But that\u2019s not the theme of this section! The theme of this section is this:<\/p>\n
I have just been to see Mrs. Campbell. In answer to my routine of lamentations, she took up a book and read me what was called, as nearly as I can remember, \u201cFour steps that lead to peace.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBe desirous of doing the will of another rather than thine own.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cChoose always to have less, rather than more.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSeek always the lowest place, and to be inferior to every one.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWish always, and pray, that the will of God may\u00a0be wholly fulfilled in thee.\u201d<\/p>\n
I was much struck with these directions; but I said, despondently:<\/p>\n
\u201cIf peace can only be found at the end of such hard roads, I am sure I shall always be miserable.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Um. No. This is bad.<\/p>\n
There\u2019s a lot to be said for accepting things you can\u2019t change. I have been in situations\u2014particularly on family vacations, it always seems\u2014where everything seems to go wrong and I realize that I can either be miserable or I can find a way to have a good time despite everything. I\u2019ve sometimes thought of it as shaping memories\u2014do I really want to remember this vacation by everything that went wrong?<\/p>\n
So, yes,<\/em>\u00a0the attitude one brings to one\u2019s circumstances is important. But this? This is crap. \u201cChoose always to have less, rather than more.\u201d \u201cBe desirous of doing the will of another rather than thine own.\u201d \u201cSeek always the lowest place, to be inferior to every one.\u201d The only one of that makes any sense is the last one: \u201cWish always, and pray, that the will of God may be wholly fulfilled in thee.\u201d I mean, sure, it only makes sense from a Christian perspective, but it\u2019s not as overtly harmful as the others.<\/p>\nI get not putting yourself forward. I get working on being content with what you have. But this? This is taking things way farther than it makes any sense to take them. But don\u2019t worry! We\u2019ll see its utter absurdity revealed in a moment!<\/p>\n
The one helpful<\/em> thing Mrs. Campbell tells Katy is this:<\/p>\n\u201cBut do you see, with equal clearness, that your\u00a0sanctification must be as fully His gift, as your salvation is?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo,\u201d I said, after a little thought. \u201cI have had a feeling that He has done His part, and now I must do mine.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMy dear,\u201d she said, with much tenderness and feeling, \u201cthen the first thing you have to do is to learn Christ.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Katy has been very distracted by trying and trying to become sanctified\u2014to become a better person. She has almost worn herself out over it. The idea that sanctification is a gift God gives her\u2014and not something she must work out\u2014sounds almost relaxing by contrast.<\/p>\n
Of course, that might open a whole host of other problems itself, but at this point I\u2019m solidly on team Katy needs to relax a little.<\/p>\n
Speaking of relaxing! Katy has a baby on October 4th. We hear nary a word of it until that day, when Katy\u2019s diary gives way to a flurry of letters to her mother\u2014letters from Ernest, from Aunty, and from James, Katy\u2019s brother who lives with them\u2014announcing the birth of \u201ca very fine little boy.\u201d So we can say for sure at this point that this book was definitely<\/em> written in the 19th century.<\/p>\nKaty is in awe of her baby, to the extent that Ernest\u2019s father accuses her of idolatry. Because of course he does. I was practically cheering for her when she pushed back:<\/p>\n
\u2018But, father,\u201d I persisted, \u201cGod gave me this child, and He gave me my heart, just as it is.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
But I promised you some followup too Mrs. Campbell\u2019s four steps that lead to peace, didn\u2019t I? Well, we\u2019re there. It is now Katy and Ernest\u2019s 2nd wedding anniversary, January 16, 1839.<\/p>\n
After dinner [Ernest] gave me a book I have been wanting for some time, and had asked him for-\u201cThe Imitation of Christ.\u201d Ever since that day at Mrs. Campbell\u2019s I have felt that I should like it, though I did think, in old times, that it preached too hard a doctrine. I read aloud to him the \u201cFour Steps to Peace\u201d; he said they were admirable, and then took it from me and began reading to himself, here and there. I felt the precious moments when I had got him all to myself were passing away, and was becoming quite out of patience with him when the words \u201cConstantly seek to have less, rather than\u00a0more,\u201d flashed into my mind. I suppose this direction had reference to worldly good, but I despise money, and despise people who love it, The riches I crave are not silver and gold, but my husband\u2019s love and esteem. And of these must I desire to have less rather than more? I puzzled myself over this question in vain, but when I silently prayed to be satisfied with just what God chose to give me of the wealth I crave, yes, hunger and thirst for, I certainly felt a sweet content, for the time, at least, that was quite resting and quieting.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Um. No. Wow.<\/p>\n
See, this<\/em> is the problem with these \u201cfour steps to peace.\u201d Katy gets it in her head that it means she should work to desire less love and esteem from her husband. Actually, it\u2019s worse than that. The exact rule is \u201cConstantly seek<\/em> to have less, rather than more.\u201d So she\u2019s supposed to seek<\/em> to have less love and esteem from her husband. What does that even look like? Getting drunk and making a fool of herself at a party\u2014to try to drive down her husband\u2019s esteem for her?<\/p>\nBut of course, Katy doesn\u2019t ever have to actually puzzle that out:<\/p>\n
