As you will remember, Katy\u2019s brother James has moved in to study medicine under Ernest, adding another person to a household that already consists of Katy and Ernest, Ernest\u2019s sister Martha, and Ernest\u2019s father.<\/p>\n
DECEMBER 7.-James is my perpetual joy and pride. We read and sing together, just as we used to do in our old school days. Martha sits by, with her work, grimly approving; for is he not a man?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
I am finding this portrayal of Martha as sexist\u2014not the right word to use, to be sure as it is anachronistic\u2014fascinating. In reading\u00a0Stepping Heavenward,\u00a0<\/em>evangelical women can get a very low dose of what might be called feminism in higher concentrations, but cloaked in a solidly domestic cloth.<\/p>\nKaty and Ernest\u2019s one year anniversary arrives, and Katy is disappointed to find that Ernest does not even mention it, much less give her a present. The day began with Ernest\u2019s father shutting himself in his room again, convinced he is about to die, and Martha flying into a rage because she broke a dish, so Ernest\u2019s failure to remember their anniversary caps a terrible day.<\/p>\n
Ernest, who is not in the least sentimental, never said a word about our wedding-day, and. didn\u2019t give me a thing! I have kept hoping all day that he would make me some little present, no matter how small, but now it is too late; he has gone out to be gone all night, probably, and thus ends the day, an utter failure.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
I don\u2019t like this. If having anniversaries remembered in a special way is important to you, you should tell your partner that this is important to you. Not everyone cares about anniversaries, and it\u2019s not fair to get angry at someone for not remembering it. Would it have been that hard to mention it a week out, and suggest doing something special?<\/p>\n
In an odd way, though, this paragraph reminds me of just how unchanging some things are, even as we\u2019ve undergone major societal change in other areas.<\/p>\n
Now, there are a lot of things in this book that have just sort of run along, as Katy moves to the city, marries, and so forth. So, now, Prentiss offers a moment to reflect on how Katy has changed\u2014and not changed.<\/p>\n
I have been reading over the early part of this journal, and when I came to the conversation I had with Mrs. Cabot, in which I made a list of my wants, I was astonished that I could ever have had such contemptible ones. Let me think what I really and truly most want now.<\/p>\n
First of all, then, if God should speak to me at this moment and offer to give just one thing, and that alone, I should say without hesitation,<\/p>\n
Love to Thee, O my Master!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
What contemptible ones? Katy wanted to be liked and admired, the center of a group of lauding friends and acquaintances. There\u2019s an element of this that sounds like Katy growing up\u2014she\u2019s 22 now, not 16 or 17 anymore.<\/p>\n
But there\u2019s one area where Katy isn\u2019t ready to give\u2014she is sick unto death of having Ernest\u2019s sister and mother living in her household.<\/p>\n
Next to that, if I could have one thing more, I would choose to be a thoroughly unselfish, devoted wife. Down in my secret heart I know there lurks another wish, which I am ashamed of. It is that in some way or other, some right way, I could be delivered from Martha and her father. I shall\u00a0never be any better while they are here to tempt me!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Katy feels that her household cannot be the way she wants it\u2014calm, peaceful, a perfect oasis from the cares of life\u2014as long as Ernest\u2019s father and sister are living with them. She feels they are tempting her into outbursts and discontent, and that she would be a better person if they did not live there.<\/p>\n
Prentiss, as we are about to see, disagrees.<\/p>\n
FEBRUARY 1.-Ernest spoke to-day of one of his patients, a Mrs. Campbell, who is a great sufferer, but whom he describes as the happiest, most cheerful person he ever met.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Ah. We are about to have an introduction to nineteenth century ideas about suffering. Mrs. Campbell, you see, is bedridden and in constant pain,\u00a0but she is not upset about it.\u00a0<\/em>She believes that living with chronic pain has brought her close to Jesus, and in so doing has made her life better.<\/p>\nIn case it\u2019s not obvious what she\u2019s going to teach Katy, well, it\u2019s about to be.<\/p>\n
Katy is amazed at Mrs. Campbell\u2019s faith and happiness.<\/p>\n
To look at life as she does, to feel as she does, to have such a personal love to Christ as she has, I would willingly go through every trial and sorrow. When I told her so, she smiled, a little sadly.<\/p>\n
