I grew up in family strongly influenced by the Christian Patriarchy and Quiverfull movements. I was homeschooled in order to be \u201csheltered\u201d and \u201ctaught God\u2019s truth,\u201d and was taught that my role was to be a homemaker and that I was always to remain under male authority (first father, then husband).<\/p>\n
Given this, my readers have asked why I was sent to a secular college, or even to college at all. Since I\u2019ve been asked this multiple times, I thought it only fair to write a post on it. So, here goes.<\/p>\n
Preparation to be a Wife and Homemaker<\/strong><\/p>\n My parents highly valued education, and they argued that a college degree could actually prepare me to be a wife and homemaker. Having a college degree would make me a good intellectual helpmeet for my future husband, a helpmeet he could bond with and identify with. Further, a college degree would come in handy if disaster struck my future family.<\/p>\n Further, I didn\u2019t go to college with the expectation of a career, and I didn\u2019t study something I thought would lead to a career. Instead, I studied something I felt would make me a better homeschool mother, and also give me the opportunity to bring in some extra cash through tutoring other homeschool students.<\/p>\n In other words, I and my parents saw my college education as a step on the path to becoming a good wife, mother, and homemaker.<\/p>\n But What of My Father\u2019s Authority?<\/strong><\/p>\n My parents believed that even at college \u2013 even away from home \u2013 I could and would remain under my father\u2019s authority. After all, I was heading off to college with my father\u2019s permission, blessing, and sanction. I was also in some sense acting as an extension of my father, serving to represent his beliefs and views even far away from home.<\/p>\n And finally, while I wasn\u2019t expected to call home about every little decision, I was definitely expected to get \u2013 and heed \u2013 my father\u2019s advice on any larger decisions I encountered while in college (buying a car, traveling abroad, beginning a relationship, etc.).<\/p>\n Why Not a Christian College?<\/strong><\/p>\n To be honest, I wanted to get out of the hothouse environment and stand on my own two feet. I\u2019d grown up reading stories of resilient and daring missionaries, and I wanted to have to stand up for and defend my beliefs just as they did. I felt I hadn\u2019t had opportunity to really do <\/em>something for God because I\u2019d never been in the position where I could <\/em>do something for God.<\/p>\n I was troubled especially by the fact that I had not brought about a single conversion. Sure, I knew that someone planted the seeds, someone watered them, and someone harvested them, so you might never know when you\u2019d played a role in someone\u2019s conversion, but having never really known anyone who wasn\u2019t a Christian I wasn\u2019t sure how I was supposed to do even that. I grew up in a world where winning a convert \u2013 saving a soul from hell \u2013 was just about the best thing you could possible do. And I desperately desired to do just that.<\/p>\n I saw the secular college I attended as my mission field. I saw myself as God\u2019s warrior, and my fellow students, hedonists and pagans as they were, as my targets. I couldn\u2019t wait to start winning converts, to save souls from hell, to really do something for Jesus after everything I believed he had done for me. It didn\u2019t exactly work out that way, but that was my initial motivation.<\/p>\n How Were My Parents Okay with That?<\/strong><\/p>\n My parents believed that by homeschooling me they were equipping me to go out into the world and do God\u2019s work. They didn\u2019t see themselves as isolating me or indoctrinating me, but rather as creating a greenhouse environment where I would go strong and be ready to confront the world. And in that line, they had done everything they could to make sure my upbringing was as comprehensive and foolproof as possible, that I would grow strong in their beliefs and be ready and able to defend them.<\/p>\n You have to understand that my parents truly believed, and continue to believe, that their views are 100% absolutely true, and that anyone who honestly looks at the facts will come to the same conclusion as well. They used to talk about how Josh McDowell, the writer of Christian apologetics, set out to prove to his wife that Christianity was false and ended up, because of overwhelming evidence, coming to the conclusion that it was actually all true. Thus my parents weren\u2019t afraid of other viewpoints. They weren\u2019t afraid of my hearing other perspectives. They were that sure <\/em>that when all the evidence was on the table, their views would rise to the top.<\/p>\n When you combine these two factors \u2013 that my parents believed they had given me the tools I needed to persevere, the perfect Christian upbringing, and that they truly believed that not only were their beliefs 100% true but also that their beliefs were supported by any honest and unbiased look at the evidence \u2013 you start to see why my parents would see sending me off to a secular college as a good idea rather than a gamble. And of course, knowing that I saw that secular college as a mission field helped as well.<\/p>\n