And just as I had reached that acquiescent mood Ernest threw down his book, and came and caught me in his arms.<\/p>\n
\u201cI thank God,\u201d he said, \u201cmy precious wife, that I married you this day. The wisest thing I ever did was when I fell in love with you and made a fool of myself!\u201d<\/p>\n
What a speech for my silent old darling to make! Whenever he says and does a thing out of character, and takes me all by surprise, how delightful\u00a0he is! Now the world is a beautiful world, and so is everybody in it.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Sweet<\/em>. Problem solved. She gets to have her cake and eat it too.<\/p>\nActually, there was one hint of Katy\u2019s pregnancy, which I didn\u2019t see on the first read-through, and only noticed after getting to the letters announcing the baby\u2019s birth.<\/p>\n
This, two months before the baby\u2019s birth:<\/p>\n
I feel a perfect weight of depression that makes me a burden to myself and to poor Ernest, who, after visiting sick people all day, needs to come home to a cheerful wife. But he comforts me with the assurance that this is merely physical despondency, and that I shall get over it by and by. How kind, how even tender he is! My heart is getting all it wants from him, only I am too stupid to enjoy him as I ought.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Poor Katy still very much up and down.<\/p>\n
Oh\u2014and also, in her letter to Katy\u2019s mother after the birth of Katy\u2019s baby, Aunty wrote the following:<\/p>\n
I need not add that our darling Katy behaved nobly. Her self-forgetfulness and consideration for others were really beautiful throughout the whole scene. The doctor may well be proud of her, and I took care to tell him so ill presence of that dreadful sister of his. I never met so angular, so uncompromising a person as she is in all my life. She does not understand Katy, and never can, and I find it hard to realize that living with such a person can furnish a wholesome discipline, which is even more desirable than the most delightful home. And yet I not only know that is true in the abstract, but I see that it is so in the fact. Katy is acquiring both self-control and patience and her Christian character is developing in a way that amazes me. I cannot but hope that God will, in time, deliver her from this trial; indeed, feel sure that when it has done its beneficent work He will do so.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
It would have been nice if Katy\u2019s mother could have taken a moment to understand, when she visited, why Katy so hates living with Martha. Sure, Martha helps the family economize and has taken on much of the burden of running the household, but couldn\u2019t she do this without treating Katy like shit?<\/p>\n
See for instance this, which Katy wrote after the baby was born:<\/p>\n
During my whole sickness, Martha has been so hard, so cold, so unsympathizing that sometimes it has seemed as if my cup of trial could not hold another drop. She routed me out of bed when I was so languid that everything seemed a burden, and when sitting up made me faint away. I heard her say to herself, that I had no constitution and had no business to get married.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
So that\u2019s fun<\/em>.<\/p>\nBut it\u2019s good for Katy! Living with someone who is mean and wantonly cruel is building her character! Being bullied in her own home is making her a better person! So it\u2019s all to the good!<\/p>\n
I\u2019m sure you could work that into at least one<\/em> of the \u201cfour steps to peace,\u201d if not all four.<\/p>\nI have a <\/b>Patreon<\/b><\/a>! Please support my writing!\u00a0<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"I get not putting yourself forward. I get working on being content with what you have. But this? This is taking things way farther than it makes any sense to take them. But don’t worry! We’ll see its utter absurdity revealed in a moment! \u00a0<\/p>\n
Click through to read more!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":845,"featured_media":46677,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[923],"class_list":["post-46674","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-stepping-heavenward"],"yoast_head":"\n
Stepping Heavenward: Four Ways to Peace<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I get not putting yourself forward. I get working on being content with what you have. But this? This is taking things way farther than it makes any sense to take them. But don't worry! We'll see its utter absurdity revealed in a moment! \u00a0 Click through to read more!\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2019\/12\/stepping-heavenward-four-ways-to-peace.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Stepping Heavenward: Four Ways to Peace\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I get not putting yourself forward. I get working on being content with what you have. But this? This is taking things way farther than it makes any sense to take them. But don't worry! We'll see its utter absurdity revealed in a moment! \u00a0 Click through to read more!\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2019\/12\/stepping-heavenward-four-ways-to-peace.html\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Love, Joy, Feminism\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-12-20T16:43:18+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/166\/2019\/12\/statue-499190_1920.