Love Comes Softly, Chapter 31<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n This chapter is called \u201cnew strength.\u201d The purpose of Laura\u2019s death, it would seem, is to create opportunities for other characters to grow and mature. Or something?<\/p>\n By June the second cow had calved and, to Clark\u2019s great surprise, bore twin female calves\u2014a special gift from God, he announced. \u201cWe sure be able to make use o\u2019 one more,\u201d he told Marty.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Egads. How much milk does this family need?<\/em><\/p>\n [Note for readers not perusing the comment section: several readers with knowledge of dairy practices have noted that one milk cow would be more than enough milk for one family. Even with making butter and cheese out of some of it, a small family like Clark and Marty\u2019s would be hard pressed to use all of a single cow\u2019s milk\u2014and yet, they\u2019ve always had two cows in milk at once, along with a spare milk cow that\u2019s not currently making milk. And now, it seems, they have two more.]<\/p>\n The two sows have had their piglets\u2014a total of 14\u2014and three hens have hatched a grand total of twenty-seven chicks. I think the takeaway we\u2019re meant to have here is that life is moving on, and Clark and Marty are quickly making up the losses caused by the fiery demise of the barn.<\/p>\n And then there\u2019s this:<\/p>\n Marty still had not been able to shake off the sorrow of Laura\u2019s tragic death. It seemed to hang about her, choking out the happiness she wanted to feel.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Maybe I\u2019m being hard on Marty here, but this framing centers Marty in a way that makes me uncomfortable. She wants to be happy but she can\u2019t, because\u00a0Laura died.\u00a0<\/em>I don\u2019t get the feeling that any of the grief here is really for Laura. Marty didn\u2019t ever really know<\/em> Laura.<\/p>\n In a better book, Marty would be wracked with guilt for not reaching out to Laura back when she made a mental note to do so,\u00a0in November,\u00a0<\/em>back when it might have made a difference. She hadn\u2019t taken up with Milt then, and she hadn\u2019t yet been pregnant. Then maybe Clark would learn about the guilt she was feeling, and remind her that back in November she was still grieving Clem\u2019s loss, or tell her that there were others who could\u2019ve reached out too and didn\u2019t. Or maybe he\u2019d be all hardline and tell her that this was all Laura\u2019s doing and hers alone.<\/p>\n Instead, we get this nebulous sense of sadness that is manifested in moments like these:<\/p>\n She walked past the buildings and down to the stream. She seemed drawn to that quiet spot she had discovered long ago when she had needed comfort\u2014then because of her own loss, and now because of Ma\u2019s.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n I haven\u2019t had anyone close to me lose a child, so maybe I shouldn\u2019t judge this response. Maybe it\u2019s natural to feel grief primarily for the friend who lost a child, and not for the child\u2019s life cut short. But here,\u00a0Laura was Marty\u2019s age.\u00a0<\/em>This whole setup\u2014and Marty\u2019s close friendship with Ma\u2014would make a lot more sense if Marty had been a 27-year-old old maid when she hooked up with Clem and headed west, not a 19-year-0ld girl just one year older than 18-year-old Laura.<\/p>\n Actually, I do have more to say about this. My mother read me the All of a Kind Family books when I was a child, and I adored them. The book is about five sisters growing up a Jewish community in New York City circa 1900, I identified with the children, of course\u2014most of all with the sensible eldest, Ella. In reading through these books to my own children, today, I\u2019ve been struck by how much this has changed. Now, I identify with the children\u2019s mother. The mother, while very obviously a good mother, is something of a cipher. This is a children\u2019s book, after all. Still, I\u2019m curious. What makes her tick? When does she see her friends? I want to know more about her, and her life.<\/p>\n My point is that who we identify with frequently depends on where we are in our own lives. On a recent flight, I found myself seated next to an 18-year-old girl who had just graduated from high school. Our flight was delayed and she had missed her connection and her mother was texting her constantly, worried about her. To my complete shock, I found that it was the girl\u2019s mother\u2014and her concern\u2014that I identified with. I like to think of myself as still young and hip, but as the mother of a child approaching middle school, who I identify with has shifted.<\/p>\n Marty married Clem only a year before Laura married Milt. Like Laura, she was 18 when she married. Like Laura, her parents disapproved of her choice\u2014they were concerned about Clem\u2019s intention to move west. Why is Marty identifying so fully with Ma and Ma\u2019s loss, rather than with Laura, and everything Milt cut short?<\/p>\n This is frustrating to me<\/em>.<\/p>\n Anyway. Back to the chapter at hand.