I don\u2019t know! Let\u2019s go look it up. <\/em><\/p>\nThe first answer is the answer my mother would have given. Actually, it\u2019s an answer I heard a lot growing up. In fact, that was the answer to pretty much everything (which probably explains why it ran through my head!). Why does the earth go around the sun? Because that\u2019s how God made it. Why are trees leaves green? Because that\u2019s how God made them.<\/p>\n
As my daughter\u2019s question spurred me to think about the different replies that went through my head, I realized just how much truth there is to the claim that creationism stops questions rather than answering them. \u201cBecause that\u2019s how God made it\u201d ends the questions and ends the line of exploration. It\u2019s a dead end rather than a starting point. And while it may be an easy answer to give a preschooler, it\u2019s not all that satisfying.<\/p>\n
But you don\u2019t have to be religious to offer answers that shut questions down rather than opening them up. Just answering my daughter\u2019s question with \u201cbecause that\u2019s the way God made you\u201d ran through my head, so too did answering it with \u201cjust because.\u201d It\u2019s really tempting, sometimes. Toddlers and preschoolers ask so many questions that at some point it becomes easier to stop them by saying \u201cjust because,\u201d especially when you don\u2019t actually have the answers to their questions<\/em>.<\/p>\nThe third answer that ran through my head was the right one to give, but it\u2019s also the hardest. It involves admitting that you don\u2019t know the answer (but, but, but \u2013 as parent you\u2019re supposed to know everything!) and then going through the efforts to find an answer, which may be complicated, and explain it in terms the child can understand.<\/p>\n
But the third answer is also the most rewarding. Watching your child exhibit curiosity and figure out how things work is always thrilling. That curiosity, after all, is something I want to foster \u2013 not something I want to turn off with pat answers. And if that means looking up how humans evolved to be bipedal and then finding a way to explain that to a preschooler, well, that\u2019s what I need to do.<\/p>\n
There\u2019s another perk to this third answer as well. Acknowledging that you don\u2019t know the answer and offering to look it up helps your child understand first that people don\u2019t know everything and that there is nothing wrong with admitting you don\u2019t know something, and second that the solution to not knowing something is not to make up an answer or just shrug, but rather to go the extra mile, do the research, and find the answer.<\/p>\n
I love being a parent, and one thing I love about it is that it is hard<\/em>. Honestly answering a child\u2019s questions rather than offering pat replies (\u201cjust because\u201d) is the harder course just like positive parenting is harder than either authoritarian parenting or permissive parenting. But in this case, \u201chard\u201d does not simply mean more difficult, it also means more rewarding.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"The other day my daughter asked me a question: Mommy, why do I have two legs? As I looked into her curious face three answers ran through my mind: Because that\u2019s how God made you. Just because. I don\u2019t know! Let\u2019s go look it up.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":845,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,108],"tags":[187,130],"class_list":["post-2524","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-atheism","category-parenting","tag-parenting-without-god","tag-questions"],"yoast_head":"\n
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