\u201cMuch as you envy me,\u201d she said, \u201cmy faith is not yet so strong that I do not shudder at the thought of a young enthusiastic girl like you, going through all I have done in order to learn a few simple lessons which God was willing to teach me sooner and without the use of a rod, if I had been ready for them.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBut you are so happy now,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, I am happy,\u201d she replied, \u201cand such happiness is worth all it costs. If my flesh shudders at the remembrance of what I have endured, my faith sustains God through the whole.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
In other words, Mrs. Campbell believes God gave her chronic pain to teach her \u201ca few simple lessons\u201d she could have learned earlier if she had been \u201cready for them.\u201d Um. Okay. Now that she has learned her lesson, is God going to take away the chronic pain he has apparently inflicted on her?<\/p>\n
But no, and I\u2019m sure she\u2019ll find some reason why\u2014God is using her pain to allow her to teach and influence others, perhaps\u2014people like Katy.<\/p>\n
But Katy is sure she knows of exceptions to this rule.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know,\u201d I began, \u201cdear Mrs. Campbell, that there are some trials that cannot do us any good. They only call out all there is in us that is unlovely and severe.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know of any such trials,\u201d she replied.<\/p>\n
\u201cSuppose you had to live with people who were perfectly uncongenial; who misunderstood you, and who were always getting into your way as stumbling-blocks?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIf I were living with them and they made me unhappy, I would ask God to relieve me of this trial if He thought it best. If He did not think it best, I would then try to find out the reason. He might have two reasons. One would be the good they might do me. The other the good I might do them.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Prentiss, of course, wants us to see this teaching as correct\u2014Mrs. Campbell is teaching Katy an important lesson, a lesson Prentiss is using this exchange to teach her readers. But, I suspect that part of what made this book so popular when it was published is that Katy does not just swallow such lessons.<\/p>\n
Katy pushes back.<\/p>\n
\u201cBut in the case I was supposing, neither party can be of the least use to the other.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou forget perhaps the indirect good one may in\u00a0by living with uncongenial, tempting persons. First such people do good by the very self-denial and self-control their mere presence demands. Then, their making one\u2019s home less home-like and perfect than it would be in their absence, may help to render our real home in heaven more attractive.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
I. What.<\/p>\n
By this measure, we should prefer living horrible, awful lives to living happy, equanimous lives. After all, if we live pleasant lives, we would never be required to practice self-denial or self-control, and we might not desire heaven so much.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t like this logic. For one thing, it utterly obliterates any reason to strive for social justice. Why help the poor, if the trials of being poor are helpful to one\u2019s spiritual state? Why remove an abusive person from the household, if being treated badly by those around you makes one better?<\/p>\n
\u201cBut suppose one cannot exercise self-control, and is always flying out and flaring up ?\u201d I objected.<\/p>\n
\u201cI should say that a Christian who was always doing that,\u201d she replied, gravely, \u201cwas in pressing need of just the trial God sent when He shut him up to such a life of hourly temptation. We only know ourselves and what we really are, when the force of circumstances bring us out.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Um. No.<\/p>\n
Being a parent has disabused me of this notion. I\u2019ve seen that my children can sometimes fly up and get angry in times when they are under great stress. The solution in most cases is\u00a0to remove the\u00a0stresses.\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n
If my younger child is nagging and worrying my older child and I can see that my older child is about to it, I tell my younger child to knock it off. I don\u2019t tell my older child to see this trial as an important moment of learning.<\/p>\n
