outside of mutual consent. But media like\u00a050 Shades of Grey<\/em>\u00a0shout at young men to sexually abuse women, and exhort\u00a0young women to engage\u00a0in harmful sexual practices. Honestly, what kind of twisted, deviant culture is this?<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\nWait wait wait. There is \u201cno standard\u201d \u201coutside of mutual consent\u201d? How is mutual consent not a standard, and a damn good one at that? And frankly, given this paragraph, I\u2019m inclined to think Strachan has a problem with Fifty Shades of Grey\u2019s purported use of BDSM, not with the actual abuse that occurred in the book, which had to do with a lack of respect for consent and heavy doses of both emotional manipulation and physical threats. Lovely.<\/p>\n
\nThe church must be clear against the backdrop of such confusion. No system of thought more dignifies women than biblical Christianity.<\/strong> Our culture, and our world, desperately needs it. But in a world turned upside down by the fall, many people\u2013including professing Christians\u2013make gospel faith\u00a0out to be the problem. They try to present biblical complementarianism as evil. This is a lie. We must not believe it.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\nI put that sentence in bold for emphasis. To the extent that biblical Christianity \u201cdignifies\u201d women, it does so by telling them that their are especially nurturing, that their place is as mothers in the home, and that they shouldn\u2019t have to worry their sweet little heads over the big decisions or responsibilities in life, which are left to the men. To me, this is not dignifying<\/em>. This is infantilizing<\/em>. I realize that this world can be a difficult place, but I would much rather face those hardships side by side with my husband than stand behind\u00a0him.<\/p>\nBiblical complementarianism, as Strachan himself<\/em> has discussed\u00a0it in this very article, includes wifely submission. I would indeed describe\u00a0any philosophy that requires one party to continually submit to the other party \u201cevil.\u201d Strachan can go on and on about the high standards complementarianism calls men to, but when he does, I\u2019m simply reminded of those who defended antebellum slavery by\u00a0arguing that slaveowners carried the great burden of caring for their slaves, and that it was the slaves who got the best end of the bargain. Nope<\/em>.<\/p>\n\nThere is evil in every human heart; no church is perfect. Abuse can and does happen even in Christian homes and churches, but we must remember that when it does, no gospel-loving church celebrates it. No movie is made to sell it. Such sin is condemned and opposed and reported to authorities and then dealt with in the household of God. No, it is not the Scripture that harms women and subjugates them. It is a sexualized culture that has loosed men from their role as Christlike heads, and encouraged them to gratify their lusts with women without recourse.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n
This would seem to be an\u00a0admission that abuse can occur in the church, but if you read the full paragraph it\u2019s honest it\u2019s not. Strachan says\u00a0that\u00a0no \u201cgospel-loving\u201d church celebrates abuse. No true Scotsman much? He then turns around and says that abuse in Christian environments is \u201ccondemned and opposed and reported to authorities and then dealt with.\u201d Someone needs to tell that to Bill Gothard\u2019s young female victims, because I\u2019m pretty sure they\u2019re unaware that their abuse was condemned and opposed\u00a0and reported and dealt with. Strachan is sabotaging his own position by continually insisting that evangelical Christianity deals with matters of sexual abuse perfectly, when we know for a fact that it doesn\u2019t<\/em>.<\/p>\nStrachan states that modern culture has \u201cloosed men from their role as Christlike heads\u201d and \u201cencouraged them to gratify their lusts with women without recourse.\u201d In this context, \u201cwithout recourse\u201d means \u201cwithout liability.\u201d The idea is that within the \u201cbiblical\u201d system, men are required to give something to get sex\u2014generally, they have to give protection and provision. When they give those things to a woman by marrying her, she is then his for the taking. It\u2019s an ownership sort of thing, an exchange or transaction. The man gets sex, the woman is protected and provided for.<\/p>\n
