{"id":25680,"date":"2015-05-26T22:46:17","date_gmt":"2015-05-27T02:46:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/?p=25680"},"modified":"2015-05-27T12:27:08","modified_gmt":"2015-05-27T16:27:08","slug":"when-the-perpetrators-matter-more-than-the-victims-and-family-values-means-covering-for-child-sexual-assault","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2015\/05\/when-the-perpetrators-matter-more-than-the-victims-and-family-values-means-covering-for-child-sexual-assault.html","title":{"rendered":"When the Perpetrators Matter More than the Victims"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

In March 2002, Jim Bob Duggar found out that his fourteen-year-old son, Josh, was sexually molesting prepubescent girls<\/a>. Jim Bob did not say anything about this to the authorities until July 2003, even as it continued to happen and\u00a0the list of victims grew. And in the wake of these revelations, I have been absolutely horrified by the number of people who have said they would not have immediately reported their fourteen-year-old son for molesting prepubescent girls either.<\/p>\n

I have a six-year-old daughter. The number of people who have said they wouldn\u2019t report their teenage son for molesting girls either makes me worried for my own daughter. I look around at families with teenage sons and I wonder. If that boy molested children, would his parents turn him in, or would they cover for him? Whose safety and wellbeing would they prioritize\u2014their son\u2019s, or my daughter\u2019s?<\/p>\n

Here is Matt Walsh\u2019s answer<\/a>:<\/p>\n

3) I know I\u2019m opening myself up to serious criticism here, but let me be honest with you: If my own son, God forbid, came to me and admitted to doing what Josh Duggar did, I don\u2019t know that I\u2019d immediately run to the cops.<\/p>\n

Would you? Is it really that simple? The decision to have your child arrested as a sex offender would be an automatic thing for you? Really?<\/p>\n

I guess I\u2019m just a horrible person then.<\/p>\n

. . .<\/p>\n

As a parent, you have to think whether your 14 year old son deserves to have his life ruined over his mistakes. Maybe you\u2019d decide that he does. I can\u2019t say I\u2019d agree.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Mistakes?!<\/em> That\u2019s<\/em> what we\u2019re calling sexually assaulting a child now?!<\/p>\n

Do you see what I mean about prioritizing the wellbeing of the abuser over that of his current and future victims? Walsh says a fourteen-year-old child molester doesn\u2019t deserve \u201cto have his life ruined over his mistakes,\u201d because apparently ensuring that he is punished for his abuse and prevented from abusing in the future is just too much to ask for.<\/p>\n

Did I mention that I have a six-year-old daughter?<\/p>\n

I suspect Walsh would say that his hypothetical son\u2019s abuse would<\/em> be punished and future abuse prevented, it\u2019s just that this would be carried out\u00a0by him as father rather than by the authorities. But we have authorities and a process for dealing with child sexual abuse for a reason. Parents frequently make excuses for their own children, as we see Walsh doing in his hypothetical. Parents are\u00a0less likely to play hardball and more likely to believe justifications or excuses.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m sure Jim Bob felt he appropriately punished Josh in March 2002, when he first learned of Josh\u2019s behavior, but\u00a0for a full year after that Josh went on to victimize more<\/em> girls.\u00a0Had Jim Bob\u00a0immediately taken the matter to the authorities and sought\u00a0professional help for\u00a0his son, this might have been prevented.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m honestly not sure how it\u2019s not painfully obvious that parents should not be the ones handling punishment and prevention if their child sexually assaults another child. It is very common for someone who has molested one child to molest other children. Josh Duggar, for his part, molested five girls from two different families. Parents should not be the ones dealing with this<\/em>. We have authorities and professionals for a reason!<\/p>\n

Well sure, Walsh\u00a0would say, but what if you<\/em> had a teenage son and found out he\u2019d sexually fondled a young girl? Would you<\/em> turn him in, and ruin his life? Yes I absolutely would, but I reject the framing of the question. Turning someone in for child sexual assault\u00a0helps ensure that they will get help, that they will get treatment, and (hopefully) that they will turn their lives around and not victimize more<\/em> children.\u00a0And yes, I do have a son. He\u2019s not fourteen yet, but he will be someday.<\/p>\n

Turning someone in for child sexual assault can only be framed as \u201cruining their life\u201d if you remove\u00a0their victims, present and future, from the picture entirely. Does\u00a0life as a registered sex offender truly weigh more on the scale than the life of a sexually abused child whose abuser walks the street with no record or legal consequences for his actions?<\/p>\n

My daughter\u2019s school does background checks not only for teachers and school staff but also for\u00a0volunteers and chaperones. An increasing number of churches do background checks for their childcare workers and Sunday school teachers as well. The goal is to protect children by ensuring that they will not be placed in the care of someone with a history of molesting children.\u00a0Denying child sex offenders this sort of access also\u00a0helps ensure that they will not reoffend. If Josh Duggar wanted to volunteer at my daughter\u2019s school, or work in the religious education program at our church, he would be permitted to do so, because a background check wouldn\u2019t reveal anything out of the ordinary, even though he sexually molested five girls, some as young as five years old.<\/p>\n

Background checks only do what they\u2019re supposed to do if people report child sexual abuse, no matter<\/em> who the perpetrator is.<\/p>\n

Mostly, right now, I want Matt Walsh and all of the other conservatives saying that they, too, would not have reported their son to get off the moral high horse they ride so often when it comes to religion and family. How can they\u00a0proclaim \u201cfamily values\u201d from the rooftops and yet openly state that they\u00a0would cover for their\u00a0fourteen-year-old son if they\u00a0found out he was sexually assaulting children?<\/p>\n

Matt Walsh is on record arguing that gay couples shouldn\u2019t be allowed to adopt<\/a>, because of the potential harm to children, and that transgender women shouldn\u2019t be allowed to use the women\u2019s bathroom<\/a> because of concerns about women\u2019s safety.\u00a0But when it comes to\u00a0the potential harm to children and threat to children\u2019s safety posed by unreported child sexual abuse, suddenly what matters is protecting the abuser? For all Walsh\u2019s claims of \u201cprogressive hypocrisy,\u201d he really needs to look in mirror.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Matt Walsh is on record arguing that gay couples shouldn’t be allowed to adopt, because of the potential harm to children, and that transgender women shouldn’t be allowed to use the women’s bathroom because of concerns about women’s safety. But when it comes to the potential harm to children and threat to children’s safety posed by unreported child sexual abuse, suddenly what matters is protecting the abuser? For all Walsh’s claims of progressive hypocrisy, he really needs to look in mirror. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":845,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[40,43],"tags":[520,402],"class_list":["post-25680","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-evangelicalism-fundamentalism","category-family","tag-josh-duggar","tag-sexual-assault"],"yoast_head":"\nWhen the Perpetrators Matter More than the Victims<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Matt Walsh is on record arguing that gay couples shouldn't be allowed to adopt, because of the potential harm to children, and that transgender women shouldn't be allowed to use the women's bathroom because of concerns about women's safety. 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