{"id":27800,"date":"2016-01-20T05:00:09","date_gmt":"2016-01-20T09:00:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/admin.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/?p=27800"},"modified":"2016-01-26T22:22:08","modified_gmt":"2016-01-27T02:22:08","slug":"hitting-the-reset-button","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2016\/01\/hitting-the-reset-button.html","title":{"rendered":"Hitting the Reset Button"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

I did not begin blogging expecting to create a community. When I first started writing on blogspot five years ago, I never expected to even have regular commenters. Over the years, however, my commentariat has grown, and I\u2019ve learned that running\u00a0a popular blog comes with its own responsibilities, many of which I am ill prepared for. I\u2019ve tried, very hard, to create a space that facilitates discussion, but I haven\u2019t always been successful.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve written numerous posts about my comment policy over the years, including this one<\/a> (Sept. 2012), this one<\/a> (Jan. 2013),\u00a0this one<\/a> (Feb. 2013), this one<\/a> (May 2014),\u00a0this one<\/a> (Sept. 2014), this one<\/a> (Jan. 2015),\u00a0this one<\/a> (March 2015),\u00a0this one<\/a> (March 2015), and this one<\/a> (Sept. 2015).\u00a0Almost exactly a year ago, I banned two longterm regular commenters for abusive behavior, an action that made waves throughout my commentariat and which regular commenters still talk about today.<\/p>\n

Over the past several months, a number of individuals have contacted me saying they no longer feel comfortable commenting on my blog. As a rule, they\u2019ve told me that they love my writing and agree with 95% of it. A number of individuals, some of them longtime regular commenters, have expressed similar feelings in the comment sections of various posts. These aren\u2019t trolls or bigots. This has left me thinking about the term \u201csafe space.\u201d Geek Feminism defines the term as<\/a>:<\/p>\n

a term for an area or forum where either a marginalised group are not supposed to face standard mainstream stereotypes and marginalisation, or in which a shared political or social viewpoint is required to participate in the space.<\/span><\/p>\n

Neither type of safe space outlined in this definition addresses a common\u00a0problem I see in my own comment sections\u2014progressive commenters treating other\u00a0progressive commenters in abusive, unkind, dismissive, petty, and ungenerous ways.\u00a0I see small differences of opinion being used as a litmus test for determining who is a Good Person. For me personally, a space does not feel \u201csafe\u201d if people are not able to express\u00a0differences of opinions. After all, there are some issues on which reasonable people should be able to\u00a0disagree.<\/p>\n

Allowing disagreement in social justice spaces is important. Working through\u00a0differences of opinion can help lead to new and better strategies, rhetorics, or policy proposals. Beyond this, requiring lockstep adherence would create\u00a0a profoundly uncomfortable space for many, especially those of us who, like me, come\u00a0from authoritarian backgrounds where dissent was not allowed. We have to be able to accept disagreement on some points while sharing certain common goals or ideals.<\/p>\n

Further, while most of my commenters share a commitment to core social justice ideals, this space is not and never has been one that is reserved solely for these individuals. I have always wanted this space to be one where\u00a0individuals from a variety of backgrounds can come together to disagree, discuss, and learn from each other. To offer a more concrete example, I\u2019ve wanted it to be a space where I could have come and learned something as a conservative teen. And for some time now, I\u2019ve felt that it\u2019s not.<\/p>\n

As I\u2019ve taken in\u00a0feedback over the past few months, I\u2019ve been unsure of what in particular I could\u00a0do to improve the climate in my blog\u2019s comment section. At one point several months ago I sat down with a woman working on her Ph.D. in gender studies and writing her dissertation on Reddit. I laid out my qualms for her and asked for her advice. \u201cModerate the shit out of it,\u201d she told me. Given that I\u2019m also working on my Ph.D. and raising two children, in addition to running this blog, that didn\u2019t sound exactly tenable to me. I do have a mod\u00a0team, but they have lives too and it can sometimes be challenging\u00a0to get everyone on the same page.<\/p>\n

Then, last week, one of my moderators contacted me voicing concern about the current situation and asking for advice and thoughts. I brought the issue to the rest of my mod\u00a0team and found that they, too, had been harboring similar concerns for some time. It seemed to be\u00a0one of those things that everyone had been feeling but nobody had voiced. And so we began to talk. Please know that the new policy guidelines we are unveiling, listed below, are not my sole creation, but rather the product of extremely productive discussion and negotiation by the mod team over the past week.<\/p>\n

The new policy we\u2019re rolling out this week moves the focus away from \u201cdo not\u201d and toward \u201cdo.\u201d It emphasizes treating others with kindness, listening as well as speaking, finding common starting points (not to be confused with \u201ccommon ground\u201d), and accepting that there are some things on which reasonable people disagree. In addition, the\u00a0mod team and I have worked together to create moderating guidelines that include instructions on how to deal with bigotry or abusive behavior, to ensure that we are all on the same page. Finally, we have created new structures that will allow us to work together better as a team and improve communication both between mods and between commenters and moderators.<\/p>\n

