\u201cEmotional incest\u201d is a tricky term because it sounds as though it implies a sexual relationship when it doesn\u2019t. Some scholars use the term \u201ccovert incest\u201d instead, but that doesn\u2019t really help because it retains the word \u201cincest.\u201d Other scholars have used the term \u201cenmeshment,\u201d \u201cco-dependency,\u201d and \u201cemotional abuse\u201d is another related concept as well. For the sake of this short series of posts, I will use the term \u201cemotional incest\u201d because I think that if you can get past the \u201cick\u201d factor of the word incest, this construction is actually very descriptive.<\/p>\n
Emotional incest involves an unhealthy relationship between parent and child in which the child serves as a sort of emotional \u201cspouse\u201d to the parent. This can be mother\/daughter, father\/daughter, mother\/son, or father\/son. Here are a couple definitions, some using the term \u201ccovert incest\u201d and others using the term \u201cemotional incest.\u201d<\/p>\n
Covert incest<\/a> occurs when a child plays the role of a surrogate husband or wife to a lonely, needy parent. The parent\u2019s need for companionship is met through the child.\u00a0 The child is bound to the parent by excessive feelings of responsibility for the welfare of the parent. The demand for loyalty to the lonely, needy parent overwhelms the child and becomes the major organizing experience in the child\u2019s development.<\/p>\n
Covert emotional incest<\/a> begins when a person perceives and responds to a family member as a replacement or substitute for a partner.<\/p>\n
This form of incest<\/a> is described as a relationship where a parent turns a child into a partner or confidante that is inappropriate to the child\u2019s age and life experience. Or to put it another way, when a child is manipulated into the role of a surrogate wife or husband by a needy parent.\u00a0While some refer to this as covert incest, others refer to it as emotional incest.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
You get the idea. Emotional incest takes place when the (emotional, not sexual) relationship between a parent and a child becomes like that between two spouses, except that given the immaturity of the child the relationship is one-sided and the parent feeds off the child emotionally while the child ends up feeling responsible for the well-being of the parent.<\/p>\n
I think it\u2019s important to remember that there are different degrees of emotional incest. It\u2019s not an all or nothing kind of thing. Sometimes emotional incest is extremely severe and\u00a0debilitating, and other times it\u2019s more moderate and can almost go unnoticed. Regardless of its intensity, though, emotional incest is harmful and unhealthy.<\/p>\n
In Part 2<\/a>, I\u2019m going to look at the Botkin sisters and reveal that emotional incest is essentially mandatory in the world of Christian Patriarchy and Vision Forum, and in Part 3<\/a> I\u2019ll point discuss the \u201cdaddy\u2019s girl\u201d effect. Finally, in Part 4<\/a>, I\u2019ll address some of the pain and harm emotional incest causes.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cEmotional incest\u201d is a tricky term because it sounds as though it implies a sexual relationship when it doesn\u2019t. Some scholars use the term \u201ccovert incest\u201d instead, but that doesn\u2019t really help because it retains the word \u201cincest.\u201d Other scholars have used the term \u201cenmeshment,\u201d \u201cco-dependency,\u201d and \u201cemotional abuse\u201d is another related concept as well. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":845,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[43],"tags":[24,150,129],"class_list":["post-2526","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family","tag-children","tag-emotional-abuse","tag-relationships"],"yoast_head":"\n
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