And I certainly don\u2019t decide that my older daughter losing it when her younger brother won\u2019t leave her alone\u00a0is her showing her true self.\u00a0<\/em>No. No, it\u2019s not.<\/p>\n\u201cIt is very mortifying and painful to find how weak one is.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat is true. But our mortifications are some of God\u2019s best physicians, and do much toward healing our pride and self-conceit.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Growing up in an evangelical church, this logic is familiar to me. But I never fully liked it. I remember hearing at some point that if a family lost a child, God probably wanted to teach them something through that. And I remember objecting. I remember asking if God killed kids to teach their parents lessons.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t remember what I was told, but I definitely remember that my biggest takeaway was not to ask questions like that<\/em>. Gods, I haven\u2019t thought about that exchange for ages. I couldn\u2019t have been that old at the time.<\/p>\nAnyway, one last bit:<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you really think, then, that God deliberately appoints to some of His children a lot where their worst passions are excited, with a desire to bring good out of this seeming evil? Why I have always supposed the best thing that could happen to me, instance, would be to have a home exactly to my mind; a home where all were forbearing, loving and good-tempered, a sort of little heaven below.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIf you have not such a home, my dear, are you sure it is not partly your own fault?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Whaaaaat. DAYUM. That\u2019s harsh!<\/em><\/p>\nJust, ouch<\/em>.<\/p>\nI meditated long before I answered. Was God really asking me not merely to let Martha and her father live with me on sufferance, but to rejoice that He had seen fit to let them harass and embitter my domestic life?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI thank you for the suggestion,\u201d I said, at last.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Mrs. Campbell adds that Katy should try to see the good in everyone\u2014that everyone has their virtues\u2014and sends her on her way.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
Katy promptly gets in a big fight with Martha, who has purchased rancid butter but insists refuses to admit that the butter is rancid, instead insisting that Katy is just being particular. Katy isn\u2019t having it, and tells her as much.<\/p>\n
I find it hard to believe that it can do me good to have people live with me who like rancid butter, and who disagree with me in everything else.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
But of course, it\u2019s painful evident to the reader that we are to view Mrs. Campbell as wise, and that Katy will eventually see the truth in her advice\u2014she\u2019ll just take some time to get there. This, I suppose, makes Katy more relatable than she would be if she swooned at godly counsel and immediately accepted and implemented it with perfection.<\/p>\n
Now, there\u2019s an element of religion that has always been about giving people ways to deal with things in life they cannot change. Mrs. Campbell is likely happier believing that there is a purpose to her chronic pain than she would be if she thought it were just random. And Katy has been given new resolve for accepting something she cannot change\u2014her in-laws presence in her household.<\/p>\n
The trouble is that there are side effects to these teachings and ideas. Why find medical cures, if illness is God\u2019s way of teaching people lessons? In offering people a way to find meaning in suffering, these ideas can end up glorifying<\/em> suffering. Certainly, Katy should work on her temper. I learned long ago that blowing up when I\u2019m mad is usually less effective than taking a deep breath and explaining earnestly what is bothering me. But Martha\u2019s treatment of Katy is also\u00a0not okay.\u00a0<\/em>Katy should not have to accept her abuse.<\/p>\nAnd maybe that\u2019s the primarily issue here\u2014that too much emphasis on finding meaning in suffering can lead to an acceptance<\/em> of suffering, even when that suffering is neither necessary nor right. Katy can work to become a better person, but she cannot control Martha\u2019s behavior, and as long as Martha treats her the way she has been, Katy\u2019s life will always been full of her daily barbs.<\/p>\nAs a reader asked last week, would it be that hard for Ernest to tell his sister that if she is going to live with them, she has to treat his wife with respect, and end this constant meanness and picking? This is going on in Katy\u2019s own house, for god\u2019s sake. Would it be that hard<\/em> for Ernest to say something?<\/p>\nI have a <\/b>Patreon<\/b><\/a>! Please support my writing!\u00a0<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Growing up in an evangelical church, this logic is familiar to me. But I never fully liked it. I remember hearing at some point that if a family lost a child, God probably wanted to teach them something through that. And I remember objecting. I remember asking if God killed kids to teach their parents lessons.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Click through to read more!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":845,"featured_media":46599,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[923],"class_list":["post-46593","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-stepping-heavenward"],"yoast_head":"\n
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