Please understand, though, that there are only so many of us and that we do have day jobs and responsibilities. Please do not contact the moderators or myself before\u00a0trying to work a situation out yourself\u00a0first, and please understand that we might not be able to respond right away even in a situation that merits it. Remember, too, that we may not always agree with your assessment of a situation. We are trying to avoid\u00a0legalism or heavy handedness in moderation. For this reason, we have moved away from the terminology of comment policy \u201crules\u201d and toward the terminology of comment policy \u201cguidelines.\u201d Please focus more on making sure that you adhere to the new guidelines than on making sure that others adhere to the new guidelines<\/em>.<\/p>\n

I understand that there is often concern about bigoted individuals \u201cpolitely\u201d expressing bigoted opinions and that it is unfair to require marginalized communities to \u201cbe polite\u201d or \u201cwatch your tone\u201d in the face of \u201cpolitely\u201d expressed hatred or bigotry. I am hoping that a focus on kindness<\/a> rather than politeness will help solve part of this problem. Additionally, my\u00a0mod team has created internal guidelines for responding to bigoted commenters. Rest assured that it is not our\u00a0plan to let bigoted opinions go unanswered or to allow abusive commenters to remain in this space.<\/p>\n

There may be some individuals who are not comfortable in spaces where bigoted commenters are not banned immediately. This is understandable. Different spaces have different purposes and different people will prefer different sorts of spaces. It is my hope that you will be able to accept my goals for my space even if you disagree with them, and that you will be able to find other spaces in which you are more comfortable if you don\u2019t find these changes to your liking. No one space will work for everyone.<\/p>\n

And so, without further ado, I give you our new guidelines:<\/p>\n

Revised LJF Comment Guidelines<\/h2>\n

What began as a personal blog has become an active online community. I have created the following guidelines in an effort to facilitate positive discussion.<\/p>\n

1. No personal insults.<\/b>\u00a0Focus on arguments rather than on the people making them. Do not make provocative or inflammatory comments to get a rise out of other commenters.<\/span><\/p>\n

2. No dog piling.<\/b>\u00a0If someone has already responded critically to a comment, only add your own thoughts if you have something new or different to contribute.<\/span><\/p>\n

3. Listen before speaking.\u00a0<\/b>Make an effort to understand others and their arguments. Set out to learn what you can from other commenters.<\/span><\/p>\n

4. Disagreement is welcome.<\/b>\u00a0(a) It is not possible to have discussion if differing viewpoints are not allowed. (b) While most of the commenters in this space share common social justice values, there are issues on which reasonable people can disagree. Discussions of disagreements do not have to end in one person seeing the error of their ways and conceding the other person\u2019s rightness.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

5. Find common starting points.<\/b>\u00a0In some cases disagreement happens between commenters who agree on 90% of issues overall. Locating common starting points may help commenters in these situations identify why and where they disagree. Try not to let minor disagreements become a Litmus Test for Being a Good Person.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

6. Treat others with kindness.<\/b>\u00a0Assume the best of other commenters and ask for clarification where necessary. Avoid \u201cgotcha\u201d politics or excessive nitpicking. Avoid slurs and abusive language.<\/span><\/p>\n

7. No doxxing.\u00a0<\/b>Respect the anonymity or pseudonymity of other commenters and blog authors.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

If another commenter is not following these guidelines, you are welcome to point them to this page. However, make sure you are not using the comment guidelines as a weapon. Try to focus on the spirit of the law rather than on the letter of the law.<\/p>\n

If a situation gets out of hand, you may contact the mods or myself.<\/p>\n

Mods:<\/strong>\u00a0ljfmoderatorteam@gmail.com<\/p>\n

Myself:<\/strong>\u00a0lovejoyfeminism@gmail.com<\/p>\n

Please try to work out situations yourself before initiating such contact, and bear in mind that the moderators and I have other jobs and responsibilities and may not be able to get back to you immediately. Remember, too, that the moderators may disagree with your assessment of the situation. Sometimes taking a short break from a difficult discussion may help provide clarity or perspective.<\/p>\n

