using terms like \u201cdemiboy\u201d or \u201cdemigirl.\u201d<\/a>\u00a0How would transgender and nonbinary identities manifest in a society that did not have gender? I don\u2019t think we can answer that, because such a world seems so very far away (and perhaps impossible).<\/p>\nFor better or for worse, gender is the paradigm we have to work with. As a feminist, I approach this issue with two primary objectives: First, to ensure that \u201cmasculine\u201d and \u201cfeminine\u201d are understood broadly enough to give room for varieties of people; and Second, to ensure that the way we understand the \u201cmasculine\u201d and the \u201cfeminine\u201d is positive, helpful, and not toxic.<\/p>\n
John Piper and other conservative evangelicals often have very specific constructs of the \u201cmasculine\u201d and the \u201cfeminine\u201d in mind. These constructs pigeonhole people. Women are to be nurturers, period. Men are to be providers, period. There\u2019s no room for women who are assertive and not nurturing at all, or men who are nurturers and not particularly interested in the workplace.<\/p>\n
I remember wishing, as a girl, that I was different than I was. I wasn\u2019t graceful enough. I was too loud, too bossy, too talkative. I used to wonder how I would be able to submit to my future husband. Would I be able to be a sweet, nurturing, obedient wife? It was like being stuffed into a box I didn\u2019t fit. And believe me, I did try<\/em> to fit it. I wanted to fit it!<\/p>\nWhen we define gender and gender expression narrowly enough that children who do not fit in feel alienated and wonder if there is something wrong with them, there is a problem. When stereotypes about gender and gender expression shape individuals\u2019 progression in the workplace regardless of individuals\u2019 actual characteristics, there is a problem.<\/p>\n
Where does the meme I began with come in? In addition to ensuring that narrow understandings of gender do not limit or alienate people, we also need to ensure that stereotypes about gender do not acculturate individuals into negative actions or values. This is where \u201ctoxic masculinity\u201d comes in. Is masculinity about about guns and physical strength and bravado and the possession of beautiful women? For too many, it is.<\/p>\n
For too many, it is \u201cmasculine\u201d to settle disputes with violence. For too many, it is \u201cmasculine\u201d to push women for sexual favors even after they say no. Challenging these ideas and discussing the role of \u201ctoxic masculinity\u201d in domestic violence or mass shooting situations garners allegations of hating men<\/em>. Using violence to solve problems and treating women as objects to be possessed, and on and on, is treated as somehow inherent to maleness.<\/p>\nExcept that it isn\u2019t.<\/p>\n
This is why positive portrayals of strong individuals who are masculine (i.e. they are men) but also embody positive values and virtues is so important. Who do we want our little boys to emulate? What heroes do we want to set up as role models for them?<\/p>\n
We need heroes of every gender who embody a variety of characteristics\u2014nurturing and caring, assertiveness and daring, problem-solving and civic mindedness. We need T\u2019Challa, and we need Katherine Johnson. We need Mr. Rogers and we need Wonder Woman.<\/p>\n
We need to teach children that masculinity\u2014and femininity\u2014are not limiting. We need to teach them that they have the ability to define who they are\u2014whether masculine, feminine, or nonbinary\u2014and that they have a wide pallet to paint from.<\/p>\n
I have a <\/b>Patreon<\/b><\/a>! Please support my writing!<\/b><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"We need heroes of every gender who embody a variety of characteristics—nurturing and caring, assertiveness and daring, problem-solving and civic mindedness. We need T’Challa, and we need Katherine Johnson. We need Mr. Rogers and we need Wonder Woman. We need to teach children that masculinity—and femininity—are not limiting. We need to teach them that they have the ability to define who they are—whether masculine, feminine, or nonbinary—and that they have a wide pallet to paint from.<\/p>\n
Click through to read more!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":845,"featured_media":35979,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[135],"class_list":["post-35967","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-feminism","tag-gender"],"yoast_head":"\n
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<\/p>\n