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"768\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"508\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Libby Anne\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Libby Anne\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"9 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2019\/12\/stepping-heavenward-four-ways-to-peace.html\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2019\/12\/stepping-heavenward-four-ways-to-peace.html\",\"name\":\"Stepping Heavenward: Four Ways to Peace\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2019-12-20T16:43:18+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2019-12-20T16:43:18+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/#\/schema\/person\/fae465c1bbb5cbdf26c9e73bfd1b73d2\"},\"description\":\"I get not putting yourself forward. I get working on being content with what you have. But this? This is taking things way farther than it makes any sense to take them. But don't worry! We'll see its utter absurdity revealed in a moment! \u00a0 Click through to read more!\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2019\/12\/stepping-heavenward-four-ways-to-peace.html#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2019\/12\/stepping-heavenward-four-ways-to-peace.html\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2019\/12\/stepping-heavenward-four-ways-to-peace.html#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Stepping Heavenward: Four Ways to Peace\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/\",\"name\":\"Love, Joy, Feminism\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/#\/schema\/person\/fae465c1bbb5cbdf26c9e73bfd1b73d2\",\"name\":\"Libby Anne\",\"description\":\"Libby Anne grew up in a large evangelical homeschool family highly involved in the Christian Right. College turned her world upside down, and she is today an atheist, a feminist, and a progressive. She blogs about leaving religion, her experience with the Christian Patriarchy and Quiverfull movements, the detrimental effects of the \\\"purity culture,\\\" the contradictions of conservative politics, and the importance of feminism.\",\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/author\/libby\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Stepping Heavenward: Four Ways to Peace","description":"I get not putting yourself forward. I get working on being content with what you have. But this? This is taking things way farther than it makes any sense to take them. But don't worry! We'll see its utter absurdity revealed in a moment! \u00a0 Click through to read more!","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2019\/12\/stepping-heavenward-four-ways-to-peace.html","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Stepping Heavenward: Four Ways to Peace","og_description":"I get not putting yourself forward. I get working on being content with what you have. But this? This is taking things way farther than it makes any sense to take them. But don't worry! We'll see its utter absurdity revealed in a moment! \u00a0 Click through to read more!","og_url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2019\/12\/stepping-heavenward-four-ways-to-peace.html","og_site_name":"Love, Joy, Feminism","article_published_time":"2019-12-20T16:43:18+00:00","og_image":[{"width":768,"height":508,"url":"https:\/\/wp-media.patheos.com\/blogs\/sites\/166\/2019\/12\/statue-499190_1920.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Libby Anne","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Libby Anne","Est. reading time":"9 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2019\/12\/stepping-heavenward-four-ways-to-peace.html","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2019\/12\/stepping-heavenward-four-ways-to-peace.html","name":"Stepping Heavenward: Four Ways to Peace","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/#website"},"datePublished":"2019-12-20T16:43:18+00:00","dateModified":"2019-12-20T16:43:18+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/#\/schema\/person\/fae465c1bbb5cbdf26c9e73bfd1b73d2"},"description":"I get not putting yourself forward. I get working on being content with what you have. But this? This is taking things way farther than it makes any sense to take them. But don't worry! We'll see its utter absurdity revealed in a moment! \u00a0 Click through to read more!","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2019\/12\/stepping-heavenward-four-ways-to-peace.html#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2019\/12\/stepping-heavenward-four-ways-to-peace.html"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/2019\/12\/stepping-heavenward-four-ways-to-peace.html#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Stepping Heavenward: Four Ways to Peace"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/","name":"Love, Joy, Feminism","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/#\/schema\/person\/fae465c1bbb5cbdf26c9e73bfd1b73d2","name":"Libby Anne","description":"Libby Anne grew up in a large evangelical homeschool family highly involved in the Christian Right. College turned her world upside down, and she is today an atheist, a feminist, and a progressive. She blogs about leaving religion, her experience with the Christian Patriarchy and Quiverfull movements, the detrimental effects of the \"purity culture,\" the contradictions of conservative politics, and the importance of feminism.","sameAs":["http:\/\/patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism"],"url":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/author\/libby"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46674","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/845"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=46674"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46674\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/46677"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=46674"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=46674"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/lovejoyfeminism\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=46674"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}