Happy commenting!<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I did not begin blogging expecting to create a community. When I first started writing on blogspot five years ago, I never expected to even have regular commenters. Over the years, however, my commentariat has grown, and I’ve learned that running a popular blog comes with its own responsibilities, many of which I am ill prepared for. I’ve tried, very hard, to create a space that facilitates discussion, but I haven’t always been successful.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":845,"featured_media":28081,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[451],"class_list":["post-27800","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-meta","tag-comment-policy"],"yoast_head":"\nHitting the Reset Button<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I did not begin blogging expecting to create a community. When I first started writing on blogspot five years ago, I never expected to even have regular commenters. Over the years, however, my commentariat has grown, and I've learned that running a popular blog comes with its own responsibilities, many of which I am ill prepared for. I've tried, very hard, to create a space that facilitates discussion, but I haven't always been successful.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2016\/01\/hitting-the-reset-button.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Hitting the Reset Button\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I did not begin blogging expecting to create a community. When I first started writing on blogspot five years ago, I never expected to even have regular commenters. Over the years, however, my commentariat has grown, and I've learned that running a popular blog comes with its own responsibilities, many of which I am ill prepared for. I've tried, very hard, to create a space that facilitates discussion, but I haven't always been successful.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2016\/01\/hitting-the-reset-button.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Love, Joy, Feminism\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-01-20T09:00:09+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2016-01-27T02:22:08+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/166\/2016\/01\/counter-949233_1920.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"768\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"576\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Libby Anne\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Libby Anne\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"8 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2016\/01\/hitting-the-reset-button.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2016\/01\/hitting-the-reset-button.html\",\"name\":\"Hitting the Reset Button\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2016-01-20T09:00:09+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2016-01-27T02:22:08+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/#\/schema\/person\/fae465c1bbb5cbdf26c9e73bfd1b73d2\"},\"description\":\"I did not begin blogging expecting to create a community. When I first started writing on blogspot five years ago, I never expected to even have regular commenters. Over the years, however, my commentariat has grown, and I've learned that running a popular blog comes with its own responsibilities, many of which I am ill prepared for. I've tried, very hard, to create a space that facilitates discussion, but I haven't always been successful.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2016\/01\/hitting-the-reset-button.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2016\/01\/hitting-the-reset-button.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2016\/01\/hitting-the-reset-button.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Hitting the Reset Button\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/\",\"name\":\"Love, Joy, Feminism\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/#\/schema\/person\/fae465c1bbb5cbdf26c9e73bfd1b73d2\",\"name\":\"Libby Anne\",\"description\":\"Libby Anne grew up in a large evangelical homeschool family highly involved in the Christian Right. College turned her world upside down, and she is today an atheist, a feminist, and a progressive. She blogs about leaving religion, her experience with the Christian Patriarchy and Quiverfull movements, the detrimental effects of the \\\"purity culture,\\\" the contradictions of conservative politics, and the importance of feminism.\",\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/author\/libby\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Hitting the Reset Button","description":"I did not begin blogging expecting to create a community. When I first started writing on blogspot five years ago, I never expected to even have regular commenters. Over the years, however, my commentariat has grown, and I've learned that running a popular blog comes with its own responsibilities, many of which I am ill prepared for. I've tried, very hard, to create a space that facilitates discussion, but I haven't always been successful.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2016\/01\/hitting-the-reset-button.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Hitting the Reset Button","og_description":"I did not begin blogging expecting to create a community. When I first started writing on blogspot five years ago, I never expected to even have regular commenters. Over the years, however, my commentariat has grown, and I've learned that running a popular blog comes with its own responsibilities, many of which I am ill prepared for. I've tried, very hard, to create a space that facilitates discussion, but I haven't always been successful.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2016\/01\/hitting-the-reset-button.html","og_site_name":"Love, Joy, Feminism","article_published_time":"2016-01-20T09:00:09+00:00","article_modified_time":"2016-01-27T02:22:08+00:00","og_image":[{"width":768,"height":576,"url":"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/166\/2016\/01\/counter-949233_1920.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Libby Anne","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Libby Anne","Est. reading time":"8 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2016\/01\/hitting-the-reset-button.html","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2016\/01\/hitting-the-reset-button.html","name":"Hitting the Reset Button","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/#website"},"datePublished":"2016-01-20T09:00:09+00:00","dateModified":"2016-01-27T02:22:08+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/#\/schema\/person\/fae465c1bbb5cbdf26c9e73bfd1b73d2"},"description":"I did not begin blogging expecting to create a community. When I first started writing on blogspot five years ago, I never expected to even have regular commenters. Over the years, however, my commentariat has grown, and I've learned that running a popular blog comes with its own responsibilities, many of which I am ill prepared for. I've tried, very hard, to create a space that facilitates discussion, but I haven't always been successful.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2016\/01\/hitting-the-reset-button.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2016\/01\/hitting-the-reset-button.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2016\/01\/hitting-the-reset-button.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Hitting the Reset Button"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/","name":"Love, Joy, Feminism","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/#\/schema\/person\/fae465c1bbb5cbdf26c9e73bfd1b73d2","name":"Libby Anne","description":"Libby Anne grew up in a large evangelical homeschool family highly involved in the Christian Right. College turned her world upside down, and she is today an atheist, a feminist, and a progressive. She blogs about leaving religion, her experience with the Christian Patriarchy and Quiverfull movements, the detrimental effects of the \"purity culture,\" the contradictions of conservative politics, and the importance of feminism.","sameAs":["http:\/\/patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism"],"url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/author\/libby"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27800","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/845"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=27800"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27800\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/28081"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=27800"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=27800"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=27800"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}