<\/p>\n Missie came down with the measles, and even though she was not awfully sick, Marty hovered over her, worried lest another tragedy strike. But the child was rather quickly up and around again, pretending that her doll had the measles \u2018an\u2019 needs a wet cloth on her head, too.\u2019<\/p><\/blockquote>\n In 1920, when cases of measles and measles related deaths were first reported, 1.5% of cases resulted in death. Marty\u2019s reaction, at least where Missie is regarded, seems reasonable. My real question is why there\u2019s no mention of Clare. Did Clare get the measles too? I suspect a three-month-old baby would face a higher risk of death from measles than a two-year-old child. I would also assume that Marty would take pains to keep the two separated, hoping to prevent Clare from catching it. It\u2019s like Oke just forgot Clare exists for a moment.<\/p>\n Also, where did Missie catch measles? I know measles is very contagious but I think you have to actually be exposed. Did the Grahams have measles? Did Clark take Missie with him to town one Saturday? (Speaking of, has Marty<\/em> been to town yet?) I\u2019m curious.<\/p>\n Missie\u2019s measles serve Marty in one way, though:<\/p>\n It was while Missie was still red-blooded and feverish that news came of the first wagon train passing through town, heading east. Marty was busy doctoring Missie, and there would be other trains, she told herself.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n She\u2019s putting her fingers in her ears and saying \u201cla la la la la\u201d to drown out the fact that she has a big decision coming up. I guess that\u2019s one approach!<\/p>\n Anyway, remember Marty\u2019s walk to the stream, and her need for comfort over Ma\u2019s loss? I went a little bit out of order here, because something else happens while Marty is at the stream. Namely, Clark comes up, interrupting Marty\u2019s musing about death and loss\u2014and the questions she has for God about this\u2014with some commentary.<\/p>\n \u201cGuess life be somethin\u2019 like that stream. \u2026 Things happen. Leaves fill it up\u2014animals waller in it\u2014spring floods fill it with mud.\u201d He hesitated. \u201cBright sunshine makes it like a mirror glass; sparklin\u2019 rain makes it grow wider, but it still moves on\u2014unchangin\u2019 like\u2014the same stream even with all the things thet happen to it. It breaks through the leaves, it clears itself of animal wallerin\u2019\u2014the muddy waters turn clean agin. The sunshine an\u2019 the rain it accepts, fer they give life an\u2019 strengthen it like, but it really could have done without \u2019em. They\u2019re extras like.\u201d He broke another branch and added more to the stream.<\/p>\n \u201cLife\u2019s like thet,\u201d he picked up again. \u201cBad things come, but life keeps on flowin\u2019, clearin\u2019 its path gradual like, easin\u2019 its own burden. The good times come, too; we maybe could make it without \u2019em, but the Lord knows we need \u2019em to help give meanin\u2019\u2014to strengthen us, to help us reflect the sunshine.<\/p>\n \u201cGuess one has to \u2018spect the good an\u2019 the bad, long as we be livin\u2019, an\u2019 try one\u2019s best to make the bad hurt as little as possible, an\u2019 the good\u2014one has to help it grow like, make all the good things count.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Marty is completely taken by this idea. But I have a question. What about Laura?<\/em>\u00a0How does any<\/em> of this apply to her<\/em> life? The focus here is on those who go on living and have to deal with loss, and not at all on those like Laura, who don\u2019t have that luxury.<\/p>\n Life was like that stream. It went on, whatever happened to it.\u00a0She was ready to go on now, too. She had drawn straight from the woods. No, not that. She had drawn strength from the God who had made the woods.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n Quick save, Oke! That almost went all hippy there for a moment! What a scandal this<\/em> would have made on the Christian bookstore shelves!<\/p>\n I find it interesting that they attribute the reassurance this analogy provides to God. This stream analogy isn\u2019t something that\u2019s intrinsically religious. The idea that streams sometimes get dirty or mired, but that over time they keep flowing and gradually wash away the muck\u2014that\u2019s actually somewhat helpful in a far more general sense.<\/p>\n Note that Clark says the good times are \u201cextras\u201d that people could probably do without, but that God offers to give life \u201cmeaning.\u201d (Oops, sorry\u2014meanin\u2019.) There seems to be an assumption that the bad things are the status quo, the underlying reality, or all that people deserve. That\u2019s just sad. I\u2019m glad Clark\u2019s words helped Marty, but there is something unappealing about his portrayal of God and reality.<\/p>\n Also? Contrary to Marty\u2019s musing, life does not go on \u201cwhatever happened to it.\u201d Laura died, and she\u2019s staying dead.<\/p>\n OH! Oh gosh! They found Laura\u2019s body\u00a0in a stream!\u00a0<\/em>That stream kept flowing, too! If they hadn\u2019t pulled Laura\u2019s body out to bury it, that stream would have eventually washed itself clean of her body! I realize Oke probably never connected this stream analogy with Laura at all, but this connection feels downright creepy. Shades of Omelas<\/a> indeed.<\/p>\n