Modern secular culture has done a fair bit to break down this form of marriage and relationship, moving toward a system where men and women approach relationships and marriages as life partners rather than approaching\u00a0it as a sort of commodity exchange. Strachan has a problem with this, perhaps because he thinks so little of men that he assumes that they would rather go around getting \u201cfree sex\u201d than enter into equal partnerships with women. In other words, in Strachan\u2019s view, a man will only commit to a longterm relationship if that is the only way he can obtain sex. And to that I say bullshit<\/em>. Strachan has a far lower view of men than I do.<\/p>\n\n4. There is one, and exactly, one source of hope for man-woman relationships today.<\/strong>\u00a0It is the gospel of Jesus Christ. This gospel, the message of Christ crucified and raised for sinners like us, takes predatory men and fallen women and turns them into trophies of grace. This is not a limited redemption. The worst of the worst can be saved. The abusive, the predatory, the abused, the hopeless\u2013all alike find everlasting salvation in the cross of Jesus as they turn from this world and run into the strong and safe arms of Christ.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\nWhile I like redemption narratives as much as the next person, this narrative has actually created a bit of a problem in evangelical culture. I\u2019ve heard of cases where a child sexual predator is welcomed back into Christian community on the basis of repentance, and then again given access to children. Evangelical Christianity goes far too easy on abusers. Evangelical Christianity offers abusers a clean slate for the simple price of verbal repentance\u2014and verbal repentance comes easy to abusers used to manipulating those around them and saying whatever they have to say to get what they want. Not only is a repentant abuser accepted back into the fold, but\u00a0bringing up their past transgressions in any form is considered unChristian.<\/p>\n
Note also the dualistic language\u2014this idea that both the abuser and the abused need redemption and saving through Jesus Christ. Note too that both groups are included under the phrasing \u201cthe worst of the worst.\u201d I mean, good lord<\/em>, note that Strachan speaks of \u201cpredatory men and fallen women,\u201d putting both in the same category. The abuser needs saving\u2014and so does the abused<\/em>. This framing is incredibly<\/em> unhelpful.<\/p>\n\nRemember these words when\u00a050 Shades of Grey<\/em>\u00a0is lauded in coming days. You\u2019re not witnessing something beautiful and hopeful. You\u2019re seeing something diabolical and twisted, a force so strong that only one man can undo it: Jesus Christ, the self-sacrificing savior of his wandering, unfaithful bride, the church.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\nWell then.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m honestly not sure what can be done for men like Strachan. He so obviously misunderstands every part of this issue, but fancies himself well informed. He is completely unaware of the abuse coverup problems that have plagued evangelical Christianity\u00a0and\u00a0oblivious to the way his own theology sabotages attempts to help victims.\u00a0At the same time, his inability to understand feminist or secular perspectives on sex and relationships leaves him grappling with a strawman. Did I mention that Strachan is the president of the Council on Biblical Manhood & Womanhood? He\u2019s not a nobody. He has a microphone!<\/p>\n
And unfortunately, Strachan\u2019s article will likely be very persuasive to those within evangelical Christianity. In my experience, many (if not most)\u00a0evangelical Christians really do believe that their beliefs and lifestyle are the most effective\u00a0at protecting women and offering them\u00a0fulfillment and happiness.\u00a0I badly want to find a way to cut through the misunderstandings and communicate with these\u00a0individuals.\u00a0What\u00a0they know of other frameworks is frequently filtered through an evangelical lens that portrays\u00a0books like Fifty Shades of Grey as the best feminism or the secular world has to offer. As a result, their understanding of the world beyond evangelical Christianity is littered with rape statistics\u00a0but bereft of\u00a0positive stories of healthy egalitarian relationships.<\/p>\n
And that, my friends, makes me profoundly, profoundly sad.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
While researching my previous blog post on Fifty Shades of Grey, I came upon an article by evangelical blogger Owen Strachan titled How \u201c50 Shades of Grey\u201d Harms Women & Jesus Saves Them. I’m going to deconstruct this blog post piece by piece to really dig into the problems with its logic. I should note that Strachan is not a nobody. He’s a professor at Boyce College and president of the Council on Biblical Manhood & Womanhood.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":845,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[40,6,25],"tags":[495,129,62],"class_list":["post-24946","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-evangelicalism-fundamentalism","category-feminism","category-christian-patriarchy","tag-fifty-shades-of-grey","tag-relationships","tag-submission"],"yoast_head":"\n
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