{"id":4473,"date":"2012-05-26T22:33:37","date_gmt":"2012-05-27T02:33:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/?p=4473"},"modified":"2012-08-07T16:24:17","modified_gmt":"2012-08-07T20:24:17","slug":"worthwhile-reads-marriage-the-bible-sex-and-modesty","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2012\/05\/worthwhile-reads-marriage-the-bible-sex-and-modesty.html","title":{"rendered":"Worthwhile Reads: Marriage, the Bible, Sex, and Modesty"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

Spiritual Tyranny offers an excellent satire, Modesty Check for Men<\/a>, pointing out what would happen if the purity culture dropped its double standard regarding modesty teachings and pointed itself at men as well as at women:<\/p>\n

Am I wearing a sleeveless shirt that shows my underarm hair? Some women are turned on by the smell of sweat and hairiness of men. I need to put on a good deodorant, and wear sleeves.<\/p>\n

Are my jeans too tight in the groin or buttocks regions? Many women can be distracted if the jeans are too tight and cause the material to \u201cpull\u201d and reveal my manly physique. It is a sign of virility and women who are turned on by this will be caused to stumble.<\/p>\n

Do my \u201csix pack abs\u201d show when reaching over my head? Conversely, do my love handles show? Women can be turned on my either. Don\u2019t show mid-sections!<\/p>\n

And as for shorts and pants \u2013 I can\u2019t just check them standing up. I need to see how much they reveal and pull when I sit down. If I see too much groin or buttocks, I need a looser pair. But not so loose that my underwear shows from the backside. I should always wear a belt to keep my shirt tucked in, covering my mid-section, buttocks, and groin adequately with loose fitting shorts or pants.<\/p>\n

When I sit, do I sit slumped down, with my legs sprawled open, drawing attention to my groin area? Posture is important.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Valerie Tarico penned an article on Alternet called Captive Virgins, Polygamy, Sex Slaves: What Marriage Would Look Like if We Actually Followed the Bible<\/a>.<\/p>\n

The point is that marriage has changed tremendously since the Iron Age when the Bible was written. For centuries, concubines and polygamy\u00a0were debated<\/a> by Christian leaders \u2013 accepted by some and rejected by others. The nuclear family model so prized by America\u2019s fundamentalist Christians emerged from the interplay between Christianity and European cultures including the monogamous tradition of the Roman Empire. As humanity\u2019s moral consciousness has evolved, coerced sex has become less acceptable even within marriage while intertribal and interracial marriage has grown in acceptance. Today even devout Bible believers oppose sexual slavery. Marriage, increasingly, is a commitment of love, freely given. Gay marriage is simply a part of this broader conversation, and opposition on the part of Bible believers has little to do with biblical monogamy.<\/p>\n

Since many Christians haven\u2019t read the whole Bible, most \u201cBible believers\u201d are not, as they like to claim, actually Bible believers. Bible believers, even those who think themselves \u201cnondenominational,\u201d almost all follow some theological tradition that tells them which parts of the Bible to follow and how. Yes, sometimes even decent people do get sucked into a sort of text worship that I call bibliolatry, and Bible worship can make a person\u2019s moral priorities as archaic and cruel as those of the Iron Age tribesmen who wrote the texts.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sarah Over the Moon writes that The Church Needs to Do a Better Job Talking about Sex, and It Knows It<\/a>.<\/p>\n

So, here\u2019s a few ways in which the church can\u00a0really<\/em> do a better job of talking about sex:<\/p>\n

*Stop acting like people are ruined when they lose their virginity<\/p>\n

*Stop blaming women\u2019s \u201cimmodesty\u201d for men\u2019s lack of control<\/p>\n

*Stop saying, \u201cThe Bible is clear about premarital sex.\u201d It\u2019s not.<\/p>\n

*Stop saying, \u201cThe Bible is clear about homosexuality.\u201d It\u2019s not.<\/p>\n

*If you want people to view pregnancy as a gift, stop talking about single mothers like they\u2019re being punished by God.<\/p>\n

*Don\u2019t pretend that marriage is like pressing a magical, \u201cAll sex for the rest of your life will be great!\u201d button.<\/p>\n

*TALK ABOUT BIRTH CONTROL<\/p>\n

*Quit opposing sex education in schools.<\/p>\n

*Quit pretending that abstinence-only programs are sex education.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Spiritual Tyranny offers an excellent satire, Modesty Check for Men, pointing out what would happen if the purity culture dropped its double standard regarding modesty teachings and pointed itself at men as well as at women: Am I wearing a sleeveless shirt that shows my underarm hair? Some women are turned on by the smell […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":845,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,19],"tags":[106,131,105],"class_list":["post-4473","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-purity","category-worthwhile-reads","tag-marriage-2","tag-modesty","tag-sex-2"],"yoast_head":"\nWorthwhile Reads: Marriage, the Bible, Sex, and Modesty<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Spiritual Tyranny offers an excellent satire, Modesty Check for Men, pointing out what would happen if the purity culture dropped its double standard\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2012\/05\/worthwhile-reads-marriage-the-bible-sex-and-modesty.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Worthwhile Reads: Marriage, the Bible, Sex, and Modesty\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Spiritual Tyranny offers an excellent satire, Modesty Check for Men, pointing out what would happen if the purity culture dropped its double standard\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2012\/05\/worthwhile-reads-marriage-the-bible-sex-and-modesty.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Love, Joy, Feminism\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-05-27T02:33:37+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2012-08-07T20:24:17+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Libby Anne\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Libby Anne\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2012\/05\/worthwhile-reads-marriage-the-bible-sex-and-modesty.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2012\/05\/worthwhile-reads-marriage-the-bible-sex-and-modesty.html\",\"name\":\"Worthwhile Reads: Marriage, the Bible, Sex, and Modesty\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2012-05-27T02:33:37+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2012-08-07T20:24:17+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/#\/schema\/person\/fae465c1bbb5cbdf26c9e73bfd1b73d2\"},\"description\":\"Spiritual Tyranny offers an excellent satire, Modesty Check for Men, pointing out what would happen if the purity culture dropped its double standard\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2012\/05\/worthwhile-reads-marriage-the-bible-sex-and-modesty.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2012\/05\/worthwhile-reads-marriage-the-bible-sex-and-modesty.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2012\/05\/worthwhile-reads-marriage-the-bible-sex-and-modesty.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Worthwhile Reads: Marriage, the Bible, Sex, and Modesty\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/\",\"name\":\"Love, Joy, Feminism\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/#\/schema\/person\/fae465c1bbb5cbdf26c9e73bfd1b73d2\",\"name\":\"Libby Anne\",\"description\":\"Libby Anne grew up in a large evangelical homeschool family highly involved in the